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Should I report my cousin's benefit fraud?

613 replies

GreatAmberSnake · 20/02/2025 09:35

Hi everyone - I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma and looking to get everyone's opinions.

My M34 cousin doesn't work, he claims PIP. I'm not that familiar with how it works but he says he's on the highest level available, and there's even talk of him getting given a car. He openly boasts at every opportunity about the extreme exaggerations and outright lies he put on his PIP application, and calls me and other members of the family idiots for working when we could just get our money from PIP like he does.

If they investigated him they would easily find that some of his lies don't add up. I believe he genuinely does have depression and anxiety, but he has no physical issues. He said he put things like his partner needs to dress him in the morning (he split from his partner a couple of years ago), needs to wear velcro shoes as he can't tie laces etc. A home visit would show up some of his lies, and a call to the school (he's a weekend Dad but sometimes picks up/drops off his sons) or the Police (he's been arrested for drug offences a couple of times) would be further proof.

The main thing stopping me from reporting him is his depression. He has attempted suicide on at least one occasion, and I fear that a potential prison sentence for fraud could send him into a spiral. Even if no-one found out it was me, I really don't want that on my conscience.

If he didn't boast all the time I would just ignore it, it's not like it affects me directly, but it just winds me up every time he goes on about. Grrrr!! I do try to minimise contact with him but sometimes it's easier said than done. If he gets this car I think he'll become even more unbearable 😡

Help! What would you do?

OP posts:
Sunnysideup4eva · 21/02/2025 18:24

FamilyPhoto · 20/02/2025 10:03

Exactly.
Its incredibly difficult to get PIP now. A family member works in the system.
Something is not adding up here 🤔

It really isn't, given something like 5% of the whole UK population receives it.
Something that over 3 million people in the UK gets is not difficult to get.

TheWorminLabyrinth · 21/02/2025 18:23

BH24 · 21/02/2025 00:27

I'm quoting you as you so passionately keep replying to me and seem very irate about this. I'm not mad at all. And no, PIP is supposed to be given to help you out with your needs. My partner gets PIP and he gets asked what he spends his PIP money on to help with his needs.

No he does not. That's an outright lie. Absolutely nobody gets asked what they spend their PIP on.

Purpl · 21/02/2025 18:14

I doubt they put him in prison they just alter the snowing if benefits they pay him. The uk is very soft,

sunshinestar1986 · 21/02/2025 18:04

I wouldn't
You can actually get mobility for anxiety.
Because planning a journey is part of it.
Anyway, I know someone who had severe depression and suffered a bout of psychosis, was suicidal etc and couldn't work, couldn't claim benefits because he wouldnt/couldn't keep appointment or write forms etc
Anyway, someone helped him get pip.
Now he looks decent, and seems normal but that's because he's able to pay bills and take taxis etc. He certainly wasn't putting it on.
So, you're not going to help him with money are you, so why not ignore him?

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/02/2025 17:57

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:46

It sounds like you are shouting at me!
I am sorry I am not up to date with the benefit system, sounds like you are though, so instead of getting mad at me, please try to educate me in a nice, pleasant manner.
Sorry I said that about you, I apologise.

But you’ve been educated by a few posters. It takes absolutely ages to get an award so someone with an unpredictable condition like your friend with bipolar wouldn’t just come off it when they felt better. You’ve said your friend used to come off it when they were manic, that’s not ‘’better’’. You tried framing it like some sort of moral action when really they weren’t in their right mind.

When someone is awarded PIP, it is supposed to make their lives easier and more fulfilling and bearable, so even if, after being unwell, someone doesn’t seem like they should have it anymore, that doesn’t necessarily mean they shouldn’t, but more that that money is what’s enabling them to live as close to a normal life as possible.

I swear people think that disabled people should be rocking in a corner unable to do anything for themselves and have no elements of a normal life in order to qualify for PIP. It’s dehumanising. It’s like people want us to be ‘less than’ even more than we are already.

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:46

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/02/2025 17:35

I’m not a bully, you just don’t like it when someone stands up to you being ignorant. I’m not angry at all. I was simply replying. You’re the one who claimed I was angry so I must have mental health problems. Is that not ‘’bullying’’ in your mind? I’ll admit it’s quite annoying to read someone who knows little about how things work spouting their ill informed opinions on here, but I guess that’s just part and parcel of discourse.

If me replying to you is me ‘’sounding like a bully’’ then fine, so be it. You sound like someone unhappy and ignorant with very little self awareness but here we are, we’re not all perfect. Good day.

