To feel so embarrassed after trip to dentist

I feel you, my teeth are horrendous due to a combination of pregnancy damage and bad acid reflux for a long time. Please don't feel bad, you can improve your teeth as they are.

I also find it very hard to reach my back teeth and I have found a water flosser really helps. I also use normal floss but have a small mouth and big teeth so find the water flosser a good addition. It might be worth a try

Don't beat yourself up. 5yrs without seeing a dentist means that a lot of things would have been missed over those years.

Pregnancy did a right number on my teeth. And that was despite me brushing 2-3 times a day (electric toothbrush at home and a normal toothbrush if I'm out/at work) and flossing...and me seeing a dentist (and a hygienist) regularly! I've got missing teeth (luckily molars) due to no wisdom teeth ever showing up and having baby teeth with no adult successors. But did have to have a molar (that had been root cannalled) pulled out.

Moving forward: good electric toothbrush, floss (my hygienist showed me how to do this and also recommended the interdental brushes).

I'm surprised your dentist couldn't cut you some slack for having had children (a known cause of dental problems, to the point that it's included in your NHS maternity exemption from paying thing!) and for using inhalers - the preventer inhaler is known to dry your mouth out and cause infections and cavities.

Can you find another dentist? She didn't have to speak to you like that. You don't have to accept it.

Inhalers can impact. You should use before cleaning teeth.

I think it's really common to have teeth issues after pregnancy. My dentist suggested it's because you get more acid reflux ect.
Anyway I had similar results to you, not a big fizzy drinks person, regular brushing and then suddenly two fillings. All the work was done either whilst first baby was under 1 or whilst pregnant with the second.(yes, I know how lucky I was to fond an NHS dentist!)
Does sound like yours could work on the dentist equivalent of bedside manners tho. Mines pretty nice but factual about my teeth and tend to believe him as I wasn't paying for it.

See a different dentist in future. The important thing is that you’ve went now, and they can help you get sorted out. I’m sure they’ve seen much worse and they’re not nearly that bad. Some people are just unkind!

This happened to me many years ago, I previously had no issues with my teeth, one filling from childhood, then pregnancy accompanied with sickness everyday and anemia. When I finally made it to the dentist, teeth had apparently taken a battering, dentist made me feel so terrible to the point I didn’t go back, like you I just cried and so embarrassed plus having just had a baby I wasn’t feeling amazing about myself anyway. dentist has a job to educate etc but surely support and not a lecture is more helpful and I do wonder where was the advice and support during pregnancy as a preventative 🤷🏻‍♀️

anyway phobia of dentist began and I avoided them out of embarrassment until I gave myself a good talking to and found a new dentist (private instead of nhs) he has never found issue in my teeth 🤷🏻‍♀️ other than a recommendation of hygienist every 6 months. Don’t be embarrassed or be hard on yourself if needed find a new dentist who has a bit more sympathy xx

I think that the way she spoke to you was completely unnecessary, the same information could have been delivered much more sensitively and you would have gone away inspired to work on your teeth.

All my teeth were filled as soon as they came through - that was the thing then, with my dentist at the time. When I was pregnant, every tooth in my head was loose. So I haven’t had much luck either.

I agree about interdental brushes EVERY SINGLE TIME you brush your teeth - no skipping that stage. Your gums will probably bleed a lot to begin with, but keep going, that will improve. Definitely use an electric toothbrush but take note of the instructions - you use it in a completely different way. Instead of brushing up and down with it, you hold the brush still against each tooth and let the brush do the work for you.

I also use inhalers, and while I have never heard of them impacting on teeth, you absolutely have to rinse after using them or you may get oral thrush.

I bet that by your next check up, if you have done all this, she will see a big difference. And book a hygienist appointment - that may even be a good thing to start with.

Pregnancy can really do a number on your teeth, and I’m sure when DS had inhalers we were told to do it before teeth brushing as it can affect, so need to brush afterwards!
Don’t feel too bad. Get your fillings, get a good clean at the hygienist and start anew.

I was told a toothbrush with a round head to get in around your teeth, one that warns you if you brush too hard, and that beeps at you every 30 seconds, so you are prompted to brush 30 seconds per quadrant (top and bottom, left and right sides). And also use the dental brushes you can push between your teeth at gum level.

Edit: Should have quoted!

Yes, I must say this did occur to me when I read the OP. Of course the dentist isn’t necessarily laying it on thick, but it’s certainly a possibility. I know NHS dentists are hard to find, OP, but if you stand to pay out a lot to have this work done it may well be worth your while getting a second opinion before committing to anything. At the very least I would want to try to find a dentist with better interpersonal skills.

Can anyone recommend an electric toothbrush? I should use one but always get overwhelmed at the choice so end up putting it off. Is there much difference in them?

