When a relative bites your child

It's an old style tactic, how old is your dc, do they bite their brother, have the relative left bite marks. I'd talk to them, ask them why they bit dc, it's not appropriate and they need to explain and apologise. I wouldn't leave them unattended with relative though.did either you or your husband witness it.

Fucking hell. She was TWO.

YOUR DAUGHTER!
Not someone else’s!!!

I can't believe you didn't say anything. Honestly, if someone bit my kid, regardless of whether my kid bit them first, I would be raising merry hell and there's no chance I would have anything to do with them ever again. All this I'll bite them to show how it feels it utter bullshit. It's abuse, pure and simple and it's wrong on every level. Jesus, can't believe some of the stuff I read on here sometimes.

A child psychologist once recommended to my dear friend that when her toddler was attacking her older sister, that the older sister should pull her hair hard but not too hard in return and it would stop. Friend found it ridiculous and thought wtf is wrong with the psychologist teaching assault against assault and whilst on holiday after her older daughter was attacked by the younger one numerous times that day, my friend told her older daughter to pull her younger sisters hair if she ever bit, hit, pulled her hair and so on. So the toddler attacked the older sister again that day and this time the older sister grabbed her hair and pulled it hard enough to shock the toddler. My friend swears by it that to this day, the two girls are now younger and older teens now and the little one has never ever touched her older sister ever again. Don't shoot the messenger...

Sometimes I wish Mumsnet wasn't anonymous...

A (presumably) adult relative bit your child and you "obviously said nothing"?

What the actual fuck? You need to step up for your kids.

I was raised to be respectful of elders, so obviously I said nothing

There is no 'obviously' about it. You are failing in your duty to protect your children.

I was raised to protect children, so I would have torn a strip off that relative and then reported them to the police.

Mmm, when I was 17 my cousin bit me right through my jeans leaving top and bottom marks on my leg. So I took his arm and pretended to bite him, not hurt him, just so he knew others have teeth too. Didn´t leave mark or anything! He looked absolutely indignant. Didn´t cry or anything. I told his mum and why, and sometime later she said to me he hadn´t bitten anyone since then, the one before me being when he viciously bit a Polish girl on the face to get her off a swing he wanted. This had got her into trouble with said girls family. So perhaps your approach was just what he needed, she said. But this was the 90s. Whole different world then.

A 2 year old isn’t a baby

A 2 year old is actually perfectly capable of understanding many things and isn’t a baby.
They can definitely wrap their head around ‘biting hurts - we don’t do it’.

No that's not how a baby's brain works

I mean you’re totally glossing over your this child doing the biting in the first place? Was it a bite or a general bit of pressure with teeth to show that actually when he bites very hard it hurts his sibling?

I mean, I know people who have done this to teach their own child a lesson - not sure I agree with it. But, the relative who bit your DC is not their parent! WTF were they thinking. I was also brought up to respect my elders but this elder stepped over the line and hurt your child. I would've given them a piece of my mind and you are right to not trust them again.

It also isn't too late to talk to them and tell them how wrong they were to do this to your child and how upset you all are as a result.

“Respect your elders”?!? You are the parent. You are in charge. It is your job to protect your child, even if that means chastising someone older than you.

you need to think of yourself as the mother bear. She will do anything to protect her cubs.

My parents always did this if we punched, bit hair pulled etc. one time I stapled my brother's finger and I got stapled too. It it's someone 60 or older I don't think they realise times have changed.

How would you have dealt with it?

Very, very odd

I think so too

It's not ok and is abusive but it is an old fashioned parenting technique that some would do/have done without malice and it doesn't necessarily mean they present an ongoing risk of harm to children. You need to decide as the parent about how you feel about this. If you think it was malice then you should act accordingly to protect your child. If you think it was misguided parenting technique then you need to talk about this with the person or just not leave your child there if you can't trust them not to do it again. At the end of the day though I'd not tolerate a random relative doing this as I wouldn't expect them to correct this kind of behaviour in this way and I wouldn't allow them to care for my child.

I'd never have my child in the same room.

That is criminal assault and you could report to the police.

Nope id never see them again.

Is this relative a dog? If yes, have it put down.
If no, then stop respecting them however old they are. Let people know what they did. Never see them again, and never let your child see them again. Go to the police if they left marks. Does your husband believe this person over your child and over you?

I would be absolutely fuming and probably never see them again!

It is totally not ok for a relative to physically harm your child under the guise of discipline, which is also nothing to do with them.

You should report them to social care so they can arrange a child protection medical. Is your child verbal? If so they will probably tell someone at school or nursery.

No, totally not ok.