Children- would you do it again?

Parenting alone is tough, you need people to share the load I think to not burn out and lose yourself.

And also it helps to have people to share the joy with. There are many joyful moments, but they are also quite private moments. The only people who will really find the amazing and funny things your kids do interesting are you and the other parent and very close family and friends. Your friends generally are unlikely to be interested.

It feels like a ridiculous exaggeration but it really has been the greatest joy of my life to have my kids.

That is not to say it is easy - one with ADHD and off the scale anxiety does not make it an easy life - but I would absolutely do it all again.

100% would have DC, more in fact but started late

Yes, they are the absolute loves of my life and I loved every stage of raising them (they are young adults now).

All day long, my three kids are amazing. I wouldn't swap my life with them for anything in the world.

I have four children and there have been moments!!
However, looking at it dispassionately, somehow we have managed to raise four well adjusted young people, who are also nice. They have all done stuff which drives me crazy, but they ( and we) have come out the other end relatively unscathed!!
At Christmas we were having a discussion and our eldest son said that one of his proudest moments was seeing me pick up my second degree in my early 60's. I was amazed that despite all his own achievements mine were important to him as well. We are also very fortunate in their choice of partners, as we love them all.
I do, however, worry about them all daily and will do so forever. That has taken a toll. The world is scary place and full of uncertainty.
On balance, I don't wish them away, but my life would have been easier without the worry, but they have enriched it in so many ways that selfishly, I wouldn't make a different choice.

100%. I would do it over and over. DS is just the light of my life. I am fortunate in that I have one very easy to parent child and am in a financial position where I can pick and choose what work I want to do and can work very part time and thus have plenty of time for myself now that DS is at school. I also have a DH who is an excellent hands on father.

Being a parent has enhanced my life in so many ways.

I’ve loved being a parent. My daughter is amazing (she is 8) I am trying for another baby but so far hasn’t happened (in fact currently having a MMC).

But I think a key thing for me is I have remained working full time in a job that pays well but isn’t too demanding. I have a supportive DH. Am close to my parents who live near and help. We have a lovely home, are ruthless about de-cluttering and make space for each other to have hobbies and a life and sleep.

Parenting alone is tough, you need people to share the load I think to not burn out and lose yourself.

Me too. Mine are now adults and I have grandchildren. Life would be so poor without them.
You can only have so many holidays and buy stuff before it loses its shine. I can never have enough of my children

No I wouldn't. I have a great OH and amazing family support but I've lost 'me'. to be fair, I'm in the thick of some quite turbulent teenage years so ask me again in a few years when they have (hopefully!) got past this stage and I may feel differently.

Absolutely. Hundreds times over. But we went through years of infertility ( although still trying to have a sibling - currently going into ivf round 6) and that honestly gave me a whole new perspective about life with a child. I appreciate so much more, my son is my world and I can never imagine life without children. But I had such a struggle to have him. Those who just have kids without thinking often don’t appreciate it.
I did always plan to have kids in my early thirties (and it worked out that way) so I made sure my twenties were travelling/ socialising / career/ getting a house so I don’t feel I have given up anything

@AtWitsEnd21 My second child cried all day everyday for about 2.5 years. I had deep regrets. Doctors could find nothing wrong. At about 3 he turned a corner. He is now 20, excelling at uni, does all his chores and hasn't given me a spot of bother since he was a toddler.
Don't abandon hope!

Yes. I love being a mum and I’ve found it very fulfilling. Nothing else has brought me as much happiness and contentment.

My children are older teens and young adults and I do worry about the world they’re going into though. If I was thinking of having children now, that is the thing that may make me hesitate.

I've never regretted having kids. There have definitely been challenges along the way but, now they've both just about reached adulthood, I often think what a privilege it is to be their mum and how much motherhood has taught me. I also think it's impossible to feel the love you have for your children in any other relationship.

Having said that, I'm looking forward to having a bit more money and hopefully a little less stress.

Yes, but only if I could start fairly young and had a very stable situation financially and a great partner.

I had my daughter at 36 with a monstrous narcissist and had to move out and start again. This has really set me back in a lot of ways.

I'm not surprised with such views - the tendency in today's Western world is to promote your own happiness and focus on yourself. I have a more traditional approach - life is not about you but about the future and making the future best for next generation and our job is to prepare our kids for the future the best we can. Having my kids was very hard, especially first 3 years with the eldest one who was hyperactive, but it has paid off in the end - I can see how intelligent and clever he is, how he starts to develop hobbies and can see a successful future for him - I'm really proud and happy for him. There will be a time when he grows up and then I can do something for myself and I cannot think why I would resent having him.

No I definitely wouldn't do it again if I had my time over.

I find the anxiety that having children causes me crippling.

Yes, I'd still have children. I'd choose a different father for them though, if I could. Our joy would have been much increased if they had a father who was emotionally and physically present for more of the time. I don't feel guilty or that I've let them down because I see so many useless, self-indulgent fathers and so few that I'd actually swap theirs for (he's in no way Dad of the Year, but he provides for them, takes them places, occasionally cares for them and occasionally engages with them on some level).

I also don't understand the "if it was so tough, why didn't you stop at 1?" arguments. I can totally understand why some people might prefer to have one child, but not all of us would have found one easier. It's a different family set-up. I had a fairly large age gap between my two so my older one was an only child for a good long while before the younger one came along, and although two have been physically and logistically more challenging, they have also been easier emotionally for me as I don't have to constantly 'make the party'. I get more downtime with two than I did with one. Ultimately, it's personality-dependent - it depends on the children and it depends on the parents.

No 😂

Yes I would. I was never particularly maternal until I had them. But they are my biggest achievement, and now my grandchildren are continuing the joy.

I honestly wouldn’t. I’ve loved being a parent but despite that I’d do life differently if I can a replay.

Mine are older - young adults & teens - and life is just so tough. I can’t see much good for them in the future.

I wouldn’t. It’s too hard, I feel like it’s changed my whole personality.

I wish I’d aimed higher than just giving birth, there’s more to life than that.

Its hard to say now that my child is actually here, but I certainly wouldn't want to handle the stress, the sleeplessness, all the negatives of having a child.

Yes I would do it again. I would have liked to have them a couple of years earlier (but it wasn’t to be) . I would also prefer to have worked less in the early years - but economic reality dictated that one.

I think answers will depend on circumstances. How helpful partner is, whether grandparents are involved and helpful, whether you work
PT/FT, how much money you have, if you’re a SAHP, the disposition and personality of your child/ren, if there is any SEN etc…