If you haven't been for a few years you are pretty sure to have a build up of plaque (that can be very difficult to remove by brushing) and need some work, these days Dentists are very hot on oral health and do come across as rather accusatory if your teeth are not in perfect condition. Can you get a hygienist appointment to give your teeth a good clean to start with and then with the electric toothbrush you can keep on top of it.

If you haven’t been to the dentist for over five years and are still using a non electric toothbrush, then I would expect to need some work doing.

That's exactly how I feel about it too

@Mummabear04 well done for actually getting there now. You've got pointers on where to start, try and keep it up and ensure you have the regular check ups. Take dc with you if you're able to as well so they see that the dentist is nothing to be frightened of.

Oral health has such a massive impact on overall health it's really important to keep on top of it.

I haven't been to the dentist since 2004 when I lost crown just before getting married.
I use the smokers toothpaste once a week, although it's not called smokers toothpaste anymore (Eucryl) but it does a great job of getting rid of coffee and red wine stains. It really is great if you want whiter teeth.
My mum was advised to use an electric toothbrush when her gums started receeding
And it worked. Her gums built back up again to where they should have been.

I am never convinced by the dentist argument that it’s all about our teeth care. I didn’t see a dentist for nearly twenty years, have an ordinary toothbrush and brush twice a day. I drink tons of fizzy drinks, eat sweets and snack throughout the day. My teeth and gums are perfect but I don’t think they deserve to be!

I wanted to come on here to say please find an alternative dentists.
my teeth were horrendous, gaps from past NHS removals, sensitive, gums receding. Stained and crooked.
However, I went private and £10k later have the most perfect smile which has taken 2.5yrs to achieve.
My new dentists was the most kindest one you could possibly meet. sensitive to how I felt and did not once make me feel bad for how awful my teeth were.
a combination of which was a result of having 4 children very quickly and eroding enamel and not going to a dentist in my 20.yrs. Now paying for it now though:
So please don’t settle for how this dentist made you feel. It’s hard enough to get the courage to walk through those doors.

Before you jump into committing to loads of work being done, just remember that these are business people trying to earn as much revenue as possible.

Bit unkind of her when she must know that having a baby messes with your teeth! Don’t be embarrassed, it’s done now and you’re getting it sorted. It’s like any medical condition, better to have gone now than putting it off till later.

And I always feel that a dentist is the equivalent of your mum checking under the bed to see if you have cleaned your room properly 😂😂

Honestly it’s no big deal - she’s told you how to rectify it and a treatment plan is in place.
Dental hygiene as improved so much over the years and it’s more focused and indeed somehow more strict.
Its a bit like having an expensive MOT test - no matter how the mechanic says it the issues are the same.
so,maybe this is the time to invest in yourself a little more and look after yourself ‘extra’ once the works done you will feel much better and your teeth will have greater longevity - I myself after religiously going to the dentist at least twice a year was recently seen by a new dentist (my
old one retired) and on the first visit she found underneath a very old filling the first stages of decay so, I had to have the old filling removed,work done and a new filling!!.
And even though the dentist looked lovely she too will have her own issues if not dentally maybe she’s got varicose veins or finger toes or something !! We are not built to be perfect !!

This happened to me. I changed Dentist as I wasn't happy with the one I was with. New Dentist did some x-rays then dropped the bombshell.. I had loads of decay, needed an extraction, fillings, root filling, crown, and a bridge I've had for years has decay under it. Hands up, it was down to poor oral hygeine on my part. Well, I learnt my lesson the hard way. I've had quite a lot of the treatment done, have switched to an electric toothbrush, have regular hygienist visits and use interdental brushes. I was mortified too.

There is an embarrassment, isn't there? And you feel 'dirty' somehow.

Oh well, we live and learn.. sometimes, like in OP case, it's not your 'fault.'

OP I'm sorry, it's horrible to have a bad experience at the dentist and I think we all feel upset as though they're judging us but they really aren't, and I'm sure they see way worse teeth that yours! Please don't feel awful about yourself.

Most people aren't actually taught proper dental hygiene. I always thought I had alright teeth and brushed twice a day (manual) and it was an eye opener to learn as a young adult it isn't really enough and we need to be flossing, mouthwash and ideally electric toothbrush for 2 mins at least (don't think I'd ever actually done a full 2 mins with my manual 🫣) . If you can afford hygienist every 6 months even better but even just those first 3 things consistently will do wonders.

Ok, you yourself noticed a difference in texture in your teeth. But at least you went to a dentist, got the information you needed to get them sorted. 4 fillings is quite a lot so they probably weren't in great condition. Electric toothbrushes are a game changer, I was also told use mouth wash before brushing otherwise it removes the fluoride. Also be careful when you brush your teeth - ideally before breakfast, coffee etc which make your teeth acidic etc.

Maybe she manner could have been a bit more sensitive but it sounds like it has also given you the wake up call you needed.