WFH- partner came over unannounced

OP, that really doesn't sound good - you have obviously done pretty well bringing up 3 kids on your own, and his attitude sounds very disrespectful. I would be seriously reconsidering the relationship.

And no your partner is NOT more important than paying for three dependents and a mortgage! Just no.

"as your partner, I should take priority over work" &

"he will suggest (without saying it mind you) that I am getting a high and mighty opinion of myself and my “important” job."

Does he not work himself? Sounds like he has a major chip on his shoulder. I'd run if I was you.

He sounds like a third child. You have the secondary problem that he is also sabotaging your work prospects, leaving you and your dc in a very vulnerable position. Why on earth are you allowing this relationship to continue? Your whole livelihood is hanging on the security of your job.

My DH works from home full-time; keeps the door open for the pets but I never go in the office if I can hear there’s a call on. Even if I can’t hear anything I will peep around the door to see if there’s anyone on screen. And even if there isn’t I still knock! It’s just basic respect, he wouldn’t come into your workplace if you didn’t WFH and do this would he?

Your 'D'P is an arse.
I am WFH this afternoon. DH is also at home, bored, but has popped his head into my office once while I was on a Teams call to bring me a cup of tea. It's all about respect, or lack of, in your case, OP.

He's a narcissistic manchild cunt.

“I also hate him coming over unannounced”

Lay this down as your firm boundary - you cannot come over unannounced because I don’t like it. If you do this again it will prove to me for the final time that you do not respect me and I will have to end the relationship because I will not be in a relationship with someone who disrespects me.

"and it will be the start of a reason to be cross with me."

This concerns me slightly. Is there a pattern of him finding reasons to be cross with you?

Your work is your livelihood. It is how you make money to live. It's how you support your children.

If he could get himself over to your place and drink tea, he wasn't that ill. Your partner shouldn't be just dropping in and expecting you to take off work to hold your hand to his fevered brow or some such bullshit. That he interrupted your work twice was rude as fuck. He did that deliberately and I'd be getting my keys back. He's trying to get you to play into his health anxiety and being manipulative. In fact, I wouldn't have time for his bullshit. Yes, your work takes priority over his coming over playing sick and expecting you to cater to him like some bangnurse.

A medical emergency is different.

He’s a child

youll never be an equal

He sounds like a self centred arsehole. I would dump him. You've got three kids, you don't need another one do you? Give him the elbow before you lose your job and your home. Oh, and your self respect.

I'd be pissed! Would he have walked into an office and sat in on your meeting? You're working, he clearly thinks you should drop everything at his beck and call. Let him sulk and when you do talk to him, tell him how disrespectful he was.

Is he likely to get nasty if you end it?

He sounds horrendous.

Would he go into a office to see you and expect you to drop everything? No as that would be mental.
He needs to change his mindset and realise you are at work . Even though it's in your home .
Very unprofessional. He should be saying sorry to you

Are you a doctor? If not the first thing you should have done was tell him to get doctor's appointment or go to A+E. He is outrageous,

I know that when I call him in a minute he’ll say something along the lines of “as your partner I should take priority over work” or something like that and it will be the start of a reason to be cross with me.

OP, I don’t think is a healthy relationship. At all. He sounds like a spoilt, controlling cunt.

He isn't that ill if he can get himself to your place and make silly noises. What a dickhead.

Even my kids know they don't interrupt work calls, he's a child. He needs to be apologising not you.

If he wants to take priority over your work, maybe he should start paying all your bills.

Omg I’d be furious with him! Worried about his health or not, he cannot just interrupt your working day unannounced and especially not disturb your meetings.
You should give him a piece of your mind and let him know that whilst you’re sympathetic to his illness and worries, this is absolutely unacceptable behaviour.
I assume if you were in a workplace he would never just turn up and interrupt- he needs to treat your home office the same way.

Sorry but that is appalling behaviour - when you are WFH you are in your office. Would he have turned up at your work base office and behaved like that - I don't think so ? This really isn't normal behaviour.

He has demonstrated that he has no respect for you , health worries are no excuse, and you shouldn't be entertaining his interruptions. In fact you really should question whether you should continue the relationship.

No woman’s job could possibly be as important as a man’s needs. Bin the misogynistic, grim prick off.

You definitely need more practice with boundaries but also, you need to be single. I'm the same as you, men who takes the piss seem to gravitate towards me and they love nothing more than messing with your brain and make you think they are the reasonable ones and you are the crazy over sensitive one. That's why I'm single for the last 3 years and will remain that way until I can trust myself to spot the signs. My kids are also older and I'm just enjoying having my freedom and the bed to myself, it's so calm and peaceful.

Yes he’s trying to make her vulnerable. Her children too seeing as she supports them.