Children- would you do it again?

I'd do it sooner so I could have had more than one.

Raising a disabled daughter hasn't been easy, but it is by far the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I'm a better person for having done it.

Absolutely I would. I spent my 20s doing things like travelling, living with friends, going out a lot etc. So there weren't any things I felt I was missing out on. Any goals or bucket list items I had left are ones I can do with my son. I don't feel I'm missing out on anything.

The day to day life with a young child is obviously tough a lot of the time, but never so tough that I regret doing it. The good bits more than make up for it. And the "tough" bits aren't that tough really, I'm very lucky in that regard.

I do think if we'd had a second child, I'd have massively regretted it. So I'm glad we're stopping at one.

Although I’ve found raising children incredibly tough, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. My husband died young and I don’t think I’d be here today if it wasn’t for my children.

Yes, but I had one by choice, and at the end of my 30s, so didn’t miss out on fun.

I never have done, neither did I ever have the need.
I get bashed a lot when I say children take everything and give nothing, in one thread I said they ruin lives.
Since my own very strict childhood, where we were supposed to be seen and not heard, where cuddles or hugs were seen as weakness, I quietly observed other women.
The happiest were widows, singletons or child free ones.
The most tired, crying, haggard looking and laughed at (yes, like us kids) were the ones with husbands and small kids.
Most men were really off putting, shouty, nasty, stinky, drunken bastards.

Married, 46, born in a former Communist country.
Life for women was dire and I couldn't wait to escape both "home" and the emotionless robots my "parents" were.
All good. 😊

This nails it perfectly. I worry a lot about how the world will be when they need to make their own way into it. If I could turn back time I probably wouldn't have them just on that basis.

My feelings have changed as mine got older. I loved the gruelling early days and enjoy my 3 kids now but I'd have had them younger and maybe just one?

Feel terrible for even thinking like that!

Yes i would, she's been the best thing to ever happen to us. Very happy we stuck at 1, she's been an easy kid and at age 8 it just keeps getting easier (for now, who knows what teen years might bring!)

I would still have been a mother but because of CoL I would have probably only had one child. I’m very lucky to have had kids before CoL took off.

If you didn't have DC you wouldn't be the person you are now with a career/better travelled, you'd be another person (potentially curious about who you'd have been as a parent).
I would have been more selfish and materialistic and accepted my exH narcissistic behaviour.
My DC have needed me to be a better version of myself.

Yes, absolutely.

I had my son at just shy of 35, and probably won't have another. I thoroughly enjoyed my 20s and early 30s, and although I have had a setback in personal ambitions such as publishing my novels, and I never saw myself as especially motherly, I have absolutely thrived as a mum.

I earn a decent wage and have no big career ambitions. I'm happy to save and invest, and enjoy exploring the world with my son as he grows up.

Have I been tired, and has my relationship suffered? Yes, sure. But only in temporary ways.

I love having my boy, and I can't wait to teach him so many things.

It possibly has helped that prior to having my son, I went through a medical crisis, and an acute phase of anxiety/burnout. Any difficulty I've had as a mum could not compare to those in the slightest. I have never been as tired, scared or unwell as I was in those times, so having a baby was a doddle by comparison.

I didn't want children either, then I had one, loved it so much, had 2 more and have no regrets whatsoever.
Life has more depth. Yes, the worries and stress can greater but so is the joy and fun.
I didn't sacrifice much either. I married a decent man who was happy to pull his weight and encouraged me to continue a social life and follow goals.

I did think it'd be hilarious though which it mostly is.

I think's thats how I approached it too really. Like an awfully big adventure!

Absolutely but I enjoyed my 20's thoroughly and don't feel like I've missed out on anything.

No

Absolutely no regrets. I have regrets about some of the big life decisions like certain houses we moved to, and not investing in a house when I was young free and single, and certain jobs and not being able to afford ski holidays, or even holidays abroad. But no regrets about having DC.

