When a relative bites your child

oh my god, how could they do such a thing

Were you there? Was your child hurt?

There a huge difference between demonstrating biting isn’t nice and biting to hurt.

Watch puppies and their mum. If they leave their litter too soon they don’t get taught how to control their bite strength because we don’t protest nip them back!

But it's fine for your dc to hurt them in the first place and for you to punch the offender in the face

Surely there are degrees of retaliation

I was raised to be respectful of elders, so obviously I said nothing and consoled my screaming child, but since then I have felt unable to leave my child alone around that relative.

That's shocking, and something you should probably talk to someone about. Respecting elders is one thing, allowing your child to be bitten and saying nothing is not that.

My child wouldn't be seeing them again.

I would definitely never leave any of your children alone with this person again. I need some clarification. Were you at the visit when your DC was bitten or was this person babysitting? Had your DC just bitten his brother or was this relative responding to past incidents? How old is your DC? There may be even more issues with this person depending on the answers. Also, what does your DH think about his relative assaulting your DC?

Your parents stapled your finger??! Jesus.

What's omg method?

I don't think it's great if someone does this who isn't the parent but I'm not concerned about a dp showing their dc how it hurts and isn't good to bite people

Meh. He won't bite again

Being respectful of elders doesn't mean you idly stand by while someone bites your child.

If an adult walked up to you in the street and bit you, it would be assault. Why then is it okay to not speak up when someone bites your child?

You need to address it. And your child needs to not be in this persons company,

If an adult bit my child I would literally phone the police.

WTH have I just read? Adults, claiming it's more than okay and an 'old school' parenting technique for adults to bite children. And on Mumsnet, no less.

Strong statement though it is, I make no apology for pointing out that some of these responses are FUBAR.

I'd have ensured said adult couldn't bite my child again by knocking their fuckin teeth out.
(Do not take the above advice, I'm mad on your behalf) ❤️
Although I expect they'd report you to the police for assault, the irony eh?
They have assaulted your child, I'd certainly teach your child that this is not OK, I'd start by never having this person around your dc again.
Who actually bites a child?
I'm going to assume the adult is a relative in your dhs side of the family as they've denied it to him?
Do not let your dh play it down, you need to show your dc that both parents will protect them.

@ACatNamedRobin of course it's still abuse, no matter what the circumstances. I don't see how an adult biting a child, or actually anyone really, can be seen as any other way.

Why is your child biting people?

Pulling pigtails too

I agree and I don’t want to be harsh but you’ve failed your child there. You allow someone to assault him and don’t say anything?!!

because two wrongs dont make a right

I think without knowing how much or how bad the biting is, who the relative is, why they thought they needed to do this, the way they treat your DC in general its impossible to answer.

personally its omg method and all the best op

@Dozycuntlaters
Why is it abuse if it's just doing something to someone that they did to you??

Exactly! Same rationale as smacking.

Tell children not to bite/hit others by biting/hitting them. Erm OK

You're a shocking mum to not of stood up for your child never ever let that happen again, you're letting others control you into thinking that because there older they can get away with stuff, respect is earned. I'm raging

I was raised to be respectful of elders, so obviously I said nothing and consoled my screaming child,

Being respectful does not extend to condoning cruelty and assault. Your job is to protect your defenceless child!

Do not leave your child alone with his person ever again. Apart from the nastiness of such an action it is thick and ignorant. Children are quite old before they develop ‘theory of mind’, I.e the ability to project how they feel on to another person.

I would be very direct and clear, say ‘following the incident the other day I need to make it clear that we will never ever use corporal discipline on our child and will protect them from anyone who believes it is ok or the right approach. So I need your assurance that such a thing will never happen again’

That wouldn’t even be disrespectful. Respect isn’t letting someone do anything they like!

They can definitely wrap their head around ‘biting hurts - we don’t do it’. but their parents do bite, so why would they 'understand' they don't?