Children- would you do it again?

Yes I would definitely have them again. If I could do it again I would go for a third.

I'd absolutely have them again. It's the best thing I've ever done ( yes and the most difficult).

No, I wouldn't. I'll be an empty nester after the summer and I feel as though I'll finally be able pick up where I left off with my 'real' life - except I'm 25 years older, my health and energy levels are much worse and I seem to have lost all my money.

I could have improved my parenting experience and performance by (a) having a less rubbish partner and (b) getting therapy to deal with my own childhood experiences before having children of my own, but over all I think having children is a massively overrated pastime that fewer of us are temperamentally suited to than our culture encourages us to believe.

It doesn't mean that I don't love them, but I don't relate at all to the comments about parenthood being a joy or a privilege or my life's fulfilment.

If I had my time again knowing what I now know (as a mother of two, age 7 and 11) I would do it again in a heartbeat. I really didn’t understand anyone who enjoyed life before I had children. I wondered what the point of it all was, then my very unplanned dd came along and changed everything. Watching my kids grow has so far been an absolute privilege. Don’t get me wrong being a mum is really hard and I worry about the world and their future but they are the most funny, beautiful little people to me and I absolutely wouldn’t want to live in this world without them.
I haven’t hit the teens yet so fingers crossed it stays this way 😆.

I have two, now well grown up. One I gained by natural means, one I gained,not as a baby, by adoption. Yes I would go down both avenues again and Yes we have had our moments! .... with both of them !

Travelled all over the world for 20 years with DH and then had a child when we were in our 40’s. We’ll retire before he starts secondary school. I literally wouldn’t change a single thing.

Absolutely! We have so much fun.

I feel very much the same as this. Mine are 20 and 16 and life was very tough emotionally for many years (largely because of their emotionally abusive dad). Even now, the scars are deep, the unreached potential is huge imho, the financial repercussions are utter shite, I'm just...not me any more. Not the kids' fault. I adore them. But no way would I have kids if I had my time again - unless I could be 100% certain about a lot of things that nobody can be. It has all really taken its toll.

At times I would have said no I wish I hadn't but now they're six and eight I'd probably do it all again if I relived my life. I'm open to it changing again and ultimately it's fairly pointless pontificating, I've done it and it's had such a global impact on me and my life and who I am I'm not sure I could pick apart who I'd be, how my life would be if I'd chosen differently.

Absolutely! Mine are adults and raising children has been wonderful.

A few testing times between the ages of 13-15 when they enjoy being challenging at times so my answer might have been different had you asked me then!

I'm very close with my siblings and all of my family so I think that has definitely shaped all of our relationships.

Until I split with my exh I would have said I wish I didn't have kids as I was exhausted. Now he has gone, I realise it was him that was the stress and life is great! I have a life outside of kids - work full time, see friends, go away etc, but love being with them too. However, I'm pretty keen on them amusing themselves so they don't demand a lot from me. I say no alot when they used to want stuff, so they don't demand things they know they won't get, and I would say I'm pretty strict about phones and tablets etc so they aren't too affected by social media. When my 9 year old gets to high school, I'm fully expecting things to get harder as she has rebel written all over her. For now, it's all good.

I second this! I have experienced pregnancy loss before I had my children and I think I would be so miserable if I didn’t have them. They fulfil my life. I don’t think I’ll be saying on my death bed that I regretted having them, but if I didn’t have children I think I would definitely be saying I wish I had them. I’m in the thick of it too, I’m extremely tired with 3 under 4 but I know this is just a phase and there is so much in life to look forward to with them. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. It’s hard but it’s what life is about.

I didn't 'choose' to have my children, they just came along. I love them fiercely and wouldn't be without them, but if I went back to my late teens again and didn't already know how fabulous my children are I still wouldn't want to have any.

Do you mean if you could rewind the clock to your pre-child years but you know what you know now?

If so, I'd assert that the answer is far from straightforward. It is easy to give an answer now when lookking at it from a logical perspective. Go back to your 20's and your maternal instincts would surely be back as well, and emotion tends to override logic, so I reckon many people who say they now wouldn't have children again given the opportunity to travel back in time very likely would.

I only had one and I highly recommend it! I would definitely do it again, for me it is the thing that has given my life the most meaning. With having only one I don't really worry about his future as we will be able to help him out a lot.

I would. But if I could choose and still have the same kids I have now, I'd have them maybe 5 or so years later than I did.
I was 21 when DS1 was born and 29 when our last DC was born. I don't regret any of them but I wish I'd have a few more years of child free life.

no I wouldn’t!

I would. My DD is the best thing ever.
I could say that some of the career / education choices I made PRIOR to having kids could have been better.
But any change to my life meant I wouldn't meet my husband on have my DD wouldn't be worth it IMO.

I would remain husbandless not childless.

My child has a very serious medical condition. Our life has many many hospital appointments, fears, stresses, financial burdens, worries and heartbreaks. And yet I would choose my son and the life we have again and again and again and again. He is everything to me, and the joy and pride he has brought to my life is something I will forever be grateful for and celebrate. I just feel so damn lucky that he’s mine and my husbands.

I had a very very happy life before he came along - but he’s made it better. Even if this life looks very different to the life I thought I’d have with children.

It’s a hard one….i could never regret having my daughters but I totally underestimated how hard it would be and kind of wish I had only had one and not a second (BUT I love my second so much). They are currently 3 and 8 months and I’m shattered emotionally and physically and don’t feel like “me” anymore. I think having a second has highlighted the cracks in my relationship with my husband and I have days when I do wish I had no husband, kids or responsibilities…..but then my daughter will give me a hug or a kiss and I know I’d do it all over again to have them both.

Yes - I adore my children. Had them in my 30's so had life before them and now they're at uni I miss them. Glad to see them when they come home but equally glad they are out living their lives.

Nope 🥺😊

I would, but only if the circumstances were the same as they were again.

Was fortunate enough to travel and do most things I really wanted to in my 20s with DH, also established a decently paid enjoyable enough career which has meant paying for childcare, help around the home etc has been possible to make life easier- we can also both work part time whilst having enough to live off. Our DS has really been an amazing addition to the life we had built together, I'd do it all again. I can imagine my answer would be very different in different circumstances!

Difficult.

Being a parent has changed me in such a positive way.

But I have the guilt of bringing a human into the world with very poor mental health who may never live independently.