Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

Idk if someone else has said this but according to ONS the average age to become a parent is 30 and grandparent is 63.

@Hwi

Thank you for writing this - the world has gone mad - 'age is just a number', 'I feel my best now I am in my 60s' and suchlike trash. We face a real crisis in Western Europe because of such attitudes.

Why would we face a crisis because people in their 60s feel better than they have done historically? Would you want people rushing to age as soon as they can? Isn't better healthcare and longevity a good thing?

How does people aging earlier benefit society? Your post doesn't make much sense. You're obviously being deliberately provocative and I get that you have a problem with older mothers which is your right, but you don't seem to have thought this through. Having children younger is one thing but it doesn't follow from that that people aging prematurely is a good thing....

if you saw a 47 year old with a 3 year old, would you assume that's the grandmother without it crossing your mind that she could be the mother?

Not necessarily, no. I'm a grandmother at 46, but technically a step-grandmother as it's DSD's child. DSD is 32 (DGD is 2), and DH is 50. But had DSD when he was 18. I was 24 and 28 when I had my dds.

A lot of the women I went to school with are grandmothers several times over. My parents were grandparents at 46, when I had dd1. I think it's much more common for people to become parents later nowadays.

In my social group nobody had children until their mid 30s. And often not until their 40s. Mid 20s to mid 30s was seen as the time to build a career.

Same way a woman I know became a grandmother at 31 I guess, she had her DD at 16 and her DD had a baby at 15. Sad though.

ETA if they were all 14 when they had their babies, that would explain it.

Yep.

Well of course there is.

I have been amused by the posters who think they have found diplomatic ways of saying, "Ugh no, I don't associate with common or poor people so I don't know anyone like that.", in response.

Reeled right in.

My husband became a grandad at 44 (by my oldest stepson) His parents grandparents at 39! My husband is now 53 and we are having a baby so God knows if people will think he's grandad

I’m not sure why it really surprises you because yes, there are people who are grandparents in their late 40s. My DD is a similar age to your child and my parents are in their late 40s. They had me young and I’ve had my daughter young-ish by today’s standards. It’s not that uncommon around here.
I do think it’s poor form, however, to assume someone who could be either Mum or Grandma is Grandma. I’d always say Mum and prefer to be corrected if I’m wrong.

Mid 40s we still have friends trying for their first. Most reached a comfortable position in their careers late 30s and started to settle down from then.

Not so much now no because increased financial independence, better career prospects, cost of housing etc has all meant that a lot of women work far longer before having children than they used to. But in the days when it was doable to buy a house on one workers wage and have a SAHM without too much of a stretch, and most women were pretty much limited to nurse, teacher or secretary job wise, yes it was the norm.

I would say up until the late 90's it was very common.

As I mentioned on the thread about having a baby at 45, my grandmother was married with her first child at 20, my mother at 22 and both her sisters by 25.

I totally agree. That combined with “yes all those poor people in the next town along have children by their 15th birthday” type responses. Biggest eye roll ever.

I wouldn't assume anything about anyone with a child. But there is nothing unusual about being a grandmother in your late 40s. My gran was 23 when she had my aunt. My aunt was 24 when she had her first child.

No-one I know is a grandparent in their 40s. Plenty of parents of young children.

A great grandparent at 42?! How on earth did they manage that?

I had my first DC at 20, making my mum a Grandma at 47. I looked young for my age and remember people used to ask I was my sons sister. I think people just like to comment!

Of course it’s common. It may not be the norm, but it’s not unheard of to have children in your early 20s. Just like it’s not the norm but also not unheard of to have children in your early 40s.

I never assume as it varies so much. I remember when I was working with Year 7s when I was 42 and overhearing a conversation about the age of their grandmothers and one of them had a grandmother the same age as me!

Yes similar for me. I remember being sent to the hospital after an appointment for something and getting in the lift with a woman my age and her daughter, it was the daughter who was pregnant.

all my close friends had babies late thirties.

I think it depends where you live. I’m in London and it very common for people to start having kids in their late 30’s / early 40’s so no one would think you’re a grandma in my neck of the woods.

I had my first in my late 20’s and used to get mistaken for being an au pair at the baby groups.

I became a grandparent at aged 40. Often I do get mistaken for his mum, but his actual mum is young and looks much younger than she actually is.

I think it's very much dependent on area you live in. I live in quite working class area, where people tend to have children at younger ages - late teens and early 20s. So wouldn't be unusual for granny's to be 40s if kids do the same

I was a grandmother at 43! But I did have my DD very young,at 19,and my DD was quite young when she had her DD at 23. For a few years I did get mistaken for my DGD's mum,it doesn't happen now I'm 61.

I became a grandmother at 44, (10 years ago) I look younger than my age too. I had both; people thinking she was my baby and others correctly assuming she was my granddaughter. There's room for all ages, it's making assumptions that causes problems!

As said, the optimal age to have children (for the health of parents & children) is early 20's
That's when I had mine, and my dad was a great grandad to my children in his late 40's