Nursery staffs older children playing with my 14 month old

Kids are great with other kids. I've 2 ds. 18 and 16 and I childmind. Sometimes they come and say hi to the kids. Occasionally play guitar to them, play football etc. My eldest even teaches swimming to little kids. Is that wrong too?

Our yr 5 buddies with reception kids. Help them couple mornings a week with getting coats on, doing activities with them etc and same with yr 6 and nursery kids.
I'm not sure what's exactly your concerned about. That the staff are not doing their jobs?

This. Most dc love having tge attention of an older child

My only concern would be that he washes his hands to the same standard as nursery staff before interacting with the baby. Colds, flu and tummy bugs are always flying around amongst 7 year olds. Although, I suppose they fly around babies in nurseries anyway.

Honestly, your post has made me lose faith in humanity a bit. He is a young child playing with a baby, and your response is "it just feels weird that a significantly older child gets to be around my daughter and I have no idea who it is, what he's like and what they do together"?? Seriously, what is wrong with you - they're not even being left alone together? If you say that to the parent of this 7yo, expect them to be seriously offended. I would be.

When my first child went to a childminder at 12 months, the childminder had a 7yo daughter. They played together all the time; I was sent gorgeous photographs, and my daughter adored her daughter. My reaction was "how lovely that she is getting that special interaction with another child."

At a childminder there would be children of all ages. It's not the age or sex that bothers me, but the fact that there are clearly extra children there above the expected nursery ratios and potentially distracting the staff. Then again maybe the older children's presence is good entertainment for the nursery children. I don't think I'd say anything tbh.

My daughter works in a nursery and she is astonished they allow this.

Safeguarding risk assessments are carried out for absolutely everything they do. Has anyone risk assessed this kid? I'm not suggesting he would sexually abuse your daughter but there is all sorts of other stuff to consider.

The nursery is a business and will have insurance. Does the insurance cover this kid? I doubt it.

People are saying child minders have kids who would play with their mother's charges, but the mothers know about this when they choose the child minder. You are being forced into this.

Your daughter doesn't have much choice here and yet children in nursery are supposed to lead on just about everything.

If you want to stop it, tell management.

Oh.Good.Grief. The world’s gone mad…

Oh seriously, give over. People like this are what is wrong with this world, finding bad in everything. Poor boy.

Thus is just ridiculous.

I have no idea who it is, what he's like and what they do together

Well, he's male.

He's 7.

His Mum is a nursery worker.

He likes helping care for her by feeding her breakfast whilst under full supervision.

He probably talks to her and sings songs whilst under full supervision.

He plays with her under full supervision all of the time.

He's probably very sweet and cute and likes babies.

Other than that, what else is there to know? Were you expecting to see his school report and get references from three of his classmates?

‘That parent’ alert !!!!! 🚨

It dependson what you mean by "feed". At 14 months, I'm presuming he's not shovelling food into her mouth.

What a lucky child you have, who benefits from interacting with children of different ages. How fortunate that your child can experience a different relationship than with the adults around them, and the similar age children. Your child is exposed to different language, facial expressions, and play.

Why are you unhappy about it? Younger children love older children. Children of different ages mixing is a very natural thing. I think it's much better than just having all the little ones segregated.

This is clearly something that's happening for a few minutes before the boy goes off to school and while his mum is present and watching. They're not leaving him in charge for the day!

It's a similar set up to a childminder really isn't it? I wouldn't have a problem with it personally as long as you have no concerns about her care.

I think you have the absolute right to tell nursery you do not want a child feeding your baby. The rest YABU.
I'm a childminder so my minded children's parents know I have my own older children in the house and my youngest son who is 9 loves the babies... as in OMG they are so cute I want to play baby games with them. But he is in no way allowed to help feed etc - he totally would if I would let him but that's my job and responsibility.

There's nothing weird or untoward about an older child liking babies, good decent human beings like babies.

Some little boys just love babies and love to help taking care of them. It's good for the baby and nice for the little boy. I think if he was a girl it would be more taken for granted. It's a pity that we discourage little boys from helping and caring roles.

If it was a 7 year old girl would you feel the same?

It's this kind of shit that means boys are put off going into caring professions.

I remember when my eldest was a baby/toddler, older kids seemed huge and not 'cute'. Now I have a 6yo and 8yo I realise they are still small children, although are very sweet when looking after their younger cousins. It is meant to be good for children to interact with different ages, so as long as your DD likes it, it is probably a positive experience for her.

I agree with you OP , I wouldn’t like 7 y.o coming and feeding my 14 months old. WtF? There are health and safety rules. It doesn’t mean that your baby shouldn’t interact with older children but there is time and place for this.

Whilst I can't see the issue of a 7 year old wanting to play with a toddler I do feel the room age groups and ratios should be adhered to. My concerns would be an older child accidentally hurting a younger one or bringing small toys or food in.

it just feels weird that a significantly older child gets to be around my daughter and I have no idea who it is, what he's like and what they do together

Just wait until school. Over the two different primary schools my dc attended, in both it was common for the nursery and reception groups to mix with the Y5's and 6's - for help with reading and the older ones being playground monitors and whatnot.

If he was 17 you'd have a point. 7...no. YABU.

In contrast with the first few replies, this would bother me too. It's not an issue with the 7-yr old boy.
My issues would be that if my baby was being cared for in the baby room I would expect her to be in an age appropriate peer group, ie, only with other babies, not with older children; and also that the nursery will have a staff to child ratio and I'm assuming the staff's primary age children are not included in the nursery numbers and are therefore an extra distraction to the staff.
If you are paying for a specific level of care I would expect to receive that.
In short, you are not paying nursery fees to have your baby fed and entertained by a 7 yr old child.