It sounds like you are shouting at me!
I am sorry I am not up to date with the benefit system, sounds like you are though, so instead of getting mad at me, please try to educate me in a nice, pleasant manner.
Sorry I said that about you, I apologise.

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:37

Miley1967 · 21/02/2025 17:29

I do up to 20 AA forms a month for clients. The higher rate is meant to be for people that have day and night time care needs or difficulties but we seem to find the vast majority, especially when 85+ seem to get awarded AA higher rate even if they have barely any night time needs. I do wonder sometimes whether they just think well they'll be along again in a few months time asking for an upgrade and it will cost us money to re-assess the claim so we'll just give higher rate form the word go anyway !

Are you CA councillor? Thanks

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/02/2025 17:35

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:27

You sound like a real bully, tbh.

I’m not a bully, you just don’t like it when someone stands up to you being ignorant. I’m not angry at all. I was simply replying. You’re the one who claimed I was angry so I must have mental health problems. Is that not ‘’bullying’’ in your mind? I’ll admit it’s quite annoying to read someone who knows little about how things work spouting their ill informed opinions on here, but I guess that’s just part and parcel of discourse.

If me replying to you is me ‘’sounding like a bully’’ then fine, so be it. You sound like someone unhappy and ignorant with very little self awareness but here we are, we’re not all perfect. Good day.

Miley1967 · 21/02/2025 17:29

scanni · 21/02/2025 17:14

The rates are connected to your care needs - yes if you have less then 12 months to live you will get fast tracked to high rate, but many many people qualify for the higher rate of AA without being terminal.

I do up to 20 AA forms a month for clients. The higher rate is meant to be for people that have day and night time care needs or difficulties but we seem to find the vast majority, especially when 85+ seem to get awarded AA higher rate even if they have barely any night time needs. I do wonder sometimes whether they just think well they'll be along again in a few months time asking for an upgrade and it will cost us money to re-assess the claim so we'll just give higher rate form the word go anyway !

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:27

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/02/2025 17:18

Hahaha! I’m the one angry with MH issues, am I? Take a look in the mirror and get some self awareness, love. It might help! 🤣

You sound like a real bully, tbh.

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

My family have certainly faced the darkest days. I certainly know what mental health is, that is for sure. The struggles of trying to keep a roof over the head of a loved one & years of trying to keep that person safe.
I now know what is like to be bereft, struggling, after a loved one has taken their own life.
So please stop with your nasty comments. You like a real bully.

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/02/2025 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hahaha! I’m the one angry with MH issues, am I? Take a look in the mirror and get some self awareness, love. It might help! 🤣

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/02/2025 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I’m not angry at all. I’m replying to you, you’re the one who started off slagging people off online when you know so little about the system. Add to that, you’re now proving yourself to be a very unpleasant person talking about me having MH issues because I’m daring to stand up to your ignorance. Nice! You know very little about MH issues as well, it seems, not just PIP.

You’re telling me to get a life, yet you spend your time having a go at people who are on benefits but won’t say it to their faces. As I said, concentrate on your own life, hobbies and goals. The reason most people are so unhappy and angry is because they spend so much time comparing themselves and being envious of others. The way forward is to simply keep your nose out and focus on yourself.

I’m very sorry if I got you confused with another poster who said people spend PIP on drugs and alcohol.

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:15

scanni · 21/02/2025 17:14

The rates are connected to your care needs - yes if you have less then 12 months to live you will get fast tracked to high rate, but many many people qualify for the higher rate of AA without being terminal.

Ahh ok thank you 🙏

scanni · 21/02/2025 17:14

The rates are connected to your care needs - yes if you have less then 12 months to live you will get fast tracked to high rate, but many many people qualify for the higher rate of AA without being terminal.

scanni · 21/02/2025 17:13

@Butterfly292828

This...

Attendance Allowance is for pension age. It can be applied for at two different rates. Rate 1 is if you need assistance because you have care needs that mean you are unable to look after yourself for the past at least 6 months (£72 pw). Rate 2 is fast tracked and higher rate for those given less than 12 months to live (£108 pw). I believe non-means tested and given on top of pension / pension credits. The associated full time carer can also apply for carer allowance (£82 pw

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 17:11

scanni · 21/02/2025 16:46

@Butterfly292828

That 'info' is not accurate in any way.

Which info?

scanni · 21/02/2025 17:01

anonny55 · 21/02/2025 16:55

Pip is not always hard to claim.

