WFH- partner came over unannounced

What a toxic, controlling master manipulator and gaslighter he is! I wonder if he even has any health problems since tests showed he didn't. My belief is that he was inventing health problems to manipulate you. Probably the only problem he has is psychological. He truly sounds dangerous and fucked up in the head. You are well rid of him. NEVER let him back, no matter what.

I understand it was the kind of meeting you could step away for a minute, but those minutes should have been to attend to your own needs.

the most he should have gotten was a quick hello and for you to let him know that you are in a meeting until X (and perhaps a quick reminder that your work day ends at y)

I am glad you saw the light. I hope he leaves you alone from now on, and your sons.

Sorry OP - read your updates now. So glad you've ended things. He sounds insane! The story about him turning up to your pub job all cross because you were working, omg.

You'll find that the peace will be marvellous!

He barged into your office while you were in a meeting and made stupid noises? What a complete turn-off. Is he twelve?

He's also displaying abusive behaviour. If he tries to sabotage your work now, and gets cross with you for not paying attention to him during work hours and when you're actually in a meeting then I dread to think what it would be like if you were tied to him in some way. Mortgage, pooled funds, marriage, baby, or any other way. Because that's when abusers take the mask off and ramp it up. This episode was his mask slipping. Normal adults do not act like this about their partner being at work.

It sounds like he has some health issues, so if I were you, I'd see him through those, until he's a bit better, and then I would do some serious thinking about whether you want to chance a future with this person.

Unless the "really worried about my health" was the sort of "chest pains / arm falling off / blood everywhere" type of worry, he was being a PITA.

How unwell is he ? The flu or something really scary ?

Unwarrented for him to be interupting your work.
I would revisit him being unwell. Agree that you will fuss over each other's health in your personal time but not during work hours.
Let each other know when your lunch breaks are while either of you are sick so that contact can be made without disruption.

Tell your partner that next time he interupts your work you will assume that he has had a massive turn for the worse and you will be calling an ambulance for him.

He made stupid noises when you’re in a work call?

OP, please be careful. It’s illegal to date a twelve year old.

He's got access to your icloud account?

You know that means he can read everything, don't you?

I'm sorry op, I missed that your eldest is at uni and not being supported by you!

Hope all is well this evening?

He sounds tiresome. Like he feels a bit under the weather and expects you to drop everything and make a big fuss over him. If he felt really ill he'd have taken himself off to bed with paracetamol.

I actually smiled with relief when I drove away. I hadn’t realised how wrong this had all felt until this afternoon. The penny actually dropped.

Remember that feeling. Hold it real tight. And prepare for a lot of emotional anguish of how he didn't mean it, how he cannot cope and you are being so selfish not to have him back (to ruin your life), blah blah blah.

Hello and welcome to mumsnet Gutsy_Inchacha

Quite.

I wonder if this poster realises that without the Network Rail timetable planners who work from home 4 days in 5, there would be no point in her star pupil train drivers turning up for work.

Would he do it if you worked in an office? Come and interrupt your meeting and make stupid noises? I think not.

He’s being a prize prat.

You found your inner tiger and roared! Well done! I'm sitting here smiling broadly at your updates.
Stay safe and stay strong. You're better off without him.

Good riddance OP. What a twat. And you should be very proud with yourself.

Well at least he didn't mooch in wearing the dressing gown of doom😂
Hopefully he'll stay away permanently.

Why can't you? Are you actually saying that being a lawyer isn't a 'real' job?

If you don’t think an accountant or a lawyer has a ‘real job’, then I suppose that’s your right. I don’t agree or understand your metric, however.

The hairdressers one is funny though- this poster has decided all those other jobs don’t matter or contribute to life at all, only teachers and doctors etc matter and of course don’t forget the world falls apart if we cant go and get our hair cut!

I think you may have misunderstood my comment.

Ah. Plus without the banks most people won’t have a home so that problem solves itself I guess when all the people wfh stop work as it’s not a real job. There are people working from home every day, triaging your medical cases, etc. And if they all stopped, your water systems would fall over (actually with water they would go bankrupt first given the amount of financial struggles they have at the moment), a number of your power companies would also, as would the airports. I guess the roads would continue to sit there and eventually fall into disprepair, it’s not as immediately obvious as the other when they stop being run. You can sit in your post apocalyptic rubble and say oh good only real jobs left.

even 15 years ago I knew people who could fire up gas power plants from their phone at home to feed needed energy into the grid. Imagine how much else there is like that now. But I guess you don’t need power, that’s not a real job.

Why not?

That is exactly what I meant - you can hardly compare finance, accountancy, law, anything digital and marketing with the work of teachers, non-GP doctors, bus/plane/train drivers, hairdressers, dentists, nurses, etc. That is what I meant.