Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Half/step siblings

456 replies

Pickledeverything · 19/02/2025 23:23

If your children have half or step siblings do you correct them when they say “brother/sister” so they use the proper term?

YABU - yes I do
YANBU - no I do not

OP posts:
Delphiniumandlupins · 20/02/2025 01:01

Why do you feel you need to "correct" your children? You're allowed to define your own relationships, so are they.

PinkArt · 20/02/2025 00:59

Pickledeverything · 20/02/2025 00:12

My child talks about their “brothers and sisters” often. They don’t have brothers and sisters. They have step brothers and half sisters. I’m sick of constantly having to correct them and then explain to other people the family dynamic because they are obviously confused. Several people agree with me as shown in my poll. They just haven’t spoken up yet.

So stop 'correcting' them then if you're fed up of doing it. They're probably fed up of you policing how their view their family relationships too. It's really sad and quite cruel that you do this.
Isn't it a good thing if you're all just siblings to a kid? They don't care about the biology or the label, just that that is their sibling. It's very pure.

HolyPeaches · 20/02/2025 00:59

Pickledeverything · 20/02/2025 00:12

My child talks about their “brothers and sisters” often. They don’t have brothers and sisters. They have step brothers and half sisters. I’m sick of constantly having to correct them and then explain to other people the family dynamic because they are obviously confused. Several people agree with me as shown in my poll. They just haven’t spoken up yet.

Eurgh. You sound VILE

Stop “correcting” your child and allow them to refer to their SIBLINGS how they wish.

McSpoot · 20/02/2025 00:59

nats2010 · 20/02/2025 00:37

Damn I voted wrong. Sorry.

You can change your vote - just click on the other option and your vote will change.

NC44 · 20/02/2025 00:55

I agree with you, OP.

A half is a half, a step is a step. They are not full siblings. Stating the difference is not hateful, it is factual.

I have a half cousin, and 11 full cousins. My favourite of all of them is the half cousin, and it does not negate the relationship in any way to state that we are half cousins.
I also have a step-sister, we were both 16 when her mother married my father, so pretty much adults, and not raised in the same house. Legally we were step-sisters (her mother divorced my father, hence legally I suppose she is my ex-step sister/past tense step sister), it's no skin off either of our noses to state that we are/were step sisters. I prefer her to my bio brothers too.

I think it is fine to be factual with your children. It does not diminish the relationship.

beachcitygirl · 20/02/2025 00:52

You sound weird and a pound to the penny that if they were "half siblings" on your side ie both your kids but different dads, you would absolutely not correct them.

AubernFable · 20/02/2025 00:52

They have the right to define their relationship without interference imo. I refer to my half sister as my little sister even though we aren’t close and to my step sister as my step sister/sister depending on the context.

Why does it make you so uncomfortable op?

Nanny0gg · 20/02/2025 00:47

Pickledeverything · 20/02/2025 00:20

Ok but I don’t want them to say brother and sister in my house, they’ve been told and still continue to do it. Am I the “psychopath” for correcting them??

What exactly is your problem with it?

Ihopeithinkiknow · 20/02/2025 00:43

I have got 2 step siblings and there are 8 of us in total and as far as any of us are concerned we are all brothers and sisters

DressOrSkirt · 20/02/2025 00:42

Pickledeverything · 20/02/2025 00:20

Ok but I don’t want them to say brother and sister in my house, they’ve been told and still continue to do it. Am I the “psychopath” for correcting them??

It's their house too and they want to say brother and sister.
So, yes, you are the psychopath.

BlondiePortz · 20/02/2025 00:38

well the word brother and sister is not wrong, if it is step or half they are still brother or sister so tecnhically there is no need to add the every increasing need for parents to have complex family situations, why do the kids have to remeber how each child is related in order to the add an extra word to the word brother or sister?

if adults want to complicate things that is on them

nats2010 · 20/02/2025 00:37

Damn I voted wrong. Sorry.

TheCatterall · 20/02/2025 00:36

Think of how you are coming across to your children. Think of how you are making them feel by taking such a stance on this. You are the adult and whatever has gone on and hurt you - stop projecting it onto them.

evtheria · 20/02/2025 00:33

Pickledeverything · 20/02/2025 00:20

Ok but I don’t want them to say brother and sister in my house, they’ve been told and still continue to do it. Am I the “psychopath” for correcting them??

Not a psychopath, but extremely petty.

One day they might feel differently - then again, they might not... It's up to them what term they feel most comfortable using.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 20/02/2025 00:32

I have 4 Sisters but they're really 2 StepSisters & 2 Half Sisters.

As far as we're all concerned we are Sisters.

I think it's petty & cruel to berate your DC by not allowing them to call their step siblings Brother or Sister

There's more to family than just blood.

Wheelz46 · 20/02/2025 00:29

Going to assume the step siblings and half siblings is to do with the ex partner.

If that's the case and you yourself had another child, would you be happy for them to call that child a brother or sister?

everychildmatters · 20/02/2025 00:27

Note the OP refers to "my" house and not "our" house. Somewhat telling.

Crochetcamel · 20/02/2025 00:27

And you just come across as someone who is obviously very bitter that their ex has moved on.

If they’ve had multiple kids since you split up it’s obviously been a good long while and you need to move on for both your well being and your kids

PinkPantheress · 20/02/2025 00:24

What’s the harm in referring to them as brothers and sisters? If my son referred to his half-sister who he has little contact with as his sister, I certainly wouldn’t correct him.

McSpoot · 20/02/2025 00:24

How old are the kids?

FaithFables · 20/02/2025 00:24

Pickledeverything · 20/02/2025 00:20

Ok but I don’t want them to say brother and sister in my house, they’ve been told and still continue to do it. Am I the “psychopath” for correcting them??

Yes, you are.

backawayfatty1 · 20/02/2025 00:24

You can insist but they will use the terminology they want behind your back & could well grow to resent you for making an issue out of it

Crochetcamel · 20/02/2025 00:24

You clearly don’t come from a large family 😂
If I had to explain exactly how my relatives were related to me every time I mentioned any of them I’d never get anything said

FaithFables · 20/02/2025 00:24

Is this a reverse? What kind of parent forces their kids to refer to their siblings as "half-brother/sister"? WTF is wrong with you?

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 20/02/2025 00:23

Pickledeverything · 20/02/2025 00:20

Ok but I don’t want them to say brother and sister in my house, they’ve been told and still continue to do it. Am I the “psychopath” for correcting them??

Yes. Yes you are.