Aibu to drop racist student

So long as she is paying for the service I couldn't give a nuns left tit.

It's not our job to 'educate people'. She's a grown adult, she's not stupid she's just racist. If you dislike being around her enough to lose the money, fine. But don't waste of your breath trying to make a cat into a dog.

I’m your typical blue-eyed blonde middle-aged woman. For some reason people feel comfortable sharing their racist rhetoric with me. I cut them dead by showing photos of my brother. My father’s side was French/Portuguese/Jamaican. I didn’t inherit the melanin, but he did. Every divisive comment makes my skin crawl, be it racist, homophobic, right wing, you name it. I just can’t continue to dialogue with people like that.
I would let her know that you can’t continue to listen to those comments. I do wonder if her intention is to appear “cool” rather than openly racist by using those very outdated (horrible) terms. I would ask her why she does it and see how she justifies it.
”Julie, why do you call German people Krauts?”
Listen to her answer and say “Well I’d really prefer it if you didn’t please. It’s really quite racist.”
This is you gently putting her on notice.

I dont think "generational" can be used as an excuse anymore. Those people were our grandparents and they're all mostly dead now. Pensioners these days are my parents age. If they're racist it's because they are racists. Nothing to do with their generation.

This being the case, no, I wouldn't drop her. It sounds like she is speaking in what is just a very natural way for her given her upset when you challenged her observation.

Language is a funny thing, but right now there is, at least among middle class progressive people, this idea that using the right language is deeply indicative of attitudes like racism.

I can assure you that is not the case. People, similarly to this lady, can use the wrong (ie, not acceptable to middle class sensibilities) language and have no ill will towards those individuals. And there will be people who use all the right words and seem to have all the right opinions, and yet are in fact deeply bigoted.

Even the comment about the people on the front of the book - is she wrong to notice that? I would suggest that when we make a point of people not being allowed to comment on patterns like that, which they observe and are real, we are hiding something, and setting traps too, for those who don't have the right background that allows them to recognize it is a thing not to be mentioned.

I don't think it's really your place to try and correct her either.

Of course it's not generational. My mother would be over 100 if she were still alive and she would never have spoken like that. I have a close friend who's 90 and she wouldn't speak like that either.

And the "oh she doesn't mean anything negative" excuses here are absurd. No mature adult in 2024 actually thinks that calling people frogs or krauts is a compliment, they just don't see a problem with calling them something negative and assume you either won't see a problem either or won't want to rock the boat and say something. It's disengenous to pretend that those haven't consistently been terms used to dehumanize and express disgust for French and German people during times of conflict, and a pensioner will know that even better than a teen or young adult. This isn't even like using coloured vs black (or debates on queer/fag/gay/dyke) where the language that's considered respectful or offensive has undergone dramatic shifts and disagreements in recent decades.

I think you have three perfectly reasonable options and you should do whichever works best for your comfort and finances:

1. Drop her as a student
2. Make it clear calmly but clearly that certain language isn't ok with you
3. Ignore it

That's the one I was thinking of too!!!!!

My nan is still alive and really looks like Liz Smith too 🤣

Such nonsense - I was a tutor as well, ages ago, as a student, in no-pc times and not once did any of my pupils mention race, nationality or suchlike. They were too interested to use every minute of my time. A brief - hi, how are you? And we get on with a lesson. End of lesson, out of the door, fast. What a weird post.

I’m mixed race so I’m more used to racism and I don’t think I drop her. She sounds harmless enough. To some degree I find it quite interesting. I’m also aware that carers of all cultures in care homes are trained to deal with these kinds of attitudes as they’re not uncommon in elderly people.

Ah, now I'm thinking of Nanna in The Royle Family, sitting on Barbara's kitchen counter whilst getting pissed at baby David's christening party.

"Ehm Mary...what is it they do exactly?".

Your original post says you want to drop her, so why do you need the permission and opinions of strangers? I sense a tad of virtue signalling here.

Frog and Kraut - seriously? Even you admit Kraut is a post war slur barely uttered in decades and yet her mother is alive and still active in far right politics! How old are these women? I would class 'Karen and Gammon' more offensive, also 'terf' and yet they are bandied about without an eyebrow raise. I tell couldn't get over excited about the use of gayboy either - I used to work with a lot of gay men and they are using a hell of a lot stronger to describe each other.

It's your business, you make the decisions and if you don't like her bin her off but you don't need a bunch of strangers to give yourself an inflated moral high ground for few outdated words.

My nan would have probably pushed anyone down the stairs if they hurt her grandchildren, her husband included.

Joking aside, he would've been about 98 now if he'd still been alive, but he did stop his disgusting vitriol once he knew he had a gay man in his family.

Well you can't be all that offended by the terms she is using, if you were then you'd have spared us all the misery of having to read them. To simply tell us they were outdated and racist would have painted an adequate picture.

Should we be looking out for another "my extra-curricular tutor just dropped me for no reason" thread?