When a relative bites your child

You don't need to accept it if it involves your child and you don't agree with it. If someone wants to bite their child, at least they are making the decision for their own child but to go ahead and bite someone else's child? generational or not, they are in the wrong and know it.

I went mad at my father for hitting my dog on the nose the other day. If he but my child he would feel the wrath! Adults shouldn't be biting children to teach a lesson. That's not teaching anything. I wouldn't let ny child be around someone that bit him.

At four they absolutely should not be biting anyone!
How did you discipline your child?
You probably didn't did you?

This is very dependant upon where you live. I am fortunate to live in a country where children have equal protection from assault, and hitting them is no more legal than hitting an adult.

I would have absolutely no hesitation in going NC with this relative and reporting them

I'm guessing mother in law???

I agree that physical punishment isn't the way. What I've said is that we need to accept the generational gap in how behaviour has been dealt with. The older generation smacked first but it's lead to gentle parenting and ive not met 1 child that works for and ive worked in education with all ages for 12 years

I don't mean physical punishment, but actions like removing things they value. My point is that everyone parents differently. Older generations did whatever they deemed appropriate at the time, the younger generation believe snowflake parenting is the way. Im just stating that I think a harsher form of parenting when children do wrong is the way and that words do nothing. I do not hit my child

Im not offended by my parenting technique. My point has always been that everyone is different

Bet he/child doesnt bite anybody again.

You said that sometimes we need to show them and words aren't always enough, I presumed you meant you physically assaulted your child given that your contribution to the thread seems to be to defend an assault on a child. Maybe you could expand on what you actually meant?

I will never understand why some people think it's not ok for a man to hit a woman, but fine for an adult to hurt a child.

This is definitely a ‘thing’ that people do to kids who bite to try to get them to understand that it hurts and not to do it. While I don’t agree with it it’s a fairly common thing and I don’t think your relative was being deliberately malicious. I’m presuming it’s your MIL. Older generations have many different approaches to child rearing than most parents now would think acceptable so I’d suggest you don’t rely on her for childcare.

You could say the same about an adult thinking it's acceptable to bite a child.

No, it’s tit for tat, which normal people grow out of by the time they are in their teens!

@LJH001

People under 30 tend to get offended by anything and everything, have zero respect for anyone and definitely lack in manners.

You've seemed pretty offended and defensive on this thread tbh. I find this with a lot of people who accuse generations younger than them of being over sensitive or 'snowflakes'. They seem far more offended and sensitive about their parenting being criticised than they seem to realise!

It sounds like you aren't raising your daughter in that extreme though and like you said, she has good manners which goes to show that it's possible without biting them, pushing them or throwing coffee on them.

There is a middle but my point is I was raised with one extreme and I have respect and manners and don't get hurt by someone's words or opinions. People under 30 tend to get offended by anything and everything, have zero respect for anyone and definitely lack in manners. I am always told my daughter has excellent manners and is one of the best at nursery for it. It isn't hard to do.

I never said that you did but you seem to be defending it.

I'm not a fan of gentle parenting either but again, why does it have to be one extreme (gentle parenting) or the other (biting a child) when there's somewhere in the middle?

As a physically limited mum I am not able to run after my child if she decides in a split second to run so I have to use words, raise my voice and put sanctions in place. Doing nothing teaches nothing

Read what I put and find where I said I bite my child. Im saying gentle parenting doesn't work

So you use one of the (many) other tools at your disposal. You do not resort to physical violence. A parent should always model the behaviours they wish to see in their children.

Again, the only options aren't gentle words or biting your child. There's somewhere in the middle.

Abusing children doesn't mean having a backbone. You can have boundaries and be firm without abusing them.

I do not harm my child, do not assume I do. She attends nursery so it would have been raised by now if I did. I don't think abuse is normal. Reprimanding child for negative behaviour with a "that's not nice darling" in a sing song voice is pointless, raising my voice, changing my tone and showing them that way is ok. All im stating is my generation has a backbone and the generationwe are raising doesn't because everyone is so concerned with hurting their feelings.

I do not harm my child, do not assume I do. She attends nursery so it would have been raised by now if I did. I don't think abuse is normal. Reprimanding child for negative behaviour with a "that's not nice darling" in a sing song voice is pointless, raising my voice, changing my tone and showing them that way is ok. All im stating is my generation has a backbone and the generationwe are raising doesn't because everyone is so concerned with hurting their feelings.

A child can have consequences that don't involve an adult biting them. It is never necessary to bite a child.