To find mother’s comments so upsetting? *Content warning added my MNHQ: references miscarriage*

Well there's a nice guilt-trip for you. As others have said, ask her what she values more, you or her fantasies about a third grand-child? Make it abundantly clear that she's risking something real (her relationship with you) with her demands for something that isn't and leave the ball in her court.

Wish I could give you mum a kick up the ass for being so rude. You and your children are enough. Maybe get some space away from her. I do some people who would love to be grandparents and they know it's unlikely to happen. But they would never comment on it as they would hurt their child's feelings. Sorry to hear about your loss.

OMG she’d rather risk your health to get another grandchild than support you in your decision. Unbelievable. Find your strength to tell her to butt out.

Grandmother's do not say this sort of thing.
Insensitive boors say this sort of thing.
As another and grandmother, I try very hard to say things which support and help my children.

To be honest what your mum said was vile and ridiculous. What on earth is wrong with her? You need to put boundaries around this and make clear she's never to say anything like this again. Grandparents don't 'just say these things'. What a lazy and bizarre excuse for saying something unbelievably out of line.

Honestly I think you're making a great choice, by far the healthiest one.

Why isn’t 2 enough? I’d understand if you have no children but what difference does your mother think a third child will make?

Jesus. She is quite revolting.

I am a grandmother, until quite recently we had just one dgc. We honestly never thought there would be another due to issues my DDIL had. To be honest, we never thought we'd even have one dgc, so when dgc came along we were truly blessed and overjoyed. I would never have said anything to my DS or DDIL about one not being enough. As it happens, DDIL became pregnant again and we now have a second dgc. We are extremely grateful for the two we have. IMO, it is not ok to question anyone's choices about the number of children they choose to have, and most definitely not when the child's parents have gone through so much to have their family.
I don't have any answers for you, though I would probably hold my parent at arms length going forward - my mother is similar to yours in that she thinks she has the right to comment negatively about our life choices so for many years now I have chosen not to share certain information with her. She does sometimes question it and I tell her why.

This is my opinion too. Surely no caring mother would want to willingly put her daughter through more IVF knowing she’s also had a loss and infection.

There has to be a bit more to this I can’t imagine it’s out of character from your mum to say judgemental things to you OP x

I would love, love, love to have more children, but I had various health complications with both of my pregnancies. As much as I would love another baby, I can't justify taking such as risk. I nearly died both times and if it went wrong again and my luck ran out, the consequence would be leaving my two wonderful children to grow up without a mother.

Also, financially/practically I don't think I could afford another, I'm now mid-40s, so risks are higher anyway and I already have a lot of mum guilt when giving one child my attention when the other one needs me, so I don't think I could deal with the mum guilt of more kids either!

99.9% of the time, I've made my peace with it, and I know it was the right decision for me to have stopped at 2... but there are of course still moments occasionally when I still wonder what if...

Your mum needs to separate out 2 things, her right to have feelings and her right to communicate those feelings.
Of course as grandmother she's allowed to feel sad and disappointed. But what does sharing that with you achieve? You need to feel held and supported right now.
Does she normally go around telling everyone her feelings about their life choices or just you? I'd be asking how her telling you that is showing you support.
You're doing the right thing for you. Stay strong OP.

With all due respect mum, this isn't about you. You are well aware that I'd have loved another child, but it just seems not to be. I'm focusing on the two amazing kids I do have instead of putting myself through more heartbreak. Please respect that.

What a stupid thing to say. Two is not enough for who exactly ? Her ? How ridiculous. I am pregnant after Ivf trying for a second child. My mother knew about my infertility struggles and wouldn’t dream of saying anything to me about it. She would in fact remind me of the positives of having an only child. Your mother must not have a clue, sorry.

She said they’re not enough, two isn’t enough and I’ll regret this when I’m older and it’s too late.

This is projecting.
She needs to understand that what comes into her head doesn't have to come out of her mouth and she needs to keep her projections to herself and deal with them.

Your life isn't hers. You have made your decision and would appreciate her support, not her judgement.

Monumental asshole.

I'd be telling her to stop, you won't discuss this further and if she intends to carry on you'll withdraw. This is an absolute boundary she isnt to cross anymore.

It's not simple because OP did want more. Did we read the same post?

Bitchy, self absorbed and unempathic grandmothers say that sort of shit. So, she's owning being that sort is she? Fuck her.

This is quite hard enough for you as it is.

How many siblings do you have out of interest?

I would be telling my mum to mind her own business . That is a truly awful thing to say to you in your circumstances.
i am
nit one to sulk or advocate no contact, but I would be taking a break from her, and would not be confiding in her

Obviously what she said was tactless and hurtful and not okay. Your only consideration in making the decision is what's right for your own family and not what your mother thinks. However, I do wonder if she is feeling that you really want another child and have 'given in' to your partner when he says he wants to stop IVF? Is it coming from a place of concern for you?

How vile.

Horrible thing for her to say. Of course, one child is enough, some people aren't even able to have that. it's also not going to be very helpful to you when you're doing your best to be okay with the situation. Don't stand for it if she says it again.

She’s an idiot. One child is enough, two children is enough etc. I would love another (I have two) but sometimes you have to follow your head and not your heart, for so many reasons. You’ve been through a lot and she seems to enjoy pissing on your parade.

You were not put on this earth to present your mother with babies. Tell her this and ask her not to raise this again if she values your relationship.

There's obviously something wrong with her which I'm sure you're already aware of. I doubt her behaviour has come out of the blue. I would find her behaviour very upsetting and would limit contact with her for the time being. In future just cut her off: leave, put the phone down and refuse to discuss it again.