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Should I report my cousin's benefit fraud?

613 replies

GreatAmberSnake · 20/02/2025 09:35

Hi everyone - I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma and looking to get everyone's opinions.

My M34 cousin doesn't work, he claims PIP. I'm not that familiar with how it works but he says he's on the highest level available, and there's even talk of him getting given a car. He openly boasts at every opportunity about the extreme exaggerations and outright lies he put on his PIP application, and calls me and other members of the family idiots for working when we could just get our money from PIP like he does.

If they investigated him they would easily find that some of his lies don't add up. I believe he genuinely does have depression and anxiety, but he has no physical issues. He said he put things like his partner needs to dress him in the morning (he split from his partner a couple of years ago), needs to wear velcro shoes as he can't tie laces etc. A home visit would show up some of his lies, and a call to the school (he's a weekend Dad but sometimes picks up/drops off his sons) or the Police (he's been arrested for drug offences a couple of times) would be further proof.

The main thing stopping me from reporting him is his depression. He has attempted suicide on at least one occasion, and I fear that a potential prison sentence for fraud could send him into a spiral. Even if no-one found out it was me, I really don't want that on my conscience.

If he didn't boast all the time I would just ignore it, it's not like it affects me directly, but it just winds me up every time he goes on about. Grrrr!! I do try to minimise contact with him but sometimes it's easier said than done. If he gets this car I think he'll become even more unbearable 😡

Help! What would you do?

OP posts:
Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 20:01

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:58

So the solution is to cut them? Being in poverty does not help MH.
There needs to be more help for MH out there, more so for children and young people so they can thrive and not end up as revolving door patients as they get to adulthood.
The crapness of NHS MH care and CAMHS, and the benefits system, is not the fault of people claiming it. As the saying goes.... don't hate the player, hate the game.

Yes.

We plough £££ into mental health as it is, and none of it makes much of a difference. How much have you had in the way of therapy/meds/appointments? Has it significantly helped you to the extent you can now work?

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:58

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:51

I’ve been hospitalised for MH reasons. I had a 6 week stay. I still don’t think benefits for mental health issues are remotely sustainable unless for the most extreme cases only.

So the solution is to cut them? Being in poverty does not help MH.
There needs to be more help for MH out there, more so for children and young people so they can thrive and not end up as revolving door patients as they get to adulthood.
The crapness of NHS MH care and CAMHS, and the benefits system, is not the fault of people claiming it. As the saying goes.... don't hate the player, hate the game.

Miley1967 · 22/02/2025 19:55

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:51

I’ve been hospitalised for MH reasons. I had a 6 week stay. I still don’t think benefits for mental health issues are remotely sustainable unless for the most extreme cases only.

I agree and I do help a lot of people with PIP forms. and I do understand the criteria. Sadly I think we will see them become a lot harder to get awarded, the criteria will become stricter.

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:51

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:43

Your true colours are showing. You think people with MH conditions are are not worthy of support. They are the "wrong" sort of disabled.
Come spend some time on a MH ward (I have spent far too long in them), and tell me that even half the people there could be better if they just got a job.
And "legally insane" is not a thing, apart from in films.

I’ve been hospitalised for MH reasons. I had a 6 week stay. I still don’t think benefits for mental health issues are remotely sustainable unless for the most extreme cases only.

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:50

Also, someone "legally insane" (and again, this is not a real thing anyway) would have been judged so after extensive forensic psychiatric assessments as part of a court case... and someone judged to be so, would end up on a hospital order.... and guess what... you don't get PIP when you are in hospital (or prison for that matter).

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:43

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:39

@XenoBitch Why not answer then? The way I see it is everyone is responsible for their own actions, they can’t just pretend to be a helpless puppet of the state. I could put in a claim for PIP; I actively choose not to, and I’m not wealthy at all. The state can only deal with what we give them, and if millions of people are doing what they can to get out of work, that leaves our country in a dire state.

There’s talk of PIP being removed for MH conditions, I’m not sure if it will happen but I hope it does (bar people so unwell they’re considered legally insane) because allowing disability benefits for moderate MH issues has opened a floodgate that is draining the public purse.

Your true colours are showing. You think people with MH conditions are are not worthy of support. They are the "wrong" sort of disabled.
Come spend some time on a MH ward (I have spent far too long in them), and tell me that even half the people there could be better if they just got a job.
And "legally insane" is not a thing, apart from in films.

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:39

@XenoBitch Why not answer then? The way I see it is everyone is responsible for their own actions, they can’t just pretend to be a helpless puppet of the state. I could put in a claim for PIP; I actively choose not to, and I’m not wealthy at all. The state can only deal with what we give them, and if millions of people are doing what they can to get out of work, that leaves our country in a dire state.

