Just a question re transgender

Ah I see. I don’t get the semi colon thing?

Ah I see. I was specifically saying the earlier GP poster was judgemental. I do actually think some other posters are being judgemental but almost in an opposite way to you. I’m sorry your care has been impacted. I have a lot of sympathy as someone also with a serious disability who has not received great care on many occasions

I agree and, based on my own experience as a young adult, I was often searching for the 'reason' or thing that would a) explain why I felt the way I did (disconnected, constantly fearful etc) and b) legitimise it in the eyes of others (and my own).

I needed understanding and empathy and it's difficult to explain and for others to comprehend the effects of long-term emotional/psychological abuse.

@GoingPotty39 OP is talking about two different people. The one she looked up left a nasty comment on the paralysed person's post.

The person was paralysed? So not surprising they might have chronic pain and be depressed associated with that? At 18 I can only imagine it would be devasting to become seriously disabled (as someone who has had serious and quality of life limiting disability from my early 20s.)

@GoingPotty39 Yes, I'm replying to you because you commented on this thread being judgmental. I'm saying that as one of the people using a sharp tone in this thread, I am extremely exasperated by self diagnosis, tiktokers spreading misinformation constantly, illness as identity politics, and so on. I know with absolute certainty (due to various factual things too lengthy to get into) that this "trend" has caused me real harm by impacting doctors' views of some of my medical issues.

@drasticdonkey The impact of identity politics on people with genuine disabilities has been absolutely horrific. Most actually disabled people have always wanted to live normal lives and not be othered or defined by disability. But the identity politics schtick has been forced into our spaces and basically taken them over, to the point that it's now totally interwoven with other "identity" based beliefs, and you get all the other things you've mentioned cropping up too.

When everyone thinks that a given group of people is something you can identify into at the drop of a hat, it causes harm. But of course that's a very unpopular view these days

Yes. Another thing they do is use this identity stuff to bully others and show everyone what a "good" person they are. I mean, they claim to be the most empathetic, but how was that response in any way showing empathy to that poster?

@verysmellyjelly was this meant for me? I was replying to a GP, different username. Are you saying that because others have self-diagnosed/faked it’s impacted care you receive? Or are you the GP talking about medical care you give? I thinking faking illness is wrong, albeit in some cases people doing this may be mentally ill which deserves compassion. Self-diagnosis is tricky. It can be very difficult to get medical care/diagnosis for certain conditions so some people might do it out of desperation. As someone with POTs I have generally found many health care professionals ill informed and some have been judgemental or sceptical. I don’t know if that’s because of other people self-diagnosing/faking, but I suspect more likely due to years of under-funding and disbelieving women’s health issues

@GoingPotty39 I'm judgmental because the impact of self diagnosis and faking has directly had a negative impact on my medical care.

I have a personal theory about neurodiversity and trans identity which is that for neurodivergent people, especially on autism spectrum, the expectation of 'performing' as an assigned gender is another layer of discomfort in an uncomfortable world and being able to 'take that off' just makes it easier for them to move through the world. Transitioning socially has had a very positive effect on an autistic relative and enabled them to re-engage with education and be happier and more confident

I wanted to be a boy when I was very young, because it was shit being a girl.
In my teens, I never really fit in (too tall, too competitive, too impulsive, too not- pretty and feminine), but found my alternative tribe and again in uni.

It's 30 years ago now and I wonder how many of us back then would have decided we were actually surface trans? I know 2 at least in adult hood have been dx with autism and adhd. I too, work in schools, so see lots of adhd girls. I see myself in lots of them. But my son is autistic, so perhaps...

What is interesting though, is that you don't very many cool kids transing; not many dodgy little road men suddenly deciding they want to be a girl; Peggy-Soo-Maey wanting to go by 'Kevin', discarding her talons and cutting back on the fake tan and bleach.

Yes it is all linked. Birds of a feather stick together. They are trying to find their flock within a world that feels overwhelming and uncertain.

There's so many of them! It's actually quite shocking! I think I know who you mean, she's a frequent subject of discussion on the Reddit Illness Fakers sub.

There's a girl on tiktok with tubes up her nose who is constantly faking seizures online. She's buys all her medication and equipment on Facebook etc. She had anorexia and says she's autistic. I'm sure they'll make a Netflix movie about her one day

No, I wouldn't assume someone in real life is faking an illness, of course not.

The thing is, these so-called "sickfluencers are usually very easy to spot online once you know what you are looking for, and they usually have a long list of things "wrong' with them that fit a specific pattern.

Linked it to OP's post because they are often exactly the type she describes and they will often adopt other identities such as trans, nerdy, even faking autism.

There have been proper studies on this kind of thing. It seems to be getting more common because of social media, and the ease with which you can just claim these things and get away with it (and get lots of attention) whereas it would be much harder to fool people for very long IRL.

Fair enough, I don’t disagree that some people fake illnesses. I remember there being a woman who faked cancer as part of a financial scam a few years ago. However, on the absence of credible evidence, I think we should assume this is the exception rather than the rule. I’m not sure how faking these illnesses links to the OP? And I really hope that if you come across someone IRL with an illness that you don’t assume they are faking it

I didn't say absolutely everyone was faking them though, did I? Obviously that isn't the case. A lot of people have been exposed doing just that over the years though. They usually have a whole host of other issues at the same time, so it's obviously a mental health thing, a bit like Munchausen.

Here's an article about it: www.vice.com/en/article/tiktok-sickness-ehlers-danlos-syndrome-munchausens/

It's generally considered to be an autism/ADHD presentation, like anorexia and self harm (I work in schools). I think parents and teachers are fairly wise to this now. If you think about it, black and white thinking feeds into the whole 'I don't like being a girl so I must be a boy' narrative.

Well exactly, there have been studies that have been shut down or not approved as it is deemed unethical/ transphobic to even research this issue.

Fake them? Based on what evidence? I’m sure some people do fake illnesses of all kinds, same way that some people don’t pay their taxes or abuse children, but we don’t tar everyone with the same brush

I listened to a podcast recently from a therapist who had previously worked with many young people who were trans.

She eventually realised it was doing more harm than good, as she said the gender issue was one area that could not be challenged or questioned, so it was like the elephant in the room.
She also stated that she didn't see these young people making progress or getting better over time, and often they seem to obsess about their perceived gender over and above other things.
Plus, as you say, it is very dependent on other people's opinion/ perception of you, which is something we cannot control. Which is quite an unhealthy thing.

I mean, the major issue really is that the so called 'solution' to a young person questioning their gender identity is often to put them on hormones or give them surgery. Which is complete madness.

But if you say that in certain circles you are a horrible bigot/ nazi etc. etc.

This is true, but it's also true that a lot of people fake these illnesses (and things like tourettes, DID and even cancer) online. Tons of them have been exposed over the years.