Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nanny shouldn't have been drinking alcohol?

83 replies

Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 20/02/2025 22:07

Went for a meal tonight and on the next table were two small children and someone who later said she was their nanny (not grandmother) and only had them three days a week. She was drinking beer, quite large ones, and joking that she was so stressed on the days she had them that she needed the alcohol. She clearly didn't think she was doing anything wrong! I'm afraid I was well and truly judgy! What do others think?

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 21/02/2025 13:46

WildCherryBlossom · 21/02/2025 12:53

@BlueSilverCats I'm pretty sure some of my teachers did nip to the pub at lunchtime back in the day

Friday lunch in the pub was a regular thing in the 80s and 90s although, personally, I didn't drink alcohol on these occasions. We also had glass of wine with school Christmas dinner on school premises shock horror! My Head Teacher in the 80s kept a wine box in the staffroom fridge. I never witnessed anyone the worse for wear.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/02/2025 13:43

Idonthavemytoolsmycloak · 21/02/2025 10:39

We were eating at about 6pm so not too late for children.

Definitely a paid nanny. The children were watching screens and they had these cases which looked really good so she noticed me looking as she took a sip of her beer and hence the alcohol comment.

Definitely alcohol, she said so herself.

No, nothing to do with me but as I said in my OP I did judge her for drinking when she was doing her paid job whilst looking after small children (aged 3/4 at a guess).

Sometimes sarcasm can go over people's heads.

cockywoof · 21/02/2025 13:40

I wouldn't be happy if someone I was paying to look after my children was drinking whilst on duty (unless they had specifically asked and I'd agreed it).

However, I find this so obviously something that would be considered unacceptable that I would actually assume it was alcohol free beer and a joke, or the person was actually the children's parent/relative and it was a joke. I can't believe that otherwise a nanny would draw attention to the drink.

This assumes you're in the UK. There may be other countries where this would be more acceptable.

LionME · 21/02/2025 13:18

MumChp · 21/02/2025 12:56

Did the nanny had any problems doing her job?

Show quote history

Hmm…. Does your job allow you to drink WHILST working? At your desk maybe? No? Why is that if you can still do your job properly?

LionME · 21/02/2025 13:17

@Idonthavemytoolsmycloak I agree with you.
In no place work would it be ok to drink alcohol whilst working. Could very easily lead to being dismissed on the spot.
She was working. She shouldn’t be drinking.

The fact she is working with chikdren and parents drink too in those circumstances is not here nor there. Parents arent working!

littleluncheon · 21/02/2025 13:16

If she was in a restaurant with the children after 6pm she was probably joking about being 'the nanny'.

KookyPeachViewer · 21/02/2025 13:05

There must be more to it if she isn't their granny then auntie playing nanny and saying it sarcastically.

Ilikeadrink14 · 21/02/2025 13:03

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 21/02/2025 12:26

Mind your own fucking business!!!!

Is it necessary to be so rude? People like you really let the side down. Honestly!

whatonearthisgoingonnow · 21/02/2025 12:59

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 20/02/2025 22:49

I think this is none of our business.

and that's exactly what makes it interesting.

literally nothing on mumsnet is anyone else's business

MumChp · 21/02/2025 12:56

Littlebittiredoflife · 21/02/2025 12:55

Safeguarding is everyone's business.

Show quote history

Did the nanny had any problems doing her job?

Littlebittiredoflife · 21/02/2025 12:55

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 20/02/2025 22:49

I think this is none of our business.

Safeguarding is everyone's business.

MumChp · 21/02/2025 12:53

BlueSilverCats · 21/02/2025 12:43

@MumChp why not? Why can't a teacher have a pint with their fish and chips during lunch hour (if they get to have it)? After all, that teacher is definitely not driving those kids anywhere.

Because they are employed with a no go to alcohol and accepted this.
If parents say no pint or glass of wine at dinner with kids the babysitter has a no go too.

WildCherryBlossom · 21/02/2025 12:53

@BlueSilverCats I'm pretty sure some of my teachers did nip to the pub at lunchtime back in the day

Digdongdoo · 21/02/2025 12:51

Did you watch her drink multiple beers? Or did she slowly sip on one for the duration of a meal?

LoveBluey · 21/02/2025 12:50

@BlueSilverCats you can't compare. A nanny has a different much more intimate relationship with you than other professions. They become like part of the family so I'd have different expectations.

BlueSilverCats · 21/02/2025 12:43

@MumChp why not? Why can't a teacher have a pint with their fish and chips during lunch hour (if they get to have it)? After all, that teacher is definitely not driving those kids anywhere.

MumChp · 21/02/2025 12:41

BlueSilverCats · 21/02/2025 12:39

I'm sure you'd feel the same if it was your child's teacher, your doctor, solicitor, contractor etc and they were drinking on the job, right?

Show quote history

You can't compare.

I wouldn't mind our babysitter ti have a pint or a glass of wine at dinner with our children if she wasn't drivning. I would be happy to pay it with the meal.

BlueSilverCats · 21/02/2025 12:39

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 21/02/2025 12:26

Mind your own fucking business!!!!

I'm sure you'd feel the same if it was your child's teacher, your doctor, solicitor, contractor etc and they were drinking on the job, right?

BlueSilverCats · 21/02/2025 12:38

Was she on the job? If yes, completely unacceptable, just like in any other job. If she wasn't, though I can hardly imagine a nanny so stressed by her charges that she HAS to drink would volunteer to spend time with them, then meh.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 21/02/2025 12:38

Not only have I had a glass of wine with dinner when out with the kids, I have charged it to my bosses account.

And you know what, they have given absolute permission for that because they trust me to be sensible.

Butt out

Growlybear83 · 21/02/2025 12:35

If she wasn't driving, it wouldn't worry me if a nanny was having a couple of beers with a meal. I wouldn't be happy with children using iPads etc in a restaurant, no matter who was supervising them.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 21/02/2025 12:26

Mind your own fucking business!!!!

ItGhoul · 21/02/2025 12:26

Not your kids, not your nanny, not your business.

Ponoka7 · 21/02/2025 12:24

I'd be ok with a Nanny drinking to the level me or my DD would, when I had my children, or Grandchildren. I wouldn't allow anymore than a bit animated. None at all if driving. I wouldn't like the comment about stress. I wasn't bought up to think of alcohol as a stress reducer. Everyone around me drank because they enjoyed it. We are a family that allow under 16 drinking with food on celebration. We also often go out and not drink at all.

Millysmum87 · 21/02/2025 12:22

I wouldn't like drinking while working if I had a nanny. Nor them listening to music through AirPods instead of interacting with my DC which is what I see often around here. 🙈