There’s talk of PIP being removed for MH conditions, I’m not sure if it will happen but I hope it does (bar people so unwell they’re considered legally insane) because allowing disability benefits for moderate MH issues has opened a floodgate that is draining the public purse.

Dramatic · 22/02/2025 19:38

I know someone like this, only she claims fraudulently for her child. For people saying it's practically impossible, it's really not if you have enough of a determination to do it.

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:33

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:23

Who exactly are you proposing we ‘get angry’ at?

I find it disturbing that you even have to ask that.

LadyKenya · 22/02/2025 19:31

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:23

Who exactly are you proposing we ‘get angry’ at?

Not at one of the most vulnerable groups of people in Society, that would be a start.

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 19:23

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:21

Folks are exasperated at the wrong people though. They bitch on here about their hairdresser's dog's walker's aunt, with the hyperbole about the £K they get in benefits, their free cars etc, and forget the reason they get that money to begin with. They just think it is handed out no questions asked, and that people willingly give up work to claim it. They post with the aim to get people angry at individuals, and not the people who make the policies.
They should be looking up, not down.

And "housing expenses paid" can't be used as mic drop either. Not everyone on UC claims it (I don't). This means that I am on less than NMW compared to someone who is working. So yes, it does rile me when people think everyone on benefits is raking it in.

Who exactly are you proposing we ‘get angry’ at?

XenoBitch · 22/02/2025 19:21

Wildflowers99 · 22/02/2025 00:30

You can’t use this as a mic drop forever. It cannot be the case that nobody can criticise disability benefits ‘because it means you’re jealous of a disabled person and OMG that makes you terrible’. I’m disabled (on tons of medication just to keep myself physically alive), so I do get it, but the fact remains we spend more on disability benefits than we do on our armed forces. That’s how out of control it is. It’s not even a moral issue, it’s a financial one - we simply cannot afford it.

And you can’t blame the public for becoming exasperated when the staggering increase in claims over the last 10 years has been driven by non-pathological illnesses. I can’t even remember the last time I heard of a PIP/DLA claim for something that wasn’t autism, ADHD, anxiety, PTSD or fibromyalgia.

And you need to see the bigger picture. PIP may be ‘only a few hundred quid a month’ but the majority of PIP claimants don’t work, so are also on UC, and have their housing expenses paid. In addition to this they (like every person) get free comprehensive healthcare which if you are disabled cost a lot of money, as well as the passive benefits of taxpayer funded services like the emergency services, the military and infrastructure.

I think you need to take a look at your self before criticising the taxpayer that is working hard to provide all of the above.

Folks are exasperated at the wrong people though. They bitch on here about their hairdresser's dog's walker's aunt, with the hyperbole about the £K they get in benefits, their free cars etc, and forget the reason they get that money to begin with. They just think it is handed out no questions asked, and that people willingly give up work to claim it. They post with the aim to get people angry at individuals, and not the people who make the policies.
They should be looking up, not down.

And "housing expenses paid" can't be used as mic drop either. Not everyone on UC claims it (I don't). This means that I am on less than NMW compared to someone who is working. So yes, it does rile me when people think everyone on benefits is raking it in.

WaitingForMojo · 22/02/2025 16:41

Greeherbs · 22/02/2025 13:15

This made me laugh, thanks!

What you have described is so riddled with self contradictions and outright falsehoods that it is difficult to know where to begin.

🙄

Miley1967 · 22/02/2025 15:41

LakieLady · 22/02/2025 14:21

The online application is a trial thing and only possible in certain areas.

Sadly, none of them are in the counties I work in.

I have come across a few people who have used them but none have had a positive outcome. It seems to be more just tick boxes with no space to explain difficulties or upload medical evidence. One person didn't even seem to be aware she was applying for AA for her mum ( I think she thought she was just ordering the form or something) until a rejection letter dropped through the post a few weeks later. It is a very much shortened form than the normal one.

Miley1967 · 22/02/2025 15:39

Greeherbs · 22/02/2025 14:11

If it is a mental health award, a string of good days is par for the course.

You can report this as many times as you like and it wouldn’t make the blindest bit of difference. Especially if you haven’t read the actual claim.

Claimants often tell people all sorts of things. I used to live with someone who within a one year period had attempted suicide several times, long with being sectioned at least twice. Her family and friends knew nothing of this. Her claim would have been backed to the hilt with evidence from mental health professionals.

