Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

It's just an in between age really. I'd say late forties is very young to be a grandparent but it's also very old to be a parent. I know more older parents than young grandparents but that's my age (48) and demographic.

My parents became gp in their early seventies which was pretty late - average in my circles was early sixties.

clearly from a broken home though, so not ideal!

I think there is no right answer. I know someone who became a grandparent at 40 her younger children were at primary school. She looked too young to be a nan. I know someone that had a multiple pregnancy at 47. I become a parent at 29 my mum was 56. I’d hope not to be a grandparent in my forties but we will see! I did see a couple with a preschool aged child in a shop recently and assumed they were parents due to the way they were talking I would have said they were late forties. It made me consider how it’s more the norm to have children later now. Particularly with women having careers more than when I was growing up as there were a lot of stay at home mums.

I made my mum a grandmother at 49 and had my youngest child at 47.

I’m now 54 and not yet a grandmother.

My sister became a grandmother at 42. DN had her baby at 19, it wasn’t ideal but what can you do? It all worked out well in the end.

DGS was born 2mths before my 53rd birthday, DH was almost 59.

I mean, yes true, but equally none of us (male or female) can just ignore biology. It impacts not just fertility but the health of the child too. So if you know you want to start a family it makes sense to do so once you are financially stable

Somebody I was at school with was pregnant at 16 and a Granny before 40.

I'm 43 with a 5 year old and there are quite a few mums my age - but they mostly also have older children already in or finished secondary school. Catholic school so lots of big families. They would have been having their first when they were in their 20s. There are quite a few families where the mums and daughters both have children in the school at the same time!

That's a completely different thing. I think there is more to the ideal age to have a child than how fertile you are. Just because you are at your most fertile as a young woman, doesn't mean that's the best age to become a parent.

I’m 53 with a 7 and 8 year old. Have never been mistaken for their grandmother and I’d say a third of their classmates were born to parents in their 40s. It’s a village school with (I’d guess) a high number of professional parents. That could make a difference?

In my area I would assume you were the grandmother. Many of the girls I went to school with were teen mums. Even in my current peer group of friends and colleagues (professional job requiring post-grad qualifications) most women start their families in their 20s. It is quite a cheap, traditionally working class area whilst still being metropolitan enough nowadays to offer decent career opportunities. I think that makes a difference as it’s easier to buy a house and be financially comfortable at a younger age!

It's not purely down to class though. I am MC/UMC and my family have been for generations, but I knew enough about fertility/biology to know I wanted to have my children in my late twenties/early thirties.

Yikes! I'm your age and I don't know anyone in their 50s who's already a grandmother, let alone a great grandmother!

I don't think it's particularly unusual.... But then at 54, my dc's are 35, 33, 18 and 13. I became a grandmother at 38, and my youngest was born when I was 41. Actually, I had two other grandchildren born that year too 😊.

it's a classic class thing...

It could go either way at that age, past 40 there are fewer new mums and under 55 fewer grans. I guess everyone as mum to play safe with nannies, grans, step mums, aunts etc - nobody minds someone thinking they are mum, but every mum is hurt not to be recognised as such.

I've made friends with the mum of DS friend who had her first at 15, and I'm actually older than her mum. I haven't confessed that though as she is quite shy about mixing with "the older mums", and I value our new friendship so will tell her when she's more confident that I like hanging out with her. I'm not sure why she thinks I'm younger, I have a few other mum friends who think I'm younger than them when I'm much older. Maybe because I'm not constantly wittering about 40th birthdays they place me back earlier in 30s instead of 40s, and I tell nobody our ages on principle. DH has a ban but looks much younger; I'm pretty sure I look my age, and it's just assumptions based on ownership of primary age child + naturally no grey. My advice would be to dye your hair, wear it long, wear dresses, and never mention your age. People will clue you in as mum within a few years when the greys catch up with those still in their 30s.

The thing is though, biology disagrees with you. The optimal age fertility wise is your 20’s, that’s a scientific fact too.

Society has moved on and we now have university, careers, travel, the cost of houses has increased so it takes longer for lots of people to get on the property ladder etc and that is what it is, it does mean people start thinking of starting a family sooner, but biology hasn’t changed to account for that and it isn’t going to.

MIL was horrfied at becoming a GM at 49 nearly 50 - DH was 30 so it was her being a young Mum not as much us. She was the youngest of her social circle but only by a few years again more as she was such a young mother.

At time many our generation were parents in that area mid to late 20s - most unlike DH didn't go to Uni at time - parental age has gone up since then to nearer 30s even for those not going to uni - so grandparent age has also gone up a bit since.

However different area we lived in knew a couple who had 23 years between their eldest and youngest - large family - and many who knew the mother when first kids were young who then then bumped into in later years assumed GM not mother for her youngest ones. They didn't get upset as they did understand the assumptions there.

I'm 47 and don't feel mature enough to be a mum (I'm not one!) let alone a grand mother!

One of our apprentices at work let slip the other day his grandmother is 45. THAT made me feel old. 😟

I'm 51 and have friends that became great grandparents before they were 50 😐
They had their first child at 16, who's then gone on to have their first child at 16 and that child has now has a baby at the age of 17. Monkey see monkey do appears to be the case here.

I'm the same age as you and only know one person who was a grandparent in their 40's and he's a few years older than me (mid 50's now). That said, i also don't have any peers with toddlers, most of my friends kids are high school age now and a couple are 19-21. My friends are pretty much all university educated and the women have career jobs so that probably influences child bearing age typically towards late 20's/early 30's.

It's more likely that a woman in her late 40s would be a grandmother to a baby/toddler than a mother. It's not common for a woman to become pregnant in her mid 40s or older without medical intervention due to normal biology.

It’s perfectly normal in our low income area but completely abnormal in the posher bit of town where most of our friends live.

That's reminded me when I was 18 I was an au pair for 3 children aged 8, 4 and 2. People were always assuming I was their mother.

The average age of a first time mum in the UK is about 29 - which means there will be many, many people having children younger than that and so not that uncommon to be a grandparent in your 40s - especially you mid/late 40s.