Half/step siblings

Mine doesn't have any step or halves but I would be happy for them to be referred to as brothers or sisters. A good friend has four halves and my father in law had two steps: they were all called sister or brother.

I belive that the correct phrase as per the late Terry Wogan is "the current Mr everychildmatters" 😋

This post is quite illuminating. I have two DSC and they always referred to DC1 (joint with DH) as their sibling. Out of nowhere, they started using half-sibling, and correcting each other if they didn’t. This had come from their DM. She was very angry and jealous too. We all laugh about it now. It just makes ex look utterly pathetic

You do come across as very bitter that your ex has moved on and therefore being petty about his new family. We don’t know how he treated you and I’m sorry if he was a complete arsehole to you. But you should try to move on at this point for the sake of your child.

Your example above is a bit different. It’s okay to specify family dynamics when trying to explain specifics to someone. The parent in your example probably doesn’t want you thinking they have 10 children! So yes, there are times when it is okay to explain to others the half or step relationship. But for the most part if someone wants to use the term brother or sister, that can only be a good thing, meaning they have a good relationship with them and see them as such. It’s a shame you’re constantly trying to change that, OP. Would you feel the same if it were you with children from another relationship?

Some random kid? I’m sure he would have continued to see his step daughter regardless, given they were so close. She would never be a random child regardless. You clearly have an issue and your bitterness is transferring to your child, if you don’t stop it could affect your relationship. Relationships end, people move on. Your child’s happiness should be your no 1 priority.

Golly, lighten up lovely. It's not all about you - perhaps your child enjoys the inclusivity felt from just referring to them as siblings. I myself have 2 step siblings and two half siblings. I am alone in that I do not have any "true" or "full" siblings. However, none of my siblings refer to me as a half or step and neither do I in regards to them. I love them dearly and there's no need. It's actually a bit hurtful when people do separate us - if it was my own mother I'd definitely feel put out.

My son's Father and I are not together. I am not married to my new partner, he is not married to his. I have a new baby with my new partner. My son calls his Dad's "gf" step-mum... She loves it, I love it. She's wonderful and they've been together for a long time so it makes life easier. Likewise with my partner... My son refers to him as his step dad and his new baby sister as his sister. He recently asked if he had to call her his half sister and looked sad about it. I said of course not, do whatever feels right for you. it's wonderful for all.

Everyone's happy 😊 who cares what's the correct term. Dent your bitterness all you want. The majority of us are reading between the lines and personally I think you should go and give yourself some lovin', life is too short to be upset, cross, angry and to be putting those emotions onto your children.

All the best 🌺

wow. You just come across as bitter. Let your child use the language he wants. To say you can’t use that term in my house is ridiculous.

Your poll will be confused due to the way you worded it. The vast majority are saying you’re being massively unreasonable to police your child’s relationship like that. A brother or sister is more than just biology, I have friends who are closer to a step sibling than a bio sibling. No-one would say friend is wrong to refer to her step sister as her sister. I hope you take on board the comments for your child’s sake, as you are being very unreasonable, to your own child.

This response is so lacking in compassion that I can only imagine how insensitive you are to your own child.

This isn’t about you. These are their siblings.

I generally say brother, but if it’s relevant to the conversation I use the long winded “brother from my dad’s side” - I just can’t bring myself to say half.

Despite my mother having a difficult relationship with my dad’s first wife she never referred to him as anything other than my brother and always tried to encourage our relationship and as an adult I’m so grateful for her efforts.

Absolutely not. Who would do that. Actually I do know who, my mother who always used to correct my dad when he said he had a brother. Half brother she would chip in every time. My younger two have an older half brother (my son) but of course i’d never correct them and say half.

Why would I care?

Especially since she is the mother of their siblings.

So if your child tells anyone that she's got x brothers and sisters you can just add "at her dad's" to clarify. No need to say half or step unless your child doesn't like one of them. Then she will probably put in the epithet herself.

YABU and are perhaps causing a lot of anguish to your child. This is not about you. It’s about them. When parents try to police their child in this way, it often has the opposite effect to the one desired, and ends up pushing them towards the ex and their family. Because the dc wants to be part of that family. As a result they may just emotionally move away from the policing parent and towards the inclusive family.

Ive never heard a child refer to a step sibling as simply their sister or brother.

It's not up to the parents to decide how children see their relationships with their step/ half/ whole siblings. If they don't see a difference, that should be respected.

I say mine are half, if I ever refer to them at all, but that’s because I’ve never met them. Edit: they are half rather than step.

My brother is my brother -I wouldnt refer to him as my half anything. Neither do my sisters.

My step siblings I never lived with them and my Mum married their Dad when I was an adult, so in that context slightly different.

My husband lived from a young age with his step brothers and half sister, he just refers to them as his brothers and sister. His Mum who shared care hates the fact he calls them his siblings and often goes to correct him even at his age now - but she is just a very bitter ex wife in this situation (yes still 47 years since they divorced)

Context is important and how the relationship is with sibling.

"Psychopath' is a technical term and maybe not quite justified. I'd go with 'embittered and deeply unpleasant'.

Really OP, "one of my kids". They are not your kids, they are your patients.

Does your child live with their other parent?

We’ve been split up ten years and child in question is 12 so I’m not bitter. Just factual

Nope. You ARE bitter. And resentful. And you are trying to hide this behind ‘factual’ defence. Let’s face it, you won’t even be fooling your 12yo.

Why can’t you put yourself aside, let your 12yo, who is old enough to determine what they consider their relationship with their sibling to be and how they want to frame and term it. Be the bigger person and stop hiding it all behind the ‘fact’ crap.

I’ve been a step child with biological siblings, and I was a step-parent for many years previously. You really don’t need to carry on like this. Your child will not think highly of who you are being when they are older and look back, and who wants that.

Not a psychopath but very rigid and controlling.

The only person I know who determinedly "corrected" his children every time they referred to their half and step siblings as just siblings wonders now why his adult children have very little to do with him and are very close to their siblings...

In our house DS1 is technically DH's, DD1 and DD2 are technically like and the other three are ours. None of the older kids have ever used "half" about the younger kids and they dropped "step" at various points over the years when they felt like it.

Just like my girls chose when they referred to DH as their step dad. And when DS1 chose to refer to me as step-mum and then, many years later, as Mum.

Children growing up together shouldn't be prevented in expressing their sibling relationships the way they feel just because of adult pedancy, or bitterness. If they feel the same bond with their half or step siblings as they do with each other then let them enjoy that. It's hard to make a success if a blended family and sounds like they've done so

So you won't allow your DC to choose how they would like to address their own siblings but you are allowed to refer to your paediatric patients as 'my kids'...

My mum and step dad split up. Both my brother and I ( not biological his) have great relationships with him. In fact better than his biological kids do

I'm sure he doesn't consider us ": random " kids