When a relative bites your child

Absolutely.

Do some people really think the options are bite your child or have an out of control child? That's just ridiculous.

You still havnt said what damage he did to his little brother

Delude yourself all you like, most abusers do. There are no circumstances under which biting a child is ok, especially a toddler.

Gross.

I have this kind of response. Yes, sometimes abuse reaches grotesque levels. That does not mean biting a child once is ok. That us still an abusive action.

Did Jimmy or his parents have any other issues?

Would he not have been in prison if someone had bitten him?

Growing up, I'm 50 there was a boy we nicknamed Jimmy why'd you do that because his mother used to say that oh 100 times a day. Died in prison. NO I AM NOT SAYING THATS WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERY CHILD WHO ISNT PARENTED. But it did to Jimmy why'd you do that.

I'm the product of good parenting. I don't look back at everything my parents did, particularly my more strict dad, and say yes they were 100 percent right. Just because your kids are doing well and love you (and probably forgive your more daft moments) doesn't mean everything you did will work for all parents and all kids.

Wtf is wrong with this relative? Don't leave DC anywhere near them again.

Exactly.

Even if you do believe in biting children, you don't bite anyone else's child.

No excuse for it at all.

Nope. 👎
If someone bit my child they would be told exactly that they were an abusive twat that would never again be trusted around my child. It’s never ever okay.

Fucking barbaric behaviour.

I can understand you being so taken aback in the moment that you didn't say anything as it cam be hard to do so if it's not in your nature. However, you can now do two things: either speak to the person directly and explain what they did was wrong and make a judgement on how they react or just completely withdraw from them. They might get the message that way.

You can also use it as a learning opportunity for your child - what the adult did was wrong and no one has the right to hurt anyone else (including your child - although no judgement, they all have the potential to go through a biting phase). But do speak about healthy boundaries.

As long as it wasn’t done out of spite and it didn’t leave injuries, then I think you might be overacting.
A firm conversation about how parenting has changed and that it is against how you have decided to raise your child, therefore you don’t ever want to see it happening again, would be enough.

I hope when you told your child that the relative was wrong to bite, you also reinforced that he shouldn’t be biting either. That there is no excuse for anyone to bite.

Wow. This thread is insane.
I can’t believe the amount of people that think it’s fine to ‘bite a child back’ and think that that will teach them empathy. JFC

As the parent you model better behaviour. You explain why biting is wrong, you intervene when you see bad behaviour and you firmly say no. I guess you may also outline an additional consequence should that behaviour be repeated.
But no. I can’t see why anyone would think it’s a good idea to copy the exact behaviour you are explaining is wrong 🤦‍♀️

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Hitting, biting, kicking are all unacceptable behaviours. Child to child it is not acceptable but adult to child is unspeakably awful because it’s an abusive situation. Adults are responsible for their behaviour in a way a child under the age of 10 isn’t and those actions would fall into the category of assault. Does that answer your question? If you genuinely can’t grasp why an adult returning the behaviour of a small child isn’t acceptable in any way then I hope you don’t have charge of young children.

Also worth remembering that most rational people do not accept child abuse and people that care for your DC have a duty to safeguard them. If a DC comes into nursery or school with an adult sized bite mark or tell school or nursery that an adult assaulted them, they have a duty to flag this with SS. I wonder if the posters will be sharing so proudly with SS that yes, they are child abusers.

So it's ok for an adult to have a knee jerk reaction but not a 4 year old?

You're expecting more from the 4 year old than you are the adult. If an adult can't possibly control themselves with knee jerk reactions, how can a 4 year old be expected to?

Thanks for this, I had someone completely objecting to my post saying in so many words that I didn’t notice the well behaved children in the store 🙄
It’s as if some parents are totally ignoring inappropriate behaviour and accepting that it is ok, its like you say, simpering comments instead of being firm and letting the child know that that behaviour is not acceptable and will carry consequences. I used to tell mine, anymore of that and you don’t watch your favourite tv programme, and they knew that would happen. It seems kids are in charge now and parents are afraid to set boundaries.
Yes the teenagers walking into stores and taking what they please is happening all over, have to admit we haven’t had any knife incidents though, but kids just walking in taking alcohol of the shelves is regular. They are ferrel! It was unheard of when I was a teenager!

Thanks for your response, genuinely appreciated

Thanks, I completely agree with this, I’m not arguing anything, and I do notice well behaved children. With respect you missed the point, it’s unreasonable for a parent to witness a child throwing food from a supermarket shelf and not educating that child right from wrong. She should’ve ‘helped’ DC to pick the items up and put them back on the shelf and explained why that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. It’s called parenting.

A 4 year old biting that's really bad. Far too old to not know better. Not your relatives place to discipline him though. But it was obvs a knee jerk reaction to a 4 year old thinking it was ok to bite. If my child came out with a bite from a 4 year old from school I'd be livid.

My ‘kids’ are amazing and I couldn’t be more proud of them, we have a fantastic adult and equal relationship… In my DS’s words when we were bursting with pride at his graduation ceremony, he said “I am the product of good parenting”, further more neither of them are not afraid of me, in fact I found that particular statement you made hilarious 🤣🤣🤣
With respect you need to give your head a shake, clearly you believe you are right, and that’s fine because I don’t even know you, but your sweeping statements have no place in my life or my children’s lives, or in my quote.
Have a nice evening.

That's not the point. An 8 year old shouldn't punch but say they punch their brother, should I punch them? Obviously not.

Crikey, that's one strange relative. They bite s child, say they did it then say they didn't. So they assault and scare a child then call them a liar.

That’s why I’m asking if it was an actual bite or the threat of a bite?