1 example - I know someone (very close to me I know the ins and outs) claimed for anxiety and knees regularly dislocating when he was 5😵‍💫
He's worked 3 jobs since becoming an adult which he managed perfectly fine , they were all active jobs too 12hrs a day on your feet. His knees having dislocated ever in the 4 years I've known him , he laughs and makes a joke of it as a perfect excuse to get pip. He says he has anxiety as he gets a dodgy tummy when he's nervous (woop woop don't we all!) he does public speaking for my sisters projects she does as she's shy so struggles at the big events (he doesn't get paid but goes along to them to help her). Anxiety can't be that bad then. He rides his bike around town everyday perfectly fine with those 'dodgy knees' he's getting over £700 a month in pip, rent paid for and UC on top. Buying himself £500 VR technology - living better than most of us in full time work. Now boasting about how he's going to get a car through his pip

On another hand my DB who's diagnosed ASD, ADHD, Bipolar, anxiety and depression and absolutely cannot hold down a job and has a load of additional needs where he needs my mum as a full time carer to cook, clean, do his washing etc..was denied and had to go through tribunal. It took years and eventually he was reimbursed over 20k after all medical evidence and evidence from schools, then past jobs all came together

So it seems the ones who aren't genuine with bull shit excuses get it pretty easy no fuss (and yes you can go to your doctor and say you have anxiety and that is a medical note (how does your doctor know if your talking shit, they usually flog you off with medication - that you don't need to take - and there's your 'evidence) , then the ones generally struggling have to go through all the hoops to get what they SHOULD.

Haha there is so much that doesn't add up but a tribunal that took years and he was given £20k of back money- pull the other one.

anonny55 · 21/02/2025 16:55

Pip is not always hard to claim.

1 example - I know someone (very close to me I know the ins and outs) claimed for anxiety and knees regularly dislocating when he was 5😵‍💫
He's worked 3 jobs since becoming an adult which he managed perfectly fine , they were all active jobs too 12hrs a day on your feet. His knees having dislocated ever in the 4 years I've known him , he laughs and makes a joke of it as a perfect excuse to get pip. He says he has anxiety as he gets a dodgy tummy when he's nervous (woop woop don't we all!) he does public speaking for my sisters projects she does as she's shy so struggles at the big events (he doesn't get paid but goes along to them to help her). Anxiety can't be that bad then. He rides his bike around town everyday perfectly fine with those 'dodgy knees' he's getting over £700 a month in pip, rent paid for and UC on top. Buying himself £500 VR technology - living better than most of us in full time work. Now boasting about how he's going to get a car through his pip

On another hand my DB who's diagnosed ASD, ADHD, Bipolar, anxiety and depression and absolutely cannot hold down a job and has a load of additional needs where he needs my mum as a full time carer to cook, clean, do his washing etc..was denied and had to go through tribunal. It took years and eventually he was reimbursed over 20k after all medical evidence and evidence from schools, then past jobs all came together

So it seems the ones who aren't genuine with bull shit excuses get it pretty easy no fuss (and yes you can go to your doctor and say you have anxiety and that is a medical note (how does your doctor know if your talking shit, they usually flog you off with medication - that you don't need to take - and there's your 'evidence) , then the ones generally struggling have to go through all the hoops to get what they SHOULD.

scanni · 21/02/2025 16:46

@Butterfly292828

That 'info' is not accurate in any way.

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 16:28

Fencehedge · 20/02/2025 23:32

Attendance Allowance is for pension age. It can be applied for at two different rates. Rate 1 is if you need assistance because you have care needs that mean you are unable to look after yourself for the past at least 6 months (£72 pw). Rate 2 is fast tracked and higher rate for those given less than 12 months to live (£108 pw). I believe non-means tested and given on top of pension / pension credits. The associated full time carer can also apply for carer allowance (£82 pw)

👍🏻 Thanks for the info

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 16:25

LakieLady · 21/02/2025 14:47

I don't work with clients over pension age, so have little knowledge of AA, I'm afraid. And she may be out of time for an appeal.

Age UK or Macmillan would be best placed to help your friend, they're specialists in benefits for older people and people with cancer, respectively.

Oh that’s an idea, The MacMillan. Thanks 👍🏻

Butterfly292828 · 21/02/2025 16:11

Anonforthis58 · 21/02/2025 09:54

That’s not correct. AA is 2 parts - daytime care and night-time care. You don’t have to be actually receiving the care, it’s based on whether you need care. So if you’ve struggle with the given activities through the day and night, you would be awarded enhanced rate. If you only struggled through the day you’d be awarded standard rate. This is obviously subject to them accepting your conditions and difficulties.

Ahh got you. Thanks so much.

dottiehens · 21/02/2025 16:09

Report him. People work their arses and pay taxes for genuine cases not for con artists claiming and taking away from real claimers.