Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

No but then I’ve just had my first baby at 42.

That's an interesting point actually.

I guess if I had to say the "ideal" age to have children I would say around 30, but there are certainly pluses and minuses to being older or younger.

I became a grandmother at 39 x

I think it really really depends on the socioeconomic circles you move in.

My DM had me at 37 and my DSis at 41.

My MIL became a grandmother at 41.

I do remember DM saying that she was old enough to be the mother of a lot of the other new mums she shared a ward with when she had me, 40 years ago. She was very much the exception back then - but nowadays I've got far more friends with toddler children than teenage and we're all 40.

I think it’s not rare. Most of the school mums unless they have a rather large brood are younger, if your in the playground in late 40’s/50’s it’s assumed you’ve got about 5 children spread out or you are the grandparent.

I can only think of one school mum I know who’s the same age as my mum with an only child. Put my foot right in that when she was discussing a big birthday party plan and I went oh that’s how old my mum is 😬😬💀

That is young these days for a grandparent.

Two of my friends were grandparents in early to mid 40s one, her 15 yo daughter had three before she was 20 and another was married at 18 and her 23 yo married daughter had a daughter recently

Someone asked DH the other day if he was a 'new grandpa' when pushing our 2 week old in his pram. He's only just turned 41 🤣 I'm 28 but don't think he looks that much older than me 🤣

I don't know, it's arguably better to have children when our brains are still malleable. I see some older parents who really struggle to adapt. (And some amazing older parents too).

I'm sorry but I don't live in the UK so don't know about current NHS recommendations. Are you telling me that they advise women to have their children at a young age? I just find that hard to believe.

It’s not ‘beyond abnormal’ at all. No one ‘fed me lies’. I wanted to spend my 20s and 30s unencumbered by children, studying, living, travelling, moving countries for jobs when it suited me. Having a child in my 20s would have been a crazy decision for me. Out of a wide circle of friends, two has children in their 20s. Both now think it was a stupid decision.

It depends on how old a person was when they had children. If they were young themselves, then it's entirely possible they could be a Grandparent at 47. My Mum was considered 'old' at 29, when she gave birth to me, back in 74, but nowadays 29 wouldn't be considered old to be having a first baby!! If I'd had a baby at 18, my Mum would have been a Grandmother at 48! As it was I didn't have my son until I was 35! I'm not sure I'd automatically see an older woman with a younger child and think she must be the child's Grandmother, though.

I only know of 3 people who became Grandparents in their 40s ( but they were parents themselves in their late teens), and I know a lot of people who are Grandparents. Most were late 50s when they became Grandparents.
I am mid 40s too and have also been asked if I’m mum or Nan though.

I was responding to a PP who was talking about doing things "correctly". I disagree that there is a correct way to do things, but I do believe there are preferable ways of doing things. I have no doubt that you did an amazing job raising your child when you were so young yourself. But it's a scientific fact that your brain is still developing in your early 20s, and that is one reason that I believe that ideally, a parent would be a little older than that.

Biologically we were designed to be pregnant and given birth at a younger age though. It's fine to delay but I was well aware of the increased risks of older pregnancy so very much chose to be a younger mum.

I think it may depend where in the country you are. Small town or big city?
Here in Lancashire,
I would say that most in my age group (mid 50's) had their first by mid 20's, so some are grandparents now as their children have done likewise.

I did know a woman who was a Grandmother by late 30's, but also know someone else trying for their first at 43 so it's a very rough guide. ..

My brain was plenty developed to have a child at 21 and successfully bring them up. Mother Nature clearly didn’t get the memo - and hasn’t for millennia.

I beg to differ too, as does the NHS (they are far too nice still to call a spade a spade, i.e. geriatric mothers like myself) in relation to now giving advice not to delay having children and also, placing young doctors (22-year olds) on the wards - surely if 22-year olds are junior doctors, they are too, have enough brain, so to say, to have children?

If I had to make a guess I'd probably think more likely GP than parent tbh.

Wouldn't surprise/shock me that it was the parent though either!

Maybe people think you look older than 47

I am terrible at judging ages. I had my first child at 29 and the mums at toddler group in their 40s looked (and seemed ) ancient to me.

But then I was very fresh faced and they treated me like some kind of delinquent teen mum (never stopping to find out I was actually a home owner with two degrees and a decent professional career, not that that makes me better than a teen mum - I know some amazing young mums - but just to show judgement can go both ways).

Personally I would be assuming grandmother with a 3 year old yes, but I’d never actually say that to someone incase I was wrong.

My mum is a similar age and is a grandmother now to my daughter, most of my friends also have children now, parents your age, who are all grandparents, so in my circle the assumption would be grandparent.

My mum became a granny by me at 46 and my son often gets mistaken as her child

Having kids in your early 20's is doing everything correctly? I beg to differ. Given that young adults brains aren't even fully developed until their mid 20s, I think ideally you should be at least in your late 20s before having kids.