Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

My SIL ended up colouring her grey hair (all family go grey early) because people thought she was her DD's GM. Her DD was born days before her 40th birthday, but she didn't get married until she was 39.

My 60 year old friend has just become a great GM making her DM, who is in her early 80s, a great great GM.

I know a woman who became a granny at 36. Both had kids at 18.

Life cannot be predicted.

I knew someone that became a grandad at 32. Now that I cannot imagine at all!

I don’t think it’s that unusual for someone to have grandchildren in their late forties. I had a child in my twenties as have quite a few people in my family. When I’m 47 my son will be 22 so there’s a chance I may be a grandmother by then.

46 with a 6 month old grandchild here!
Left school at 16, straight into full-time work, married with a house and child before my 21st birthday.

I think if I had had a career I would have had children later.

I think it is very closely linked to career progression. If you work in senior professional roles earning big six figure salaries literally nobody would consider you were a GP in your 40’s as it would be almost impossible.

I know barely anyone who had a child before 35 and most first time GP are 65+. In fact it is more likely the GP are deceased before the GC is born than they are in their 40’s. I’m struggling to think of any DC who had all 4 GP alive when they were born.

Where I am I'd assume mum. I'd say grandparents are 65ish or above here.

I have a three year old and grandparents are late 60s - mid 70s.

I really wouldn't take it to heart. In the same week recently I had someone ID me at the food shop for looking under 25 and then the doctors receptionist assume I wanted access to an adult child's medical records (not three year old DD standing next to me!). I hope I don't look old enough to have an adult child 😂

Quite possibly!

It really does depend on how someone looks. I had my children in my early forties and there was no way anyone would have mistaken me for their grandmother as I did look a lot younger. I’m now in my sixties (not so young looking now lol) and none of my friends are grandparents, not even those who had children a decade before me.

it isn't common! We have data on this (https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/livebirths/datasets/birthsbyparentscharacteristics) only 4% of mothers are aged over 40 when they have a child.

As to the OP's question, I wouldn't make any assumptions but statistically, the grandmother assumption would be more likely to be correct than the mother assumption as nearly a quarter of