To think it’s normal to live paycheck to paycheck?

A money saving app you have to pay for doesn’t sound like a sensible place to start. Have you contacted the Stepchange charity? They are outstanding - and free.

Not normal for me - I save a big chunk of my salary each month but then I don't have children and my outgoings are quite low. I appreciate this isn't the norm for most people, though.

I don’t think it’s normal to be a family where one has significantly more than the other. It makes no sense to me at all.

Why are you living with no spare money but your partner has savings? It’s just weird.

I think in a family with sufficient money it's normal to have separate savings, DH and I both have our own savings accounts. However, we set up things so the boring essentials come out of the joint account and we have the same amount of savings and spending money. It's a bit leaky because we sometimes disagree on essentials vs 'fun' money (is a teenager getting yet another pair of trainers essential or fun money? What about driving lessons?) but it allows us to prioritise what we think is important.

Anyway, I think that @Colacubegirl should sit down with her DH and rearrange their money to make things fairer between them. They should both be left with the same spending/saving money. If he isn't prepared to do that she should start thinking about returning to work FT and possibly divorcing him (maybe check how much he'd have to give you if you were to separate and remind him of that).

I'm married and we have separate accounts. It's not unusual. We share expenses to suit.

I second YNAB. But if op household bills expenses and costs are split correctly, there should be opportunity for both to save or spend.

So writing down all the spend plus credit cars repayments and interest would be useful. If you got into debt because you work p/t but still pay for essentials 50/50 then your debt is shared.

Yes it's normal.

What's a bit off though is expecting to build up a savings pot when you only work PT and are presumably on benefits.

Yes Op in the real world it’s totally normal as the cost of bills, food etc just doesn’t match with what most ppl earn.
For example I’m always in my overdraft a week before pay day and I earn above minimum wage.

I have a Plum account linked to my bank account and that siphons off small amounts of money throughout the month.
You don't notice it being taken out really and you can adjust the settings to suit your needs. You can also instantly draw it out if you need to. I usually use the money for holidays/Christmas/emergencies etc.

I think you need to budget if you want to prioritise savings. If that means less Christmas / birthday presents or turning down weddings then that’s what you need to do.

I am rubbish at following my own advice so I have a couple of thousand to use for emergency repairs car , roof, boiler. Sounds like your DH would cover that and the rest just vanishes.

You get a free trial for a couple of months - but I've saved many times the annual cost.
There are other tools that do similar, this is the one that works for me.

Oh I've just looked at it - you have to pay

I'm rubbish with money and I've been told about this before but I've always just dismissed it. Do you really think it works? Well obviously you do 🤦🏼‍♀️

No, it’s not good practice to live paycheck to paycheck.
You either need to cut expenses or increase income.
Best advice I can give is pay your future self first. When you are paid, auto transfer a set amount into savings you cannot easily access and then live off the rest. There are all kinds of tax efficient savings in the U.K.- different ISAs, set one of those up.

I don’t live month to month but I have in the past. I was a single parent though.

If my husband had savings and I was living paycheck to paycheck, he'd be my ex-husband.
Id rather be single and skint instead of supporting a man who has no intention of sharing with me, his wife.

You sound like you have an unusual set up and your OP didnt mention a partner.

Of course if you work part time you will not have huge amounts of spare income but if I could say - you have made this thread a drip feed I suspect on purpose for some reason and then revealed there is someone else in the house but you didnt want to mention them...

Ah the drip feed.

the “not normal” bit is the totally separate savings of your DH. Either you’re a life partnership or you aren’t. Sounds like you aren’t. If you are living “paycheck to pay check” it’s because of this arrangement.

Having savings doesn’t mean he has money to spare to give to the op so she can buy stuff for weddings and birthdays,

OP actually said "I have a DH who has savings".
So no, it is not the case that he might not have a penny to spare.

Besides which, if he earns most of the money, of course he should pay for most of the costs. Because OP is unable to work as much, due to childcare.

Huh? Of course if matters. He might have not a penny spare. And pay for most of the costs.

check your privilege.

Okay, I did assume the children were his.
Perhaps @Colacubegirl could clarify?

As for the rest, it doesn't matter how much he earns, how much extra he has, whether he considers OP a spendthrift, or how much each contributes - the fact is that currently he is building savings in his own name and OP isn't, mainly due to her working part-time due to childcare.

Unless OP has a gambling problem or drug habit or similar, the savings should be joint, and they should both have equal 'non-essential' spending money.

Women should not suffer financial disadvantage due to childcare whilst their husbands continue to save and build pensions in his name only.

Why do you have separate finances if you’re married?

No, but I don’t have kids.

It does sounds like a drip feed sorry.
You go from a being a parent working part-time unable to save.

To a woman that is married and who's husband has savings but for some bizarre reason they are his savings not the couple's savings.
And then you are struggling to even save £100 🤷‍♀️

Wow. This is so ott I had to read it twice. Considering you habe no idea how much he earns, how much extra he has, why they have rhis agreement, if she’s a spend thrift, how much each contributes, evenif the kids are his, and you’ve jumped so hard and so fast.

😂😂😂😂😳😂😂😂