To leave a four year old downstairs alone for about an hour?

Whilst there wouldn't be anything wrong with that approach, there isn't anything wrong with what the OP is doing either.

OP, if your 4 year old is happy to play alone for a bit in a safe environment, that is fine.

It also gives you chance to spend dedicated 121 time with your youngest.

I blame social media for the fact that mothers feel guilty about just about everything.

I agree. There is a lot of parenting 'advice' and guidance out there but that's all it is. Advice and guidance. Ultimately, you have to decide what works best for your family in your circumstances.

It's also worth remembering that there are other factors to consider. House size for a start.

If the OP lives in a vast sprawling mansion and being downstairs might as well be in another wing of the house, concerns are fair enough. But if she, like me for example, lives in a 2 bed terraced house then downstairs is 5 seconds away and effectively in the next room.

And, as others have said, the child's personality makes a big difference. I could and left one of mine this way because he was completely compliant and wouldn't move from a given spot if told not to. The other, I couldn't because she'd have likely decided to remodel the house in my absence. I'd have got downstairs to find her taking a lump hammer to a supporting wall and telling me she'd decided we needed an open plan kitchen/dining room.

Presumably, the OP knows what sort of child she has and wouldn't be doing it if it felt dangerous.

I'm in the same boat in that I need to put my 2 yo and 3yo down separately. When the youngest was a baby I could just put him in the cot and walk out and he'd go to sleep, it was easy! Now we have books and he's moved to a big bed the whole thing is taking so much longer. If my eldest is there they end up mucking about or bickering etc. I was considering letting her watch TV as she'd be glued to it so no worries there but I don't really want her watching screens before bed.
We have a yoto but she'll only listen for 5 minutes.
Can you get him to help you with bath time and then he can have the iPad after? An hour is long time to be on a screen before bed is my only thought.

Entirely depends on the child. My eldest child would have rearranged the furniture into an assault course and dismantled the TV in that time.

Quick bath, then joint storytime seems like a good compromise.

Why can't the 4 year old join after the bath for the teeth, books etc? Just the bath can't take too long.

So you could still do this second part of routine? I don't get why you can't have your 4 yr old upstairs during the toddlers bedtime routine just because the bath situation has changed.

Toddler has bath. 4 year old watches TV.
Toddler out of bath. 4 year old comes upstairs and does teeth and gets ready for bed.
Toddler story time with you. 4 year old listens to audio stories.
Toddler asleep. Story time with you for the 4 year old.

Yes see my last post for next suggestion.

I don't see a particular issue with it every other night but also think it would be fine for him to just have longer time upstairs listening to his Tonie box on nights he isn't bathing.

Do you lotion him straight after? Or send him to bed dry?

Can’t they bath together? Or if not, do a 15 min bath one after the other.

Read the OP again. You don't even have to read the whole thing; just the first couple of sentences.

The world has gone mad! You are in the same house it's fine unless you live in a mansion. Most 4 years old would sit and watch tv on their own safely. He's been ok up until now what makes you think he suddenly going to put the oven on or escape!

I would either only keep him downstairs for the 15 mins or so you’re bathing toddler if you don’t want him upstairs with you then bring him up, or just do what you used to do (minus the bath) so he’s upstairs with you pottering in his room/reading/books/listening to his Tonies/chatting with you?

How hot a bath are you running?

I find that a hot bath is terrible for my eczema but a warm bath plus lots of moisturiser, as my consultant recommends, is brilliant

No they don’t!

Who has given you this advice on the eczema?

The limiting baths thing is quite old fashioned advice though many GPs are not up to date on eczema

Both me and my son see a consultant dermatologist and the advice from her is very strongly in favour of daily baths - but not too hot and lots of moisturiser straight afterwards to seal in the water

Why can’t they just do this every night?

I wouldn’t leave my 4 year old alone downstairs for an hour not because they can’t be left but because they wouldn’t stay there on their own for that long, they’d come and find me anyway! But also I think it’s a bit strange to just leave them for an hour on their own just watching tv or the iPad. It’s a long time compared to say 10 minutes.

Can’t they bath together? Or if not, do a 15 min bath one after the other. Both upstairs whilst you change into PJs then read some picture books together in your bed one each side. Older one then goes into their bedroom whilst you put younger one to bed then you could read the older one a story before putting them to bed.

I would say it totally depends on the personality/behaviour of your four-year-old. If he can be trusted to just sit and watch TV that whole time, fine. If he's liable to start climbing the bookcases, then no.

I feel like the odd one out but I would only do this if I had a nanny cam with a speaker to keep an eye on him. My child was always getting up to some mischief whenever I turned my back

You know what's funny is I posted about a month ago about my almost 4yo (who is now evidently 4yo) and in the post I mentioned she went downstairs on her own and went into the fridge and got some chocolate out then came back to tell me she had got said chocolate.

Anyway I got completely roasted that she could go downstairs on her own.

Yet everyone in this post is saying you're the ridiculous one and he should be fine being downstairs completely alone for an entire hour.

I would personally say it depends on his personality, if you think he's going to start trying to make himself a cup of tea or use the microwave then absolutely not. But if he's just watching tv then yeah. You're the parent, do whatever you feel comfortable with. I don't think it's unreasonable to want him upstairs on the iPad though.

Because her 4 year old doesn't get to dictate where in the house he will be for an hour unsupervised. I know every child is different but what if he decides to answer the door or go into the kitchen and start microwaving food etc or wander off in the garden or stick a screwdriver in a plug socket 🤷🏻‍♀️Small children need supervision.