Page 9 | When a relative bites your child

Roberta2020 · 2025-02-20T15:27:16+00:00

I don't want to delve into details, because I am still angry about it. Let's just say that a relative on my husband's side bit my child to teach them 'how it feels when you bite your brother'. I was raised to be respectful of elders, so obviously I said nothing and consoled my screaming child, but since then I have felt unable to leave my child alone around that relative. The relative in question, after saying 'I did it for his own good', changed their tune and started saying they did not do it in front of my husband. My child is adamant he was bitten. I trust my child. I am not willing to leave him alone with that relative again. Am I being unreasonable? Am I being too much? Should I give them the benefit of doubt?

SerafinasGoose · 21/02/2025 19:06

Snugglemonkey · 20/02/2025 22:31

I have this kind of response. Yes, sometimes abuse reaches grotesque levels. That does not mean biting a child once is ok. That us still an abusive action.

Show quote history

I've never understood the reasoning that abusive behaviour not not qualify as abusive behaviour because someone else has done worse.

If that's an effort at minimising this behaviour then it has the opposite effect to the one intended.

'Barbaric' is not too strong a word for adults biting children. It's grotesque, not to mention criminal, behaviour. That it happened 20, 50 or 70 years ago makes it no less grotesque. An abuser is an abuser: this has no concession to generation.

PC7102 · 21/02/2025 19:05

YANBU. I would have flipped! My son used to bite me when he was teething, did I ever bite him? No because it is abuse!

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvv · 21/02/2025 19:03

This thread is mental - people BITE THEIR KIDS?!

Cornflakes44 · 21/02/2025 19:02

needapokerface · 20/02/2025 15:40

My daughter bit me on the fleshy part of my boob when she was about 2, a full set of teeth marks were visible for hours and I bit her on her arm not as hard as she bit me but enough to know it hurts.

It was the 1st and last time she ever bit anyone.

Old school is sometimes the best way, as they have no idea how much it hurts till they experience it.

This is appalling. It's not old school is assault of a toddler,

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/02/2025 19:00

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:54

🤣 no. That wasn’t my argument lol so don’t twist my words lol 😂

Show quote history

Then why bring it up other than to try and justify people hurting children?

WorkItUpYourBangle · 21/02/2025 18:58

needapokerface · 20/02/2025 15:40

My daughter bit me on the fleshy part of my boob when she was about 2, a full set of teeth marks were visible for hours and I bit her on her arm not as hard as she bit me but enough to know it hurts.

It was the 1st and last time she ever bit anyone.

Old school is sometimes the best way, as they have no idea how much it hurts till they experience it.

You're a child abuser and you assaulted your baby daughter. They have no capacity to understand what they did at that age. You could have pretended to cry or even said a stern no and been angry. Biting a little baby to teach them a lesson is absolutely disgusting behaviour.

Thisismyusername3 · 21/02/2025 18:58

Wow this thread is wild, I cannot believe that some people think it’s acceptable for an adult to bite children!!! 😮

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvv · 21/02/2025 18:58

WTF, I thought a relative would be a 3 year old cousin (still a poor behaviour, of course)! But sounds like you are talking about a grown up? They would be out of my house, never allowed back in and not seeing my child until the child is old enough to decide if they are up for it.

Tryonemoretime · 21/02/2025 18:58

needapokerface · 20/02/2025 15:40

My daughter bit me on the fleshy part of my boob when she was about 2, a full set of teeth marks were visible for hours and I bit her on her arm not as hard as she bit me but enough to know it hurts.

It was the 1st and last time she ever bit anyone.

Old school is sometimes the best way, as they have no idea how much it hurts till they experience it.

I did it (gently) to my son - and he never bit anyone else again. But I would NEVER do it to anyone else's child!

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/02/2025 18:57

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:53

I agree that the relative shouldn’t have disciplined the child.

I don’t agree with smacking.
my personal opinion is that it is excessive to stop a child from seeing a family member because of this.

would I talk to them and make it clear they are not to do things like that? Yes. Would I deprive my child of that relationship? No,

Show quote history

Depriving them of what? A relationship with someone who thinks physical abuse is appropriate?

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 21/02/2025 18:57

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:50

Yes, they know what they are doing. Teaching them not to bite and in mine and other people’s experiences? It worked and stopped right away. You don’t do it hard… at all. It’s the shock of you doing something straight away and your reaction to their bite.

parents hurt their children all the time. Ear piercing, circumcission,…… I mean, that’s okay is it?

Show quote history

What else have you done to stop your children's behaviour?
Would you kick or punch them if they kicked or punched someone?

And most parents really don't hurt their children all the time.

Onemorenamechangeagain · 21/02/2025 18:56

Sunflower1650 · 21/02/2025 18:55

So you assaulted your child in an attempt to punish them. And have boasted about it on a forum. Weird.

Show quote history

Weird is an understatement

Onemorenamechangeagain · 21/02/2025 18:56

IfItWasUpToMeIWould · 20/02/2025 17:51

You speak utter rubbish, some kids are ferrel because their parents are either too busy, too tired or can’t be bothered to teach them right from wrong.
If our kids hurt each other they got back what they gave out from me. Guess what, we have an excellent loving well balanced loving relationship with our adult DD and DS, and they are successful in every possible way.
I saw a child in Sainsbury’s a while back, about 4 yrs old, dragging stuff off the shelves and throwing it on the floor, the mother did nothing. If that’s today’s parenting then something has gone seriously wrong!

