Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

I know only a few people in their 40's who are parents to very young dc. I know a lot of grandparents in their 40's and 50's.

My sil had her last child at 45 and became a grandparent 2 years later. DH brother became a grandparent in his late 30's.

I know two people who became grandparents around the age of 39 and interestingly, both then became parents again so their child is an uncle/aunt to a niece/nephew who is younger than they are.

The average age to become a grandparent in the UK is 63 apparently. I recently assumed a lady with a child at a local soft play was the child's mum but she was actually grandmother and 47. She was quite flattered 😊

My Grandaughter is 6 next month. I am 54 and I often get mistaken for her Mum. (I am told I look young for my age by friends and family).

If I am unsure when I am out and about of others, I always default to "Mum" or "Dad" and not assume grandparent, so as not to inadvertently offend.

If you look 50 I might assume grandparent.

I’m 49 and have one friend a GP
my son is 29 so I could be one but am not thankfully.

if I met you I would probably wait to be told what your relationship is, I wouldn’t feel confident assuming mother.

Its really not that shocking all this talk on this thread of "only in deprived areas" and other such bullshit 🙄 I'm an actual young mum and if my child had a child at the same age I had them I'd be a grandmother in my early 30s.
So how is late 40s that shocking. Its the equivalent of two generations having a child at 23. What's so unreasonable and "deprived" about that

I think it depends on the age/personal experience of the person eg I had my kids in my 30s, am about your age, and in my head I’m still a mum of two young children, so without thinking v much I would assume you’re the parent. If I’d had my kids younger and I was now a grandparent, without much thinking I might presume you are the grandparent. Both are possible.

I was 42 when I became a grandmother.

No one ever thought I was nothing but her grandmother probably because I have shocking white hair. I'm 54 now.

However, whenever I see a young child, I assume the accompanying adult is the parent. Unless it's obvious, like me with the white hair, that they're older.

I think if I saw somebody who was obviously mid to late 40s with a very young pre school child I’d tend to assume granny not mum as that is way more likely to be the case . If the child were older so 7+ I’d probably make the opposite assumption.

I'm 46 and there's no way I would assume someone my age was a grandparent but my dm was 20 when she had me so she became a grandparent at 50 and I do remember thinking that whilst she looked young for grandparent I certainly didn't have any Mum friends in her age bracket. Being an older mother has become more common but I would imagine people aren't quite sure which way to go at your age.

It is relatively common where I am, my own mum was a grandparent in her 40s, I don't know any mums around here who have had kids in their 40s, that would be much more unusual than a grandparent in her 40s (although would think 50s is more average for grandparents here). It always surprises me how prolific late motherhood is on here vs my own experience.

I think it helps being a more affordable area.

And no, we are not chavs as I know MN loves to insinuate. University educated, home owners, high rate tax payers, in my case I just happened to meet my husband young and didn't want to leave it later to have children, quite similar circumstances amongst my family and friends who also had children younger and made parents grandparents in their 40s.

Makes them feel good.

Imagine if younger parents started a thread about how since more women in late 30’s to 40’s are now having babies there increase in disabilities in children and mental health issues has sky rocketed. Not their children or any they know ever however still.

Despite the age related links of the affects of older parents on their offspring due to age at conception…

I used to get mistaken for my children’s sister. it works both ways.

I find some of the responses here bizarre. Being in your 20’s is “barely adult”, really?

I don’t think that drastic infantilisation is helpful to society, really. People in their 20’s are very much adults, even if many do opt for a sort of extended adolescence, many more do in fact have children and parent them well. Even building careers at the same time!

My grandparents became grandparents in their 40s, my mum became a grandma in her late forties due to my sister having a child. So not unusual but on the younger side of normal I'd say.

I would assume that 47 year old grandmas of toddlers are more common than 47 year old mums of toddlers, so I would probably make the same assumption. I've worked with lots of women who were grandmas in their 40s though so that probably skews my view.

I think I'd assume you are the mum, but obvs either case could be true.

I remember a kid asking if I was my 3 year olds mum or gran, I was 41 and a bit taken aback. But then the kid ran to his family and I could see his parents were very young - so fair enough that's his "normal".

I try to avoid assuming anything when it comes to these things, I've nearly got into embarrassing situations when the father of the child has been way older than the mother and Ive been VERY relieved that I didn't assume he was grandpa.

It would be unusual round here.

If dd1 had had a baby at the same age as me, then I would have been a grandmother at about that age. But some of my friends of similar age still had infant school age children.

Edited to add:
People also want to be tactful so may be more inclined to say "mummy" out loud when they think "almost certainly granny". I certainly have!

I wouldn't assume anything as you could be either.

Ii was an Aunty at 14 and always had the assumption of being big sister. Only once did someone suggest baby was mine.

I think we might know the same person!

I was 52 when I became a Nana (said amazing little man is currently sat on my lap watching Cars for the 654366th time. I think I'm about average for around here.

They all had kids as young teens.

I think it depends where you live? I'm 53. None of my friends in their late 40s or early 50s are grandmothers. The only friend I have who is a grandmother is 58, though I think she was 57 when he was born. I do know a number of people who had children in their early 40s. And one who was 50! (ivf).

On the other hand my mother became a grandmother at 48 and her own mother was slightly younger.

I know about six people who became grandparents in their 40s, some even in their 30s! (although I appreciate that’s very uncommon). A lot of people I know have children in their 20s and their parents had them in their 20s also