WFH- partner came over unannounced

I did thanks. @daffodillydallydame

He want round, without asking. He does this often.

On this occasion her DC let him in. She told him, i can't spare much time busy, busy. He then interrupted her when she went back to work.

And if she says something he gets "cross" says variations of you should love me more than your job.

Clearly this is frequent exchange, because she expects comments about him saying patronising things about her high and mighty job.

And I think she should be the one who is cross. He was entitled. He was rude. He was patronising. All in her home.

I find weird. I understand about boundaries and all that however it’s crazy to me. Firstly having a partner u should be able to be happy when u call on each other unexpectedly hence partner it’s not that deep. Of course while on a call can be tricky it can be managed. The face u have accommodated means ur relationship as far as that is concerned is okay but was not ok this time coz this time not so keen(according to yr explanation). I am not surprised relationships don’t work nowadays as too many ground rules instead of just enjoying what each brings or be on your own. Some things when I read it sounds exhausting frankly

Maybe read the thread, @Laura95167?

Or at the very least, read the OP’s posts.

I mainly WFH. I was in a video call meeting earlier when DP arrived at my house unannounced (we don’t live together). He was unwell yesterday and I know he is really worried about his health, I made my excuses from my call for a few mins whilst I said hello to and made him a cup of tea, checked how he was feeling and apologised that I couldn’t take more time out of my meeting (sometimes when he pops over unannounced I might be able to grab 15 mins but not always). I rejoined my call.

DP then interrupted me after 20 mins or so by coming into my office, made stupid noises and laughed when I muted my call and asked him to keep it down. I was really embarrassed. He left but 20 mins later came back and said he was going and it was clear he was pretty cross that I hadn’t made more effort to fuss round him.

I understand that he is scared about his health and wanted more support than I gave him. But AIBU to think that I shouldn’t have just dropped everything? I know that when I call him in a minute he’ll say something along the lines of “as your partner I should take priority over work” or something like that and it will be the start of a reason to be cross with me.

“as your partner I should take priority over work”

He sounds like a big baby.

I'd be dumping him for that remark alone.

I find weird. I understand about boundaries and all that however it’s crazy to me. Firstly having a partner u should be able to be happy when u call on each other unexpectedly hence partner it’s not that deep. Of course while on a call can be tricky it can be managed. The face u have accommodated means ur relationship as far as that is concerned is okay but was not ok this time coz this time not so keen(according to yr explanation). I am not surprised relationships don’t work nowadays as too many ground rules instead of just enjoying what each brings or be on your own. Some things when I read it sounds exhausting frankly

I find weird. I understand about boundaries and all that however it’s crazy to me. Firstly having a partner u should be able to be happy when u call on each other unexpectedly hence partner it’s not that deep. Of course while on a call can be tricky it can be managed. The face u have accommodated means ur relationship as far as that is concerned is okay but was not ok this time coz this time not so keen(according to yr explanation). I am not surprised relationships don’t work nowadays as too many ground rules instead of just enjoying what each brings or be on your own. Some things when I read it sounds exhausting frankly

Don't call, don't text, don't justify, don't explain, don't complain. Just withdraw. He's not going to change (even if he says he will).
Like another PP said- This Man Does Not Like You...he's actively trying to bring you down- see him for what he is

When Someone Shows you what they are really like, believe them- the first time.

I also hate him coming over unannounced. He knows this. I’d also messaged him this morning to see how he was as I know how worried he is about his ongoing health concerns, but he hasn’t replied and knew that this would in turn concern me. He’d seen the message. He just wanted drama didn’t he?

I find weird. I understand about boundaries and all that however it’s crazy to me. Firstly having a partner u should be able to be happy when u call on each other unexpectedly hence partner it’s not that deep. Of course while on a call can be tricky it can be managed. The face u have accommodated means ur relationship as far as that is concerned is okay but was not ok this time coz this time not so keen(according to yr explanation). I am not surprised relationships don’t work nowadays as too many ground rules instead of just enjoying what each brings or be on your own. Some things when I read it sounds exhausting frankly

Bottom line - real jobs - teachers, surgeons, hairdressers, taxi/plane/train/bus drivers, nurses, shop assistants, cleaners, etc. can't be done from home.