Show quote history

The mere fact that you were able bite a 2 year old toddler, and it must have been hard enough to hurt them, that you could look at their little face and most likely heard them crying after you'd done that, and STILL find some way to try and justify it in your mind is very telling.
Have you ever been assessed for sociopathy?

WorkItUpYourBangle · 21/02/2025 18:56

Unreasonable? I'd have knocked her out on her ass on the floor.

Sunflower1650 · 21/02/2025 18:55

needapokerface · 20/02/2025 15:40

My daughter bit me on the fleshy part of my boob when she was about 2, a full set of teeth marks were visible for hours and I bit her on her arm not as hard as she bit me but enough to know it hurts.

It was the 1st and last time she ever bit anyone.

Old school is sometimes the best way, as they have no idea how much it hurts till they experience it.

So you assaulted your child in an attempt to punish them. And have boasted about it on a forum. Weird.

Breezeblock · 21/02/2025 18:55

FedupMum2024 · 20/02/2025 15:37

What have you done to curb your child's biting habits?

If you’re talking behaviour modification, you might want to start closer to home.

thepariscrimefiles · 21/02/2025 18:54

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:50

Yes, they know what they are doing. Teaching them not to bite and in mine and other people’s experiences? It worked and stopped right away. You don’t do it hard… at all. It’s the shock of you doing something straight away and your reaction to their bite.

parents hurt their children all the time. Ear piercing, circumcission,…… I mean, that’s okay is it?

Show quote history

I don't agree with circumcision (unless medically mandated) or ear piercing for small children.

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:54

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/02/2025 18:52

Is your argument really ''well other people hurt their children''? Wow.

I think ear piercing and circumcision is wrong too.

Show quote history

🤣 no. That wasn’t my argument lol so don’t twist my words lol 😂

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:53

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/02/2025 18:32

I'm very confident that the police would disagree with that.

But then if a relative smacked my child, they wouldn't be seeing them again either.

Making it clear to my child that I will protect them from adults who thinks it's acceptable to physically abuse them isn't excessive.

Show quote history

I agree that the relative shouldn’t have disciplined the child.

I don’t agree with smacking.
my personal opinion is that it is excessive to stop a child from seeing a family member because of this.

would I talk to them and make it clear they are not to do things like that? Yes. Would I deprive my child of that relationship? No,

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/02/2025 18:52

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:50

Yes, they know what they are doing. Teaching them not to bite and in mine and other people’s experiences? It worked and stopped right away. You don’t do it hard… at all. It’s the shock of you doing something straight away and your reaction to their bite.

parents hurt their children all the time. Ear piercing, circumcission,…… I mean, that’s okay is it?

Show quote history

Is your argument really ''well other people hurt their children''? Wow.

I think ear piercing and circumcision is wrong too.

Lollylucyclark101 · 21/02/2025 18:50

thepariscrimefiles · 21/02/2025 18:28

The difference is that when a small child bites, they don't understand what they are doing and how much it hurts but when an adult bites a child as punishment and 'to teach them a lesson' they know exactly what they are doing.

Other posters have said that they bit their child hard enough to hurt, otherwise the child wouldn't have understood that biting was painful. This is a dreadful thing for an adult, particularly a parent, to do to their own child. I really can't understand the mindset of a parent that wants to hurt their own child.

Show quote history

Yes, they know what they are doing. Teaching them not to bite and in mine and other people’s experiences? It worked and stopped right away. You don’t do it hard… at all. It’s the shock of you doing something straight away and your reaction to their bite.

parents hurt their children all the time. Ear piercing, circumcission,…… I mean, that’s okay is it?

CrossCountryWoosh · 21/02/2025 18:48

My husband's relative was very proud of the time she bit his cousin to "teach him".
I never left my child with her alone. I made it very clear to my husband that if she bit our child, she would never see her again and I meant it.
TBH I don't think the relative would have been bothered about not seeing our child anyway but my point was made.

MyLimeGuide · 21/02/2025 18:47

SouthLondonMum22 · 21/02/2025 17:50

I don't think it's excessive at all. I'd be involving the police too.

Biting a child is disgusting.

Show quote history

It's so disgusting. It's feral.

Lostcat · 21/02/2025 18:44

needapokerface · 20/02/2025 15:40

My daughter bit me on the fleshy part of my boob when she was about 2, a full set of teeth marks were visible for hours and I bit her on her arm not as hard as she bit me but enough to know it hurts.

It was the 1st and last time she ever bit anyone.

Old school is sometimes the best way, as they have no idea how much it hurts till they experience it.

Wtaf 😱

LalaPaloosa2024 · 21/02/2025 18:44

Organisedwannabe · 20/02/2025 15:36

Was this recently? Does the child still have bite marks? Then I would go to the police.

Yes. I agree. Why do relatives think they can assault the most vulnerable members of the family? Report it to police. The lying and gas lighting your child is also emotionally abusive.