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AIBU?

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Original poster

To dump him for wearing glasses?

555 replies

ThisFluentBiscuit · 19/02/2025 23:41

Lighthearted AIBU.

I have a lovely sexy FWB. Problem: He permanently obscures his handsome face by wearing these awful glasses. He won't wear contacts - has tried them and hates them. His glasses are really unsexy, but it's hard to get them smaller because they're the bifocal type with a line across. He looks like a bank manager from the early Nineties. When he takes them off, he looks about 20 years younger and 10 times hotter. Drives me mad.

Also it's frustrating that I've got this handsome man who ruins all the general foxiness when we go out with these glasses. He sometimes sends me photos of himself - he's on holiday right now and just sent me a shot - and my vagina is starting to shrivel a bit at the bank manager look. It was OK for the first couple of years because it was all new, and we don't see each other THAT much anyway (although we're firm friends so we text a lot).

I'm beginning to realise that the glasses are going nowhere.

TLDR: His glasses are giving me the ick. Should I dump him for someone who's not perma-wearing a sexual impediment blazoned across his face?

OP posts:
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7
Dancingatthepinkponyclub · 20/02/2025 08:55

You sound like a twat.
My DH was bullied by his own brother for wearing glasses and now refuses to wear them even though contacts give him infections.
If you liked him you’d see past them.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 20/02/2025 08:55

ChompandaGrazia · 19/02/2025 23:42

I think you’d be doing him a favour. He can do better.

This, absolutely. How very shallow the OP sounds - like a mini puddle in a drought.

LaMarschallin · 20/02/2025 08:54

I suspect it cuts both ways.
You probably look better too when he takes his glasses off.

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 20/02/2025 08:53

I know this is meant as lighthearted but it is coming across really distasteful. Glasses are a disability aid - they are not an optional fashion accessory. Yes we can choose to make them look ‘nicer’ but don’t forget their actual purpose.

Contact lens are not a like for like swap - some people no bother but others (me included) find them really uncomfortable which becomes painful after a couple of hours.

He seems comfortable with his glasses while the OP seems very insecure about wearing hers.

OP are you sure you are both on the same page relationship wise? He knows you don’t want to live together/ get married but it sounds like he thinks you are more than FWB, sending selfies, going to the ballet…

LavenderFields7 · 20/02/2025 08:52

I think it’s okay to feel un-attracted to certain things in a partner, it’s mostly evolutionary, you can’t help it. Something in your genetics has associated a red flag with wearing glasses, and tbh procreating with someone who has a visual disability is probably not something that would benefit evolution - so it’s natural to not want this in a partner. Feel free to find another more suitable partner, without the guilt everyone else seems to be laying on thick!

RoundLid · 20/02/2025 08:51

He's not your boyfriend. If you don't fancy him, just stop sleeping with him.

SuperTrooper14 · 20/02/2025 08:50

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 08:22

I just don't want to tell him. It sounds awful and I don't want to hurt his feelings.. Am much more comfortable just moaning on here!

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Why not tell him? It's not a serious relationship. If he takes offence and buggers off, it won't be a great loss.

DoYouReally · 20/02/2025 08:49

Isn't that supposed to be the case with a FWB?

There's always an ick or a reason that you don't want a proper relationship. I'd everything was perfect, you woukd want more than just sex.

It's a case of are you enjoying the sex enough to overlook the issues that don't make the person the right one to have a relationship with?

Your mindset is baffling. Sex is a choice. You don't have to sleep with him!

Bluebellwood129 · 20/02/2025 08:49

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 20/02/2025 08:46

You don't sound old enough to be having sex.

I actually thought the opposite - the writing style and references in this thread reminded me very much of my grandmother

Katemax82 · 20/02/2025 08:49

I know it's a lighthearted thread but I can see why he won't wear contacts, I won't either as my eyes are always dry and I rub them a lot. Also my husband used to get on with them but one night forgot to take them out and one dried onto his eye and he injured his eye in the morning removing it! 8 hours in hospital and severe pain for him was the result

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 20/02/2025 08:48

I'd rather have a Friend With Bifocals .... and a nice cup of tea.

MeowCatPleaseMeowBack · 20/02/2025 08:46

You don't sound old enough to be having sex.

user4621786753 · 20/02/2025 08:45

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 01:05

YES. John Major.

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If you are old enough to know who John and Norma Major were, you are surely far too old to be this shallow.

TubeScreamer · 20/02/2025 08:40

Yes, you should dump him. He deserves better.

Biffbaff · 20/02/2025 08:38

Have you considered that he might not actually care what you think?

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 20/02/2025 08:36

BIossomtoes · 20/02/2025 08:28

Do fwb get a say? Stop shagging him so he finds a decent woman he can have a proper relationship with.

That's the thing. As someone with a FWB, I really think OP is blurring the lines. He's a friend you fuck. That's it.

Just find someone else. Tearing him down on the Internet is unnecessary.

BIossomtoes · 20/02/2025 08:36

mitogoshigg · 20/02/2025 08:33

Must be amazing to have perfect eyesight! Fellow varifocal wearer here. The funniest thing is now when we go out with friends the reading glasses get passed around to read the menu!

It is. After years of wearing glasses I had cataract surgery and now no longer need them. It’s blissful.

mitogoshigg · 20/02/2025 08:33

Must be amazing to have perfect eyesight! Fellow varifocal wearer here. The funniest thing is now when we go out with friends the reading glasses get passed around to read the menu!

NewHeaven · 20/02/2025 08:33

You're probably no oil painting yourself and don't forget anyone is easily replaceable in life.

IkeaJesusChrist · 20/02/2025 08:30

You don't go on dates with fuck buddies so I think the lines are being blurred here.

mnreader · 20/02/2025 08:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BunnyLake · 20/02/2025 08:28

ThisFluentBiscuit · 20/02/2025 08:22

I just don't want to tell him. It sounds awful and I don't want to hurt his feelings.. Am much more comfortable just moaning on here!

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Why would it hurt his feelings? His glasses are not him they're just a piece of removable face furniture.

BIossomtoes · 20/02/2025 08:28

Do fwb get a say? Stop shagging him so he finds a decent woman he can have a proper relationship with.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 20/02/2025 08:27

KirstyandPhilme · 20/02/2025 07:46

I think you mean JOHN Major.
His wife was called Norma.

At least get your names right.

Well, Edwina Curry found him very sexy- she referred to him as 'Big Man'.

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I am howling at Norman Major 😂😂

Shesafancyflapjack · 20/02/2025 08:24

’foxiness’ - is he Kel Knight and your Kath? Does Kim approve of his glasses?

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