Not really a big issue I suppose, as ultimately no one else will be able to decide for me (or argue with me when it happens!), but this has annoyed me!
I don’t have children and am very happy for it to stay that way. I was having a general discussion with my parents about retirement plans, as they’re looking to downsize now that they’re retiring. I said I’d probably do similar when I’m older to give myself a lump sum, or maybe do equity release if I decide I don’t want to move. I added that I know a lot of people are against equity release, but that it wouldn’t be the same issue for me, because it’s not as if I have children who will be expecting an inheritance.
My dad said, almost before I’d finished speaking, and in what I felt was a quite causal/dismissive way, “Well, it’ll all go to Lucy”. I said, “Sorry?” and he said, “Your house, your money; it’ll all go to Lucy when you die.”
Lucy is my niece; my brother’s only child. I love her very much and, in all likelihood, I will indeed leave her anything that happens to be left over. But I’m certainly not planning my finances with an inheritance for her in mind. She’ll get everything from her parents, plus whatever my parents leave to my brother - she certainly won’t have to rely on getting anything from me!
I said, fairly jokingly, “Er, hang on - I think that’s up to me! I might not want to leave it all to Lucy!” But my dad seemed to take it quite seriously. He was saying, “Well who else are you going to leave it to? Friends? What’s the point in that when you’re all around the same age anyway? Of course you’ll leave it to Lucy.”
I replied that I’d probably do just that, but a) it would be MY choice and there was no “of course” about it and b) that while she was welcome to anything that was left over, I wasn’t planning for there to be much, because I’m going to spend it, on me.
My dad was a bit huffy about this. He has an awful habit of getting dismissive when a discussion doesn’t go his way, and that’s what I got this time - an “Okay, fine; that’s that”, where he’ll try to shut down the conversation, but then will still throw in a “I just think that…” and goes back to his original point.
I know that it doesn’t realistically matter, as I don’t have to even tell my parents what’s in my will, and unless they outlive me, they’ll never find out. But it’s the assumption that annoys me. What if I wanted to leave the whole lot to charity? Or just plain old didn’t want someone else telling me what was happening to my money? Surely this isn’t for anyone to make assumptions about, family or otherwise?