When a relative bites your child

hear hear.

flaky parents having no control.
teachers having no control.
police having no control.

this is the reality. I see it the little angels everyday at work.
cant even shout at the little darlings to actually sit down and do their work - then you get the parents phoning up and saying their little cherub is being...wait for it...bullied by staff.

maybe going old school might b a better approach? clearly the softly softly approach is working soooooo well.

Are social services overstretched. They don't seem to be able to deal with very serious abuse cases or sort out teenage murderers

It seems very trivial to me in comparison

Absolutely.

I told my daughter that if another child hurts her physically to first tell them to stop. If that doesn't help push them away gently. Then harder and finally if none of those work she can hit or kick then. This includes her little toddler brother. I think girls in particular need to learn that they have every right to defend themselves even against someone who they believe they are close to or loves them.

If an adult assaults her the best thing is to scream as loudly as possible and get away but if they are holding her she can kick scratch bite whatever.

I'd never ever allow an adult to get away with physically hurting one of my kids. Violence is only allowed to defend yourself or someone else. Not for anything else, including teaching a lesson.

Which would be an accurate thing to deem, in relation to a parent intentionally causing harm to their child.

I don't believe 'a mild pressure bite' would stop a child, you have to harm them for it to cause the 'shock' that kind of parent looks for. And there is a danger to taking that choice too, the danger that it will be deemed that you are ill equipped to parent a child or keep them safe.

Of course there's more than 2 options. You can tell a child off and they can have consequences that doesn't have to include biting a child.

It seems to me that there's a choice to make. You can give your child a mild bite through clothing (No - not a painful bite. A pressure bite). Or you can give your little one a lecture and accept the danger that your child will continue to bite other children and lose friends over it. One of my children was bitten so hard through a jumper, shirt and vest that he was left with teeth prints and bruising. The mother gave a gentle telling off to her boy but I never visited her again.

Well, exactly. Full on biting a child isn't a 'gentle' bite that pp was claiming provides the shock needed.

I really cannot imagine taking my own small child’s arm and giving it an intentional bite to hurt them. I honestly don’t think I would be able to do it, even if it was recommended as the gold standard of parenting

Yes a taste of their own medicine

Oh it works and it works well too ! It's obviously age dependent though a child at my sons nursery was a biter kids were going home bruised and in some cases bleeding another slightly older child lost their sh!t and full on bit the kid back he never ever bit another child again

Is your child going round biting people? Maybe people are absolutely fed up of being bitten and you doing fk all about it ? given you say the child's adamant they were bitten I'm going to assume it wasn't hard enough to leave any kind of mark

I find it hard to believe that 'light' smacks and 'gentle' bites provide such a shock that they never do it again. Of course the smack and bite is going to hurt because that is what provides this shock, otherwise what is the point?

and if it does hurt, that's a reason why it is wrong. Not to mention it makes no sense to teach a child not to bite or smack by turning around and biting and smacking them yourself.

Thing about mumsnet is that there are wild swings of understanding. You say that, after three ignored warnings to DC, it's perfectly permissable to give a light smack on a clothed bottom - and you get clobbered by people who accuse you of 'beating' the child. There is a world of difference between the former and the latter. The small smack is such a shock to the child (as long as it's a rare occurrence) that it's far more effective than lots of verbiage. Similarly with biting. If your child is a biter and a telling off hasn't stopped it, a small and gentle bite will definitely work. And that small and shocking bite is miles away from crunching up a little juvenile bone!

Same.
My DS started to bite me regularly and I ended up biting him back, not hard, no teeth marks but to give him a little shock and he never bit me again (or anyone ).

Hardly any suggestion as to what should be done to teach the child not to bite. I was bitten at school, a very long time ago and nothing was done to the child. She continued to bite. I never forgot.

No my child isn't left with them as they aren't here anymore

I'm quite shocked at the people saying things along the lines of "if it doesn't leave a mark its ok" no its not ok!! This attitude is why abuse can go undetected in black or Asian children, because marks may not show up on darker skin tones as much as lighter skin tones. Mark or no mark, it is NEVER ok!!

You leave your DC with the parents that abused you and they 'reprimand your child in their own ways' when you're not around?

So you'd be fine if they decided to smack or bite your child?

I'm generally easy going but if someone I trusted smacked or bit my child, I wouldn't be trusting them with my child any more.

My family members reprimand my child in their own ways when I'm not around. I don't always agree but im not there so its for them to deal with

You can respectfully tell people not to do something without shouting. If ever the situation arises again just calmly tell the person NEVER to hurt your child again. Your children are very young so you have to be their voice & speak up for them. I wouldn't leave your child with the relative again & I would be demanding that the person apologises to your little one for biting them & explain that if anything ever happens again you will report them to the Police.

People would be up in arms if a teacher smacked a child and they have to control 30 kids! And believe, the behaviour of some children in school is so bad. So if you can’t control your one kid without smacking them then you are the problem.

My ex step dad had a plastic bottomed slipper and we would be bent over his knee and smacked. I hadn’t even done it. My younger half sister had but she was his only child at the time. I was the eldest so ended up getting punished for younger siblings as I should have known better. So you do remember and it did do me harm.

Adults absolutely shouldn't be biting anyone either.