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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the nanny shouldn't have been drinking alcohol?

83 replies

Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 20/02/2025 22:07

Went for a meal tonight and on the next table were two small children and someone who later said she was their nanny (not grandmother) and only had them three days a week. She was drinking beer, quite large ones, and joking that she was so stressed on the days she had them that she needed the alcohol. She clearly didn't think she was doing anything wrong! I'm afraid I was well and truly judgy! What do others think?

OP posts:
Bearbookagainandagain · 21/02/2025 12:13

No one should be drinking whilst at work, whether you're job is being a nanny or a an office worker.

But the reality is you've no idea who she was and what was really happening.
1 beer with a meal is fine, if she was indeed a nanny and had been paid to watch my kids, I would be more annoyed about the screens.

FrenchandSaunders · 21/02/2025 12:10

10 pints of Stella then you might have a point … couple of lagers, who cares 🤷🏼‍♀️

MumChp · 21/02/2025 12:06

None of your business.
Tbh I wouldn't mind our babysitter having a pint with dinner as long as she isn't drivning home.

Kbroughton · 21/02/2025 11:58

Weird thread in which you seem to be asking everyone to join in and judge her rather than asking for advice. I don't think it's appropriate to judge anyone even first hand, but certainly not electronically over the internet. You can see a snapshot of someone's life and get an impression which may be entirely incorrect. You obviously weren't concerned enough at the time to take action, so presumably not that bad.

Archive · 21/02/2025 11:37

Log it with 101, just in case.

WildCherryBlossom · 21/02/2025 11:36

Meh, I wouldn't bat an eyelid. One of my DCs was once invited out to a restaurant by a friend. Same sort of age and time of day, family friendly restaurant. The mum messaged me beforehand and said she might have a beer or a glass of wine with her meal and was I ok with that? I thought it was very sweet that she asked and it didn't bother me at all (she wasn't driving).

I hope there wasn't someone at the next table judging her!

Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 21/02/2025 11:25

Curtains - yes that's exactly what I did 🙄

OP posts:
CurtainsCurtain · 21/02/2025 11:22

Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 21/02/2025 10:39

We were eating at about 6pm so not too late for children.

Definitely a paid nanny. The children were watching screens and they had these cases which looked really good so she noticed me looking as she took a sip of her beer and hence the alcohol comment.

Definitely alcohol, she said so herself.

No, nothing to do with me but as I said in my OP I did judge her for drinking when she was doing her paid job whilst looking after small children (aged 3/4 at a guess).

And presumably you read her a lecture on her boozy irresponsibility, and the whole restaurant burst into admiring applause?

Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 21/02/2025 11:21

JC03745 · 20/02/2025 23:29

So what did YOU do OP after this interaction???

Finished having dinner?!

OP posts:
Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 21/02/2025 11:20

ImDoneOnceAndForAll · 20/02/2025 22:50

Was she on her own with just the children?

Yes she was

OP posts:
Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 21/02/2025 10:39

We were eating at about 6pm so not too late for children.

Definitely a paid nanny. The children were watching screens and they had these cases which looked really good so she noticed me looking as she took a sip of her beer and hence the alcohol comment.

Definitely alcohol, she said so herself.

No, nothing to do with me but as I said in my OP I did judge her for drinking when she was doing her paid job whilst looking after small children (aged 3/4 at a guess).

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 21/02/2025 00:06

Most people would definitely judge this adversely, unless they were a bit of a lush themselves.

Titasaducksarse · 21/02/2025 00:03

I think you were having the piss taken out of you!

HRTQueen · 21/02/2025 00:03

I would be judging a nanny who I had paid to look after my children and was drinking and maybe she looks after them some evenings too

when is it ok to drink when you are working unless it’s taking clients out or toasting someone’s wedding etc at the end of the working day

op most people would judge this

ThatsNotMyTeen · 20/02/2025 23:58

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 20/02/2025 23:23

How nosey were you being for this conversation to happen and for you to know how much she was drinking?

This!

BlondiePortz · 20/02/2025 23:53

I woud say the company you were with is not too interesting

PoopingAllTheWay2 · 20/02/2025 23:51

How do you know OP?

LynetteScavo · 20/02/2025 23:51

Well, no, no one should be drinking on the job. If you're being paid to work, don't drink.

JC03745 · 20/02/2025 23:29

So what did YOU do OP after this interaction???

sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/02/2025 23:26

What's a quite large beer?

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 20/02/2025 23:23

How nosey were you being for this conversation to happen and for you to know how much she was drinking?

TY78910 · 20/02/2025 23:22

I too don't understand how you came about to have that conversation!

And why a nanny would be out in a restaurant in the evening (assuming as you said tonight) unless you're in a country where culturally you just eat out.

My kids refer to their grandma as nanny.

However if it was a nanny then I wouldn't be happy with her drinking if they were my kids and she was 'on the job'.

Then again back to my first point I don't understand how you came about that conversation, but it's nobody's business 😂

BrendaSmall · 20/02/2025 23:16

She could have been joking and drinking shandy or 0% beer!

RickiRaccoon · 20/02/2025 23:14

Odd that a nanny would take 2 kids out for a meal at night by herself. Maybe she did mean she was their nana? Someone being paid to do a job shouldn't be drinking.

CurtainsCurtain · 20/02/2025 23:13

I don’t understand how you ended up in conversation with someone in a restaurant who told you she was a nanny to the small children she was with — it would also seem fairly unusual for a nanny to be a restaurant at night with her charges …?