To feel so embarrassed after trip to dentist

Probably has MIH if it’s front teeth and first molars affected . https://www.kch.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/pl-1074.1-molar-incisor-hypomineralisation-mih-in-children.pdf

MIH is caused by even a mild illness in late pregnancy or early childhood that affects the enamel on first adult incisors and molars .

Good diet and using fluoride toothpaste , together with fissure sealants help most , although in severe cases more treatment may be necessary. Cosmetic treatment (private) can be done when child is over 18.

No babies do not take calcium out of teeth , that was disproved in the 1940s and is an old wives tale.

Bad gum and oral health can affect the developing baby and make eg risk of miscarriage higher, also gums are more sensitive to even a bit of plaque so gum disease is affected by pregnancy and breast feeding.

what is a problem is being sick or having acid reflux , and grazing on food , sipping sweetened coffee, tea, drinks during the day . This causes decay .

I do think some dentists seem absolutely convinced that anyone who doesn't have perfect teeth is somehow abusing them with tons of sugar. My eldest dd is told off every time she goes to the dentist because the enamel on her teeth is so weak and. they're not pearly white. She's always accused of eating too much sugar, drinking too many fizzy drinks etc. She doesn't eat sugar, never drinks fizzy drinks and has weak enamel on her teeth since she got her adult teeth. No dentist has actually ever been able to tell me why!

Thanks so much! I'll pass this on. Mwah!

No , you should rinse out your mouth with cold water because the inhaler hits the back of the mouth first and medication can remain there and cause thrush . However the inhalers do not cause decay . Dry mouth can make you more susceptible but inhalers are not implicated in decay.

Do you think you could cope with a water flosser? I use mine with Luke warm water and got told by my hygienist to floss before brushing because it helps loosen things up

Dentistry in the U.K. is the most highly regulated in the world. There are over 59 bodies that inspect dental practices and you are more likely to be sued , as a dentist , in the U.K. than anywhere else in the world.

The GDC , the body that regulates all dentists is more feared than anywhere other regulator and dentists can be struck off for a lot less than making up work to do. Many dentists , at some time in their career , will be subject to GDC investigations and even though most are found not guilty the stress , anxiety over what can be years of investigations can take their toll , including suicide . https://www.dentalprotection.org/uk/articles/urgent-reform-urged-as-dental-professionals-under-investigation-report-suicidal-thoughts-and-quitting-dentistry

First and foremost dentist have a professional obligation to put patients interests in front of their own. Failure to do so will result in them being struck off.

However put a patient in front of three dentists and you will get four, equally valid , treatment plans. The line between filling a tooth and not can be very fine and a matter of judgement.

I couldn't agree more. Its definitely genetics. I eat like buddy the elf, drink red wine, I rarely floss. My teeth aren't stained, gums are text book healthy and at nearly 40 I've just had my first filling on a teeny tiny cavity. My partner is 35, looks after his teeth and he has the teeth I should have, stained (albeit not heavily) extractions, crowns and multiple fillings

Pregnancy and breast feeding have a negative effect on teeth so it’s likely this. Look for a tooth paste with hydroxyapatite (Biorepair is good and now available in boots) and begin oil pulling once a day also. A water pik would be great also! If you are not in any pain give yourself a couple months with this new routine and then get a second opinion. 4 fillings seems excessive and dentistry is big business.

Decay is usually an airway problem not a cleaning problem. The 4 minutes brushing in a 24 hour period is not going to prevent decay on its own.
If you do lots of running with your mouth open, you're at high risk of decay.

I feel for you, that was not okay to make you feel like a dental failure. I've been there, shamed for my teeth, gums.
Today I wouldn't allow it, it's part of their job to educate us on how to care for our teeth and if they are not educating you don't accept their judgement.
Your dentist has definitely seen worse, I have most of my teeth filled, missing four and I do my best.
I had my first filling at 12, it hurt so bad, I have a mouthful of fillings and get regular checkups now after finding a kind dentist who taught me about my dental health and understood the lack of education our parents had.
I was reared on sugary cereals, ribena for lunch, all the penny sweets, toffee bars, fizzy drinks, homemade baking, sugar on weetabix from the time when parents didn't know better. Now there's school education on these foods, different food labels and a lot of education.
I had dental problems in pregnancy with my gums, I smoked for years before that, took medication regularly which all affected my dental health and my dentist explained this to me.
I've had dental appointments where I came out feeling like a failure and felt like there was no fix but now I know there are lots of fixes for everything and maybe that dentist should have had that conversation with you.
I'm sorry you had that experience and I would find another dentist with understanding and compassion for their patients.
My current dentist also has a mouthful of beautiful pearly whites.
Best of luck.

Lots recommending electric toothbrush but I hate mine, the sensory from buzzing etc puts me off so then I don’t use it. Is there anything else I can do other than suck it up!

I hate going to the dentist, my teeth ache before I go and I dread bad news/being told off. Ridiculous really. I went this week and my gums have gone from 2/3s to 1/0s now this could be false hope from a new dentist, but I have been using a water pick, new electric toothbrush and tape.. I'm hoping this is a thing and gums can improve? I have also started using hygenist which is very expensive but makes a real difference to the colour of my teeth. Don't give up OP and don't be too hard on yourself.

you are like my DH- completely lucky you got good genes. I reckon it is something in your saliva that makes you less susceptible. I, on the only had, develop plaque just from smelling food! 😂

Honestly OP don’t stress. Just get it dealt with and move on. their job is to sort you out not judge you and to be fair they make money from people like you so honestly just move on.