Reporting wouldn’t affect someone like this, not at all. Someone with ample write ups from psychiatrists wouldn’t be worried at all.

But if you have a lot of time to burn, do carry on. I suppose it keeps mean people occupied and off the streets. Best to have you focused on things that don’t cause any real harm.

Just to be clear I haven't reported anyone !

LakieLady · 22/02/2025 15:31

Julen7 · 22/02/2025 09:34

The poster means physical disability issues, obviously

My friend's autistic son is an adult, and he gets higher rate mobility because of his autism.

He is highly reactive and utterly phobic about any sort of flying insect, to the point where he just bolts if a fly or a wasp so much as heads his way. Consequently, he can only go out if he's strapped into a wheelchair.

Greeherbs · 22/02/2025 15:28

Whichever changes may or may not be brought forward, they will not be impacting someone as unwell as OP’s “cousin”. Being suicidal is a very serious consideration to be kept in mind.

LadyKenya · 22/02/2025 15:18

I am actually looking forward to Labour announcing once, and for all, what they plan to do with certain benefits. The uncertainty, and the amount of scaremongering I have been exposed to lately, can be pretty unnerving. At least knowing for definite what they will be doing, should quell some people's fears.

Greeherbs · 22/02/2025 14:56

Mumofoneandone · 22/02/2025 14:41

As someone who is fighting the system to get PIP, which I absolutely need for an incurable chronic condition (as well as anxiety and depression), absolutely report if he is boasting about getting it fraudulently. Actions like his make it much harder for people who genuinely need the financial support to get it. It is incredibly hard to get but some people know exactly how to play the system.....
FWIW I reported someone for benefit fraud, as it was openly being discussed around the family. I was appalled.
If people don't have the sense to keep quiet about their fraudulent activity, then there is a chance it will catch up with them....

Someone with a mental health PIP award, would know there is no “chance”.
It is virtually impossible to evidence fraud. Even less likely that someone not close to the claimant could evidence this. Walking alone, shopping, holidays, partners, smiling, 5 star restaurants, and other silly things mentioned earlier, don’t really cover it.

Sorry if this really upsets disabled people enviers.

LakieLady · 22/02/2025 14:45

XenoBitch · 21/02/2025 21:19

I hope not. I know many people who claim PIP for MH reasons. They use it to fund things like private therapy.

My friend's son uses most of his for exactly that. And it's therapy that he probably wouldn't need had he not been languishing on CAMHS waiting list for 6 years before he got any help, during which time he got immeasurably worse, and he was out of education for most of it.

If the government want to reduce the "benefit bill", they should consider investing in MH services for children and young people, so that their MH problems are addressed before they become entrenched and, often, end up being unable to support themselves financially.

scanni · 22/02/2025 14:44

Buttheads · 21/02/2025 21:07

I think they might be removing Pip for mental health issues and changes to UC but this will be announced in the next few weeks.
Scary times

Scaremongering.

You can’t discriminate against disabled people in that way, it would never fly.

Mumofoneandone · 22/02/2025 14:41

As someone who is fighting the system to get PIP, which I absolutely need for an incurable chronic condition (as well as anxiety and depression), absolutely report if he is boasting about getting it fraudulently. Actions like his make it much harder for people who genuinely need the financial support to get it. It is incredibly hard to get but some people know exactly how to play the system.....
FWIW I reported someone for benefit fraud, as it was openly being discussed around the family. I was appalled.
If people don't have the sense to keep quiet about their fraudulent activity, then there is a chance it will catch up with them....

LakieLady · 22/02/2025 14:37

Buttheads · 21/02/2025 21:07

I think they might be removing Pip for mental health issues and changes to UC but this will be announced in the next few weeks.
Scary times

I think that's vanishingly unlikely, because of the risk of suicides and hospital admissions by those who have significant MH issues and wouldn't be able to manage without it.

LakieLady · 22/02/2025 14:26

Jaehee · 21/02/2025 00:36

I’ve been on PIP several years now and have never once been asked about what I spend it on.

I've never heard of any of my clients being asked, either.

I can't even think of at what point they would be asked, tbh. It wouldn't be asked at assessment, as they wouldn't necessarily be getting it at that point, and reviews are mostly a paper exercise and don't involve being interviewed.

LakieLady · 22/02/2025 14:21

Miley1967 · 21/02/2025 00:11

Age Uk often have people who will fill out the forms. they will often do home visits. Also citizens advice or sometimes even DWP home visiting officers will come to the home to help fill out the form. Or you can fill out the form online also.

Edited

The online application is a trial thing and only possible in certain areas.

Sadly, none of them are in the counties I work in.