Nursery staffs older children playing with my 14 month old

My children’s nursery takes children from 6 weeks to the day before they turn 12 years of age. They are not separated at all for meals or outside play and the rooms are age below 2 or 2 plus , that’s it.

I wouldn't be happy with a child feeding my baby when I'm paying the nursery staff to do it.

He shouldn't be allowed anywhere near your child. I wouldn't be concerned about anything untoward but it's totally inappropriate that the staff are allowing this happen. It's a huge safeguarding issue.

Speak to the nursery manager and get this stopped. If they don't, I'd be moving my child to a different setting.

Why is it inappropriate? Surely you can't think the seven year old boy is trying to form a potential sexual relationship with your child? In full view of his parent and other staff?
He's seven!
Lots of kids that age like playing a 'parent' in games/role play with younger kids. It will happen in primary school and often happens with siblings or cousins. It's not just little girls who like to play that way either. It's normal and sweet.

This would be my issue too!
I loved seeing mine interact with older children generally but it feels very unprofessional for the staff to have their school age children in with and there’s no way they’re not a distraction from staff doing their job properly

He's a young child in a professional setting, being supervised by qualified staff. If you're not going to trust anyone with your child, keep her at home and look after her yourself. When you put your child into the care of others you don't get to control every single detail of their day and who they come into contact with. Despite every effort to do so, you simply can't.

If it's just him handing her stuff, how is it any different? I would have thought it strange for a nursery to be spoon feeding a 14 month old.

Is this actually real?

Some babies may never see anyone but adults and other babies if they are in nursery full time. This kind of interaction should be welcomed so long as it is appropriately supervised and as others have said, babies and toddlers love older children. They have a different energy, a bit more silly (in a fun way) and babies love it.

You should feel able to ask for more information about this and probably should to put your mind at ease. You might even be able to be introduced to him if you ask.

Were I live in the uk nurseries have to be registered with a regulation body and the certification states the ages of children allowed in their care and the ratio. All staff have to be registered and suitably qualified.
You are paying for a service which includes personal care by an Adult, not a child.
Coming in for a wee play is fine but being there for hours isn’t.
The feeding thing is a health and safety issue. If your baby chokes on the food or is injured, would they truthfully say on the incident/accident report that a 7 year old was feeding the baby ? This could then lead to investigation by various agencies.

I think some children nowadays, especially if first or only DC and there aren't many children in the immediate family, play a lot less in mixed age groups then they perhaps would have in the past. And of course older children (boys and girls) in large families would have been expected to help with younger kids. And childcare was less specialised and expensive and standards were lower.

Nowadays families are smaller, parents usually only have one or two kids, the focus is on the nuclear family and childcare is more regimented and very expensive. It's much more unusual for, say, neighbours or older kids to help care for young children. So there is a feeling that only "qualified people" should be near our children, which probably wasn't the case in years gone past when everyone including kids would be expected to muck in.

Agree that in home situations etc would be ok however, there are fairly recent occasions where a baby of that age has choked and died in a nursery being fed by a nursery worker never mind a child so absolutely no this should not be happening and the nursery are risking their licence allowing it and I would be raising concern about it.

The child should not be feeding any child. You have left your child with a suitable qualified person. This child should not be doing this whether supervised or not.

More and more primary schools are opening nurseries so maybe parents will get more accustomed to horrible big children interacting with their toddlers.
There are quite a few schools I know that have 2-11 year olds on the same site.

Maybe I have misread the OP given the replies, but I think this is wrong too. You are paying for trained professional care for your baby.

I think it would be nice for an older child to play with the baby with your permission but feeding and handling are to be done by the staff.

Exactly..makes me wonder why OP has these thoughts!

I think you can guarantee there will be an adult in the room!

My god I wouldn’t think twice if a nursery teachers child was playing with my baby? Why would you?

Because she’s paying for her baby to be cared for and fed by a qualified adult. Not a seven year old.

Am just off to bed and stupidly read this post!!! Am shocked that my generation have produced such a bunch of sensitive, fragile people (absolutely not the case with my children or their friends) . Can only assume that OP is a journalist,if not,I despair at why anyone would be suspicious about a 7 year old 🤷‍♀️

I actually felt quite uneasy there at the thought of a grown ass women is actually thinking this!! There are some real strange folk on mn. My god I wouldn’t think twice if a nursery teachers child was playing with my baby? Why would you?

He sounds like such a beautiful little boy!

Ah, but that would be lovely and wholesome. Whereas boys are disgusting brutes, and this one is probably a budding paedophile /s

A 10 year old was in my DCs nursery all day when he had an inset day. My DC loved it and had a great time with him. It's really odd that your bothered by a 7 yo being around your toddler.

My kids nursery had a breakfast club and kids in the adjoining primary school would attend. There was additional breakfast club staff so no problem with the ratio - are you sure that’s not the setup?

Honestly, his Mum is likely sitting right next to him as she would have done the feeding anyway. Ultimately OP, it’s your kid and you’ve got to feel comfortable with the setting, so mention if you need to.

This isn’t appropriate and you should raise it. You cannot guarantee his mother is in the room all the time ie she’ll be distracted with other jobs while her child is entertaining/feeding yours.
A trained adult should be feeding your child, not another child, for all sorts of reasons. It’s nothing to do with him being a boy but he’s a young child and just as a train driver wouldn’t let a 7 year old drive the train, nor should this worker allow the child to be with such young children.

I can't say it would bother me that much but it's a bit odd tbh and I'm surprised that it's allowed. But I can see why especially if it's your first child it bothers you. With my first child, he rarely came across older children in an uncontrolled environment and his world was baby groups and classes with similar-aged children and a very structured, controlled environment in nursery, again with similar-aged children. My second child has had a totally different experience - she has a brother similar in age to the child you're concerned about and they play and roughhouse together and occasionally she comes out the worse. And a large part of her social life has been tagging along on playdates and parties with her older brother, so it's not been unusual for us to have a tiny toddler joining in with older kids and while occasionally she's been squished or sent flying, mostly she's come out unscathed. And she's a tough little cookie as a result and thinks the older ones are just wonderful.

My older one is largely uninterested in any younger children except his sister - he loves her but thinks other babies/toddlers are boring - so we're not faced with the issue of him wanting to play with and care for other little ones constantly 😂. But yes, if he did, I'd probably step in to gently put a stop to it as, when we have playdates for the younger one, I can see some of the parents visibly wincing when my two wrestle or run around together or he swings her in the air.