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Original poster

Children- would you do it again?

287 replies

AtWitsEnd21 · 20/02/2025 09:31

I was scrolling the other day and came across a viral video of a mother saying her dream was to be a mother but it hasn’t been what she thought it would be and wished she had dreamed bigger. Many of the comments were from mothers saying if they had the choice again, they would remain childless.

Personally, I have mixed feelings. Having children has meant extreme sacrifice- stress, sleep, money, interests, an always clean and tidy house, nights out and away, my appearance has suffered because I’m so sleep deprived I look about 10 years older. I love my children more than anything but it has been so hard.

Just interested in what other people’s feelings are

OP posts:
peachgreen · 20/02/2025 09:46

Hmm. Having children showed me that I could have had a happy and fulfilling life without children, something I didn't believe before I had them. It would have been different but equally good. And part of me does yearn for that life.

That said, I would definitely do it all again if I could be guaranteed to get DD, because she is basically perfect and worth every ounce of sacrifice, but I don't know if I'd run the risk of having a different child.

OpalFruitsYay · 20/02/2025 09:46

I wish I’d frozen my eggs and waited 10 years to have them. So unfair men don’t have to worry about biological timings!

Also wish I’d focused on my career more, and travelled more, and bought a house earlier rather than renting for years!

2chocolateoranges · 20/02/2025 09:45

I would it all again but would have bought a bigger house to begin with and had one more child. Dh only wanted 1 we compromised on 2 but I’m sure if we had more room I could have persuaded him to have another one.

ssd · 20/02/2025 09:44

I definitely would. I have an empty nest now. Its shit. I feel lost and empty without them. Id hate to feel like this all my life.

RoundLid · 20/02/2025 09:43

Best thing I ever did and the greatest joy of my life. If I had my time again I'd have twice as many.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 20/02/2025 09:42

I absolutely would. It’s always been my biggest dream to be a mother and I would say having a child is everything I thought it would be. It is very hard, but I was expecting that, and it’s also amazing and rewarding.

Attheendoftheday86 · 20/02/2025 09:42

I would absolutely have them again! Mine are 9 and 12 and pretty low maintenance currently. The first 5 years were really hard going with sleep deprivation but also full of so much joy! Also through having children we've made both sets of our parents grandparents and brought everyone even closer. They have definitely brought purpose and more meaning to my life. I think if I hadn't had children I'd be feeling a little lost. Richer...but lost.

RisingSunn · 20/02/2025 09:41

Yes - I think because I travelled so much/enjoyed myself thoroughly throughout my 20s/early 30s that I don’t have any FOMO.

So now (though stressful and hard at times) I’m just enjoying life in a different way. With the little people I love the most.

exhaustedpigeon101 · 20/02/2025 09:38

I think I probably would have done, but I'd have stuck with one and I'd have had that one maybe 5 years later than I did

Don't get me wrong I love them both with my entire being but they're bloody hard work 😂

tulippa · 20/02/2025 09:36

I wouldn't. Nothing to do with the effect they've had on me, finances, career etc. My DCs are amazing and enrich my life so much.

However, I constantly worry about their future and the world I've condemned them to grow up in. It's not fair that I've forced that upon them and I didn't think carefully enough at the time.

RobinHeartella · 20/02/2025 09:35

I’m so sleep deprived I look about 10 years older.

Ugh, me too. I'm so so so tired.

However, I'm clinging onto the hope that things will get easier. How old are yours? Mine are 4 and 1, I'm in the thick of it.

I think that if I hadn't had kids, there'd come a time when I'd have felt sad and regretful. I don't regret having them, I just wish it was a bit easier atm

AuntieMarys · 20/02/2025 09:34

No I wouldn't

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