To feel so embarrassed after trip to dentist

I have refused to see one particular hygienist since she was so rude about my teeth.

Menopause and three years of bed rest post covid my teeth were the least of my worries.

I was desperately worried I wouldn't be strong enough to walk from the car park and she had the audacity to try to lecture me at length.

The crazy thing is I was actually looking after my teeth as well as usual, I had some cosmetic work carried out pre covid and could not get on top of gum health then so hormones were likely the biggest issue.

You poor thing. Pregnancy does affect your teeth.
I had a hygienist appointment and it was similar. She asked me how I cleaned my teeth. I went to put my (clean) finger in my mouth. But she shouted at me and made me put alcohol gel on my hands. Then just basically told me everything was doing was wrong. I felt so upset afterwards. All for the £88 bargain 🤬.
Luckily when I had my next appointment it was a different lady who was lovely and could tell I'd done what I'd been asked (interdental brushes)

Asthma inhalers (particularly preventers) can affect tooth decay etc and you should always brush after using - we were told this when DS was diagnosed two years ago.

If you can afford it see a hygienist at least one a year, use the electric toothbrush and floss. I’ve heard a manual vs electric toothbrush being described as the difference between using a brush and pan vs a vacuum cleaner - it makes a big difference.

It also doesn’t sound like the dentist had much of a bedside manner either, so go elsewhere if you prefer.

This happened to me OP, about 40 years ago. It has led to a lifetime of hating seeing the dentist, shame and embarrassment. I loathe showing my teeth to the dentist (there's nothing particularly wrong with them) and never smile on photos.

Please don't let this happen to you.

Well I think you should be grateful that she told you even if it was a bit brusque by nice UK middle class standards. Get your electric toothbrush etc and get your treatment and press on.

My teeth were great until I had dc. They’ve been in various phases of disrepair ever since!

I agree with recommendation for electric toothbrush, just go gently in your gums. I also use interdental brushes as my teeth are too close together to floss from the top. My dentist (NHS) also prescribed a 6 month course of high fluoride toothpaste (Duraphat 5000) to help strengthen my teeth. Maybe ask about this.
Positives - you have got a dentist so can get the treatment you need. Maybe think about an appointment with a hygienist after that. And be kind to yourself.

Has it been five years and two pregnancies since your last check up?

If so, maybe it’s just incremental build up- things that would have been addressed before if you’d been able to get there.

Please don't feel awful. As you say, your life has been upside down for a few years, and you're certainly not the only person who's found it difficult to access a dentist, it's a national problem.

I grew up in the 70s and have teeth to match 😂with more filling than tooth in my mouth! Red wine is my downfall, too, but your electric brush and a whitening toothpaste will take the edge off.

The main thing is that you are now keeping on top of them, regular appointments are so important - and are doing this for your kids too.

Your dentist clearly has a ‘bedside manner’ that doesn’t work for you!

I’d get the fillings done, if you can afford it get a good clean from the hygienist, then if there are options in your area seek a different dentist!

I have dodgy teeth, mainly for lifestyle reasons, and have been upset by some dentists / hygienists, now have a lovely practice (NHS dentist & pay for the hygienist) and am honest with them & they give me advice but in a kind way.

Ah, I’ve been there. Sympathies.
Dentists in my experience do have a way of telling people off and making you feel shit. With their pearly white smiles. grrr.

All you can do is get the fillings done, buy the electric toothbrush, and put it behind you.

There are much more important things that endear you to your family and friends than your teeth. Come to think about it, I couldn’t tell you what any of my friends’ teeth are like. I don’t really notice them. Teeth are to chew things and once they’re pain free and healthy again, that’s all that matters. Teeth that look good are nice, but not all that important or helpful. The dentist had great teeth and it didn’t make you warm to her any the more, did it?!
Yours will be filled and healthy again soon. Cheer up.

You are advised to rinse your mouth after using an inhaler.

Doesn't sound like she handled it well at all. That’s her failing. Dentists need to have sensitivity with their clients. Find another dentist if you can, and don’t feel bad.

Electric toothbrushes are amazing so it’s great you’re getting one.

Never mind about the past you can't change that.

Focus on the now. Great oral hygiene, twice yearly visits and keep on top of everything.

I had several problems with my teeth after having dc, the lovely hygienist at my dental clinic told me this is not uncommon as hormones can have an effect on gum and tooth health. I have used an electric toothbrush since then and dp bought me a water flosser for Christmas because I'm rubbish at flossing. Don't feel bad, I am sure she has seen much worse!

Electric toothbrushes are a game changer - essential. I also use interdental brushes every night before brushing.