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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to work full time even though DH wants me to?

507 replies

Arabella3 · 21/02/2025 11:23

I think I’m 100% in the right here so asking for validation 😂

DH and I had a baby DD last year and I’ve reduced my hours to do a four day week. DD is in nursery for those days. No family nearby.

It’s emerged that DH is expecting me to go back to five days a week in a year or so. I have no intention of doing this until DD, and hopefully a little sibling, are at school.

Even with my pay cut I pay 60% of the household bills. We have SC who are with us most weekends and all holidays, so my Wednesday off is the only routine time I get with DD. We can’t afford to save much or do fancy holidays after my pay cut but I don’t care, I’d rather have the time with DD.

AIBU?

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 21/02/2025 11:31

Why are you covering 60% of the living costs when you only "owe" your share and half of dds share? He should be covering half of dds share and 100% of the costs incurred from school living with you (even pt).

SnoopySantaPaws · 21/02/2025 11:31

Are you paying 60% of the household bills? If anything, he should be paying more because you have his children at the weekends? If money is tight, why is he not trying to earn more as he only pays 40%?

PumpkinPie2016 · 21/02/2025 11:28

I don't think your husband is necessarily being unreasonable here. He isn't saying it has to be now, he has suggested in a year or so. Potentially your daughter could be 2.5 years and a second child around a year old depending on age gaps.

Maybe he is feeling the pressure with a reduced household income? Fancy holidays aren't an essential but being able to save a bit can be massively helpful if something unexpected happens.

Maybe he would like time with dd? I assume it wouldn't be possible/acceptable for him to reduce his hours?

What did you discuss pre children about this?

I think a proper discussion is needed here, so that he can explain his reasons, you can explain yours and then hopefully come to a mutual agreement.

LadyLucyWells · 21/02/2025 11:27

No, I wouldn't do it either. Make the most of this precious time with your dd. That is far mor important that fancy holidays and savings at this point in your lives.

VenusClapTrap · 21/02/2025 11:25

Yanbu. You won’t get this time back with your kids and it’s only one day a week. You’re already paying more than your share.

BlueMum16 · 21/02/2025 11:25

Why does he want you work work full time?

Comedycook · 21/02/2025 11:25

Im going to take a wild guess that you also do the majority of household chores? Am I right?

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