I was one and done had him when i was young i was 16 wouldn't change it for the world.
Hes now moved out and im free.
No regrets.
Im not 40 yet.

I didn't want to have children, but DP persuaded me it would be fun so now we have two. So I didn't go into it expecting it to be the ultimate fulfillment, I did think it'd be hilarious though which it mostly is. I was surprised at how much more interesting the bits I thought would be boring are (e.g. glacially slow baby development). I think my childfree life would also have been good, but I don't fantasise about having it back.

If I knew then what I know now......wow! I'd do SO many things differently.

When you know better you do better!

Would I have children ? Thing is, I wouldn't have married my ex husband (in this world where I'm 25 and I know what I know now!) .....so no, I guess not!

Not everyone is “wired” the same, I honestly don’t have a maternal bone in my body for anything other than a dog, but I recognised this very early on, and was lucky enough to meet a mate not bothered the same, so things dropped into place very well. I had a good career, travelled, holidayed, we did up our big old house, bought a horse, and I actually retired from my career at 45 and did something else that was very different and enjoyable. Life is on hold at the moment as I am sharing full time care for my Mum, but we still get out a lot, enjoy ourselves. And no, I don’t worry about there being no one around to look after me, because it’s not something I would expect a child to have to do. I am getting all my ducks in a row as much as I can, and prefer quality of life to quantity.

I wouldn't do it again, but only because my kids are grown up now so I'm far too old and knackered. However, I don't regret them at all and I don't think I sacrificed much. It was bloody hard work when they were small and didn't sleep, and every stage has brought it challenges - in fact DC 2 is currently giving me more grey hair because I think he's about to bomb his A level mocks - but they are also fabulous young adult human beings - funny, caring, great company etc and I feel ridiculously proud of them. It doesn't stay quite as gruelling as the early years, and the challenges become more emotional and less physical as they hit the teens, but as they get older you get more of yourself and your own interests back. Obviously I can't assume that they will look after me when I'm old and frail, and I have no right to expect that of them, but I know they love me and are good people, so I feel less scared about growing old in the relative certainty they they will at least come and visit sometimes and bring me joy.

I absolutely would.

Being a mother was never my dream, just an assumption. I love being a mother.

But. They aren't my only thread. I've never "sacrificed". Money, travel etc ...it's all just been what's it been.

As they get older, I enjoy them more. I always knew I'd love my children, but I was surprised by how much I actually like them. My 16 year old is a blast.

I wpuld. But then I'll also admit to being an 'accidental' rather than an 'intentional' mother.

I had no romantic, idealised view of motherhood. It was certainly never my dream and I was quite ambivalent about it all until I became pregnant.

I didn't sacrifice myself or my identity after having them. I went to university full time when each of them was of nursery age, I kept up my hobbies, they've both been to see.my bands play over the years and been told no as often as was necessary.

We've done camping at festivals together, they could both use the washing machine by the time they were 6 and I've not changed either of their beds or washed their bedlinen since then. We've spent Saturday mornings and 3 nights a week at gymnastics and dance and ferrying around to competitions and dance shows so my life hasn't been prioritised over theirs. I always recognised that I had a responsibility to them and their development, of course, but we were all prioritised at different times.

It's paid off. One graduated a couple of years ago and earns more than I do 🙄 the other is at university where she is thriving, still competing and will be training to coach too for next year. And the three of us are really close. I've spent most of it as a single parent, which, I think, helped.

It hasn't always been easy and we've never had loads of money, one is ND (but not severely) and the other was premature and diagnosed with some hearing loss at a young age but I'd do it all again with them (only them, mind). It's been a blast ❤️

So, so true. Must be a very different ball game when you have a wonderful partner to parent and live your life with.

I would but I didn’t find it at all easy!

I love having dc now they are young adults, they are such great people and good company, although I do worry about their futures, especially in light of recent events in the USA.

But the world seemed to click and made much more sense to me once I had them.

Also, being expats, the country we are in made more sense once I observed my dc going through the school system and discovering life here through their eyes.