I now go to the hygienist twice a year and make sure my children do too. Whilst I brush like mad with an electric brush, they always tell me I’m missing bits. Haven’t had a filling since I started doing this and kids have never had one either.

“Long story short is that the dentist seemed shocked about the state of my teeth. She even asked me if I brush them!!! I am still so embarrassed about it. She said I must be struggling to brush my back teeth, the sruface of my teeth seem corroded?”

Doesn't actually sound like the dentist has said anything wrong unless she was laughing in your face whilst telling you which I’m sure she didn’t. It’s her job to tell you about your teeth and she did. Your teeth are obviously not in great shape so her asking you if you brush isn’t unreasonable because I can guarantee she sees loads of patients that don’t brush!
The fact that you mention your dentist was gorgeous, blonde and slim shows this is more about you feeling insecure than anything else

My teeth have been crumbling since kids and now per-menopause. I had to have one of the back ones pulled a few months ago 😭.
electric toothbrushes are a game changer and when we tools my eldest to a hygienist pre-braces I learned so much from her on how to properly brush teeth. 6 seconds per tooth all in all! Includes the very back ones too.
my teeth look and feel much cleaner now x
all we can do is move forwards with new knowledge - any maybe change dentist! X

I would find a different dentist if you are in a position to. What they are suggesting sounds sensible, but you need to have confidence in your dentist’s knowledge. I would not be happy with someone who is not talking about the effects of hormone changes on oral health as part of the wider picture. It’s their job. Someone with a better bedside manner will also put you more at ease.

My dentist made me feel absolutely shit about my teeth - I was convinced I was heading straight for dentures and it caused me huge amounts of worry. Then I had an appointment with the hygienist and went in very apologetically, warning her about my awful teeth and she said they were fine for my age, she could see I took care of them and they were in pretty good shape. I was furious with the dentist for the unnecessary worry she caused me. I really don't trust them at all and would like to move to an another practice but don't like my chances of finding another NHS opening.

Totally understandable that you feel embarrassed but it ISNT you. I also brush twice a day (and floss, and use an antibacterial mouthwash). I do like a fizzy drink but try and use straws as recommended. My previous dentist was lovely and explained that medications I’m on can cause dry mouth which it good for teeth, as well as how vommiting due to my condition didn’t help and that my medical condition did have known tooth issues related to it. Recently seen a new dentist (same surgery) who was horrified by my teeth and said I was “leaving them to get worse” (I’d seen her two months earlier! And I’d tried to get the 2 fillings she wanted booked in but it was a three month wait and they had actually cancelled the appointment! That’s why they got worse!) now I have 3 fillings and a tooth removal. She kept going on about how I’d “already lost two teeth”… my wisdom teeth! 😂 honestly take what they say with a pinch of salt. Tooth health can be genetic, as long as you know you’re taking care then just tell them to go do one in your head each time x

There's a reason you get free dental care after pregnancy. Babies take your calcium and it can be very hard on your teeth.

Mine were great pre children. Lots of problems afterwards but calmed down again now ((hopefully).

My wisdom teeth have also squashed mine together and I now have to use the TeePee silicone picks. I think these have really helped and have requested a water flosser for my birthday (exciting!)

Please don’t feel bad about not going to the dentist as it sounds like you’re going to do the right thing from now on. After having my last child (who is now in their thirties) I was told I needed 3 fillings and that my gums were in a bad way. I’m now in my sixties and my teeth are not perfect or very white but they’re definitely healthy and all mine!

One tip I can give you with the electric brush, is to try out different brush heads, if needed, as everyone’s mouths and gums are slightly different. Make sure you change the head every three months.

I've always had good teeth, but have struggled in the last few years after being diagnosed with silent reflux, the acid can dissolve tooth enamel. I have always used an electric toothbrush, but have found using a water flosser (waterpik), really helpful as my teeth are quite close together and then adding more toothpaste once I have done.

Yanbu. I had a similar dentist experience when I was also in a vulnerable very difficult time in my life and I cried in the car on the way home. The way the dentist spoke to me made me feel awful.

I had never had a filling nor any problems with my teeth until I had children (age 34) and had to have 3 fillings in the aftermath of 2 DC in 2 years (and this was with an electric toothbrush and the same level of oral hygiene plus dentist visits & hygienist cleaning on at least an annual basis). I was horrified! I had changed to a new dentist too and did wonder if she was just finding problems to bring in more money while I was in the period of free treatment on the NHS.
10 years later, I've had no more cavities or problems. I can only put it down to either the dcs sapping all the calcium out of my body - or else the 2nd (and 3rd) breakfast and extra snacks when breastfeeding (I suspect it wasn't my original theory of an unscrupulous dentist). Hopefully it's just a blip, OP, and once you get these problems fixed there won't be any more.

My dentist told me that post partum (and the few years after) mums teeth are often neglected and in poor condition.
Take it as a compliment; you look well put together and she was surprised that you need fillings. I grind my teeth so my back teeth are cracked and have fillings. I consider myself clean and presentable.