To leave a four year old downstairs alone for about an hour?

I didnt say they're at home all week apart from 2 days at nursery. My kids get a lot of time outdoors too but I still wouldnt bath them everyday. Covered in mud fine, but going to the park, for walks, on a bike ride etc not really necessary in my opinion. They can have a quick wash or wipe down with a flannel but really dont see the need for a full on bath. If people want to do that then fine thats their perogative but I wont be doing that with mine.

I think the dark probably does make it feel a little different, and there’s always the social pressure to be constantly available and entertaining our children (which is terrible for our children btw). But I also think it’s just natural to have to reign in our anxieties and hesitations a bit. Logically, nature will favor having a bit of extra worry that we override after evaluating the actual risks versus being under-anxious and missing risks completely.

And it’s just different being the adult responsible for making choices for others. I was constantly in the kitchen when I was a child - my mother encouraged us to participate in cooking from toddlerdom and by 10 I could cook a roast dinner and bake a cake from scratch unaided. I don’t have any specific memories of restrictions on knives, heat or other tools (though obviously there must have been some early on) because my mother focused on teaching me to do things safely and let me do anything I could manage. As a nanny and now a mum it’s been important to me to foster the same competency (and hopefully love), but I still find myself cringing and second guessing handing a preschooler a small knife, letting an older child take the biscuits they made from the oven, or giving a tween permission to use the cooker to heat simple foods when home alone. I know logically that it’s ok and that I’ve evaluated and managed the risk and taught them what they need in order to do it safely, but I still have that deeper protective instinct itching at me. Figuring out when those anxieties actually require protective action and when I need to just deal with them internally and not restrict or burden my children just to make me feel less insecure (or in control or needed) is a constant challenge.

People can't imagine lives that aren't their own. So if their child is in nursery for a couple of days and the rest of the week doesn't do much outdoor activity or get dirty, they can't imagine any other way. So it's "bad for their skin", "a waste of water", and "they don't really need it"

As though all children are the same. Well, of course if your child mostly stays at home they're not going to get very dirty.

@GreenFields07

For the most part no, sometimes yes 🤷🏻‍♀️

In spring and summer there are often weeks of washing every day. Some kids are mucky like that. We're in the woods or at the beach most days or he's flying about on his bike in mud. 2 days of nursery and the rest of the week chilling at home won't need a lot of washing, lots of time outdoors will.

So not every night then.

She’s hopefully been banned!

Crazy poster!

Was @Botanybaby responding to my comment about my DH being at work ?

it’s been deleted, so I can’t see.

@GreenFields07

Yeah fair enough if they're dirty from nursery, mine only go twice a week though, rest of the time they're with me or family. I know they dont need a bath after a day chilling with me or my mum. Its such a waste of water and they really dont need it everyday. It surely cant be good for their skin.

Depends on the kid. Mine is in nursery 3 days and needs washed each night. The rest of the week we're very outdoorsy so he often needs a bath on those nights too. Not a bath every night, but certainly 3 nights at least, sometimes 4 or 5.

It's a large toddler tub, not a whole bath run just for him. But he needs a good wash because he's one of those kids who grabs life by the bollocks and is constantly in nature like a wild creature.

His skin is fine.

@Botanybaby

What a sad life for your kids with a dad who favoured work to spending time with them

What a disgusting thing to say

I am about to become a first time mum and reading this has horrified me, people acting as if this is neglect to leave a 4 year old unattended for 1 hour?! When I was that age and younger I’d happily play by myself in separate rooms from my parents completely unsupervised, and outside too!! The constant monitoring sounds intense

Yes you can have the post removed

There's a difference from been away from you for a few minutes as you pop to the loo or they play in the play room while you pop for a brew

Than leaving a child completely alone for an hour ... At 4

If your home had any of that, then you need to look to yourself!

Every bookshelf should be attached to the wall, no way should it fall - go and do yours tomorrow.

No TV should be so badly attached to a wall, or stand it falls over by an indoor football hitting it - go and sort yours tomorrow.

No parent should leave a blister pack of sweeties - get those parents out of your house immediately, they’re so careless.

No parent should leave a pan of hot water on the stove, see above.

I’m not worried about OPs home, but yours if you think any of those are ever acceptable and an “accident” I’d not bring a child into your home.

Shocking

Delete the post if you dont want more answers. Mumsnet Facebook page posts these a few days after they're posted on the site so you're always going to get delayed responses. No need to be rude for people still posting.

Yeah fair enough if they're dirty from nursery, mine only go twice a week though, rest of the time they're with me or family. I know they dont need a bath after a day chilling with me or my mum. Its such a waste of water and they really dont need it everyday. It surely cant be good for their skin.

What on earth for?

Totally agree about leaving him to it for a bit while she bathes her other child, but just as an aside... my child is bathed every night he's at nursery. They're outdoors every day and he comes home definitely in need of a bath!

And what would describe actual neglect as? As in baby P?