Aibu to drop racist student

No adult however old, can possibly have escaped the knowledge that these type of comments are offensive. Besides which, she has the ability to reason so should be able to work out for herself these comments are wrong, if she had decency. She isn't simply making racist remarks because she knows no better, she is making them because she is racist. Up to you if you want to teach her knowing that.

Personally I would drop her. Her bigotry isn't targeted at just one group. Sorry but it isn't generational now. Those generations have passed unless you are telling me she is about to turn 100. Anyone using such slurs now are doing so knowingly. If these phrases are in their every day parlance it says plenty about them and those they usually associate with.

And yes of course businesses can choose who they do business with in the same way we can ask our pensions advisers not to invest in certain types of businesses, in the same way we can choose to buy ethical products etc. In the same way some professionals won't act for tobacco companies. As employees your employer makes those choices. You can then decide whether to work for that employer.

However as a self employer person or business owner we can choose not to do business with bigots when we are fully aware that is what they are.

It's a generational thing and you have already said she is only using non pc language. Gosh some of the sanctimonius responses on here, exactly what is wrong with society now! Throw an elderly person under the bus for being elderly effectively!

Early signs of dementia? It's just you mentioned she looked embarrassed.

Honestly I wouldn't drop her. I'd continue to take her money (and put the price up a bit) and every single time she says something out of order I'd challenge it. Leaving her in her bigoted silo is never going to change anything. The only way people change is via education and challenge.

Challenge her? Say, Margeret, you can't say that about gay people these days! You'll upset someone!
Keep it light, see if she changes.

I remember saying coloured describing someone once, and I was pulled up about it. Never said it again

"Kraut" and "Frog" are certainly slurs against German and French people, but how are they racist? French and German aren't races.

I'd call her out on using these terms, OP, but that's all I'd do.

Maybe think about what your price would be to put up with it. £500 per month? £750? £1000?

Tell her your prices are unfortunately having to go up and this is the new rate. Win either way

I am 70 and have never used that kind of language in my life neither did my parents born in 1925. People should stop using age as an excuse. Yes, racism was rife in the 70s but it wasn't the dark ages. Not every one was racist and those that found this language acceptable then have had time to move on.

I'd give her one last chance and it she continues drop her. There is no excuse particularly if you are teaching her in your own home.

All of this. My mum is 86. She would use all these terms. We just say ' You can't say that anymore mum. You need to say XYZ' . We'll all be old one day ( I hope) and the young people will be saying just the same to us.

She’s using ignorant and outdated terms, rather than actually expressing racist views from what you say. I have a couple of lovely aunts in their 70s who use ‘coloured’ all the time and are genuinely baffled as to why it’s offensive. They are not racist, it’s a generational thing. Presumably your student has been around people all her life who used such terms and she’s never been challenged on it.

The best approach, as others have suggested, is just to calmly address the terms when they are used. “Can we just say French please, ‘frog’ isn’t acceptable these days Marjorie”, etc. She’ll probably be mortified and get the message. If people aren’t challenged on their language, they will infer that others concur and assume it’s ok to carry on.

"Kraut" is not "just a nickname". It's a derogatory term used to refer to Germans at a very dark time in history. She might as well call Brahms or today's Germans "Nazis". The book comment was also completely racist. I'd give her one warning before dropping her OP.

Complaining about a book having “coloureds” on the front isn’t only using racist language, its having an issue with the existence of people who are not white.

I wouldn’t drop her unless she continued to use offensive language after you made it clear you didn’t like it.

She was clearly upset and hopefully embarrassed when you called out her inappropriate comment so I think she will be receptive to similar strategies. You have an opportunity to help her here.

I would probably make my point in a relatively light hearted way as an entry point to the conversation, but then make it clear I didn’t like it. With mock horror, ‘You can’t say ‘k…t any more (name) people find it offensive!’ Then with a more serious expression, ‘I find it offensive actually.’

Who's being weirdly hostile?

Some people are simply reminding OP of her own words where she said that this person is otherwise pleasant, empathetic and kind. So she's not irredeemable, and there's no reason for OP to lose the money. All she has to do is express discomfort with the students wording and point out that it's not acceptable these days, and she doesn't want to hear it.

OMG!The ageism in this thread!

Anyway, just drop her if you can afford it. Personally, I would feel way more uncomfortable with clients still using X (Twitter) than old language.

I used to have a cleaner who would make racist remarks. She used to tell me horrible anecdotes about telling people to "get back to where they came from" which I would hear in stunned silence. Of course I stopped employing her.

My DH is Chinese so we are a mixed race family.

It sometimes seemed as if she had not noticed this

It's not generational. My parents were born before WW2 and they or their friends would never have used language like that. Maybe time to gently call her out.

I would just tell her not to make those comments around you or you will have to let her go. It's definitely a generational thing.

Just on the word Kraut - there is a music genre called krautrock (aka kosmiche Musik), the term is still used. Not sure if you can get sheet music for any tracks though?

Not acceptable - yes, If I were you I'd say something! It might be useful to have a written policy you could point all students to - to head this off in future.

(NB threads like this are getting targeted by bad-faith posters, if you were wondering why some of the replies are so weirdly hostile and defensive of the poor old lady who couldn't know better.)

I think it’s generational. She’s liberal in her attitudes, in that she hasn’t been nasty about the “gayboys” etc. It’s just that she’s using old-fashioned terms that she doesn’t realise are now considered to be offensive.

That. Just gently correct her and get on with the lesson.

I'd she was actively racist and homophobic it would be another matter. But she's not. She's a pleasant person using outdated terms, which can easily be corrected. And it seems that she's open to learning, given her embarrassment.

So you can dump her, in which case she'll carry on doing it, it you can have a quiet chat, and spare others those words.

Really? You HAD to read them did you? Who was forcing you? Wow I've seen it all now! If OP hadn't included quotes everyone would've said they couldn't judge if they didn't know exactly what was said. If reading those terms has offended you then I suggest MN isn't the place for you.

Oh come on. Age in this situation is absolutely relevant.

From the examples mentioned, it doesn't sound she really feels badly about the other groups, she is just naming them in a strange way.
Maybe she just sees you a bit too friendly and feels she doesn't have to adjust her language to the 21st century around you, because she doesn't have to do it "with mates".

You can drop her, or, you can start with telling her it makes you uncomfortable, and see what happens. If you don't like the reaction, you can drop her later and be sure about it.