When a relative bites your child

Missing the point much? OP assuming you won’t go to the police I would never see this relative again and let them know why.

“Respect your elders”?!? You are the parent. You are in charge. It is your job to protect your child, even if that means chastising someone older than you.

you need to think of yourself as the mother bear. She will do anything to protect her cubs.

My daughter bit me on the fleshy part of my boob when she was about 2, a full set of teeth marks were visible for hours and I bit her on her arm not as hard as she bit me but enough to know it hurts.

It was the 1st and last time she ever bit anyone.

Old school is sometimes the best way, as they have no idea how much it hurts till they experience it.

@Dozycuntlaters
Why is it abuse if it's just doing something to someone that they did to you??

It takes some special kind of person to take a toddler's little arm and bite hard enough to cause pain to 'teach them a lesson'.

You don't actually know that is what happened, OP didn't seem to see any physical evidence of what happened. just that her child is adamant it happened and she believes them (if there was a physical mark or scar or teeth impressions she wouldn't be relying on her child to tell the truth, she would have seen it for herself) she was there immediately as soon as it happened so if someone had bitten them hard enough to cause pain there would have been evidence of it, I don't condone anyone physically punishing your child, but he could well have been crying from shock rather than pain.

If this sort of behaviour was acceptable and effective, why isn't this technique used by adults on other adults that they have authority over?

TBH this is such a ridiculous thing to say and I've seen it said quite a lot on here, it really isn't comparable at all.. if an adult came up to you and pushed you.. would you just stand there or would you push them back? What if they pushed or kicked or bit your child? Would you stand there or would you intervene and defend your child?

This wasn't some random attack from an adult to a child, it was one child biting, who at 4 is more than old enough to know that their actions are causing pain and suffering to a smaller weaker child and the adult intervening in a way they thought age appropriate to stop it happening/defend the younger child.

I don't agree with the persons actions AT ALL and would never tolerate someone doing that to my child, family member or not, but it is nothing like your boss biting you for not getting a project in on time FFS.. what a silly comparison.

Instead of making excuses about her 4 year old being tired and overstimulated, she should be safeguarding her younger child from his attacks and this probably wouldn't have happened in the first place.

I don't think that biting small children was ever acceptable, even 30 years ago. It takes some special kind of person to take a toddler's little arm and bite hard enough to cause pain to 'teach them a lesson'.

If this sort of behaviour was acceptable and effective, why isn't this technique used by adults on other adults that they have authority over? Would a manager biting a member of their staff who made a mistake be OK? If not, why not, if physical punishments are acceptable to use on small children, why not use them on adults?

Children who are physically punished by their parents are more likely to display aggressive and anti-social behaviours. Therefore, it is counter-productive as well as morally wrong.

I don't think that biting small children was ever acceptable, even 30 years ago. It takes some special kind of person to take a toddler's little arm and bite hard enough to cause pain to 'teach them a lesson'.

If this sort of behaviour was acceptable and effective, why isn't this technique used by adults on other adults that they have authority over? Would a manager biting a member of their staff who made a mistake be OK? If not, why not, if physical punishments are acceptable to use on small children, why not use them on adults?

Growing up, I'm 50 there was a boy we nicknamed Jimmy why'd you do that because his mother used to say that oh 100 times a day. Died in prison. NO I AM NOT SAYING THATS WHAT HAPPENS TO EVERY CHILD WHO ISNT PARENTED. But it did to Jimmy why'd you do that.

Okay so before everyone derails the post, this was not abuse, it may be considered abuse now by the flaky way in which we parent, as in we have no control over our children, the teachers have no control of the children and the police have no control over children.

When this happened it was over 30 odd years ago, this is not an excuse and I will not be apologising for teaching my daughter a valuable lesson.

As the saying goes opinions are like arse holes and everyone has one.

You don't have to like or agree with what I did, but at the time it was the correct thing to do for me.

I don't condone the adults behaviour at all. Just because it's a knee jerk reaction doesn't mean it's right. However, a 4 year old biting is not on at all and I would be fuming if another 4 year old bit my child.

Did Jimmy or his parents have any other issues?

Would he not have been in prison if someone had bitten him?

You speak utter rubbish, some kids are ferrel because their parents are either too busy, too tired or can’t be bothered to teach them right from wrong.
If our kids hurt each other they got back what they gave out from me. Guess what, we have an excellent loving well balanced loving relationship with our adult DD and DS, and they are successful in every possible way.
I saw a child in Sainsbury’s a while back, about 4 yrs old, dragging stuff off the shelves and throwing it on the floor, the mother did nothing. If that’s today’s parenting then something has gone seriously wrong!

Lots of other consequences would probably also curb the behaviour, but also fall into the abusive category. It is why people do not hit children, burn them, cut them etc. Because harming children is NEVER a hey ho matter!

So it's ok for an adult to have a knee jerk reaction but not a 4 year old?

You're expecting more from the 4 year old than you are the adult. If an adult can't possibly control themselves with knee jerk reactions, how can a 4 year old be expected to?

I too am interested to know...
A) what OPs method of stopping her child from biting is and...
B) Since this incident, has child bitten again?

It may be missing the point but I do think if it curbs the behaviour and child doesn't do it again...hey ho.

Also, I do believe if this is a relative that loves your child and you have trusted up till this point, having a conversation to say please don't do that again, should be enough.

I also think having 1 awkward conversation with a family member is a lot better than having a bunch of nursery or school mums angry with you because your child thinks it OK to bite....

All of the people screaming abuse on here would be livid if their Child was bitten by another and the other parent was apologetic but had nothing in place to stop the behaviour.

I'm the product of good parenting. I don't look back at everything my parents did, particularly my more strict dad, and say yes they were 100 percent right. Just because your kids are doing well and love you (and probably forgive your more daft moments) doesn't mean everything you did will work for all parents and all kids.

You would support a relative abusing your child? I would ring the police.

Presumably, you were being ineffective in stopping your child biting others and perhaps other annoying behaviours?

If that’s the case, then I’d support the grandparent. Presumably, they didn’t draw blood but just gave the child pause for thought?

Ineffective parenting is the bane of everyone’s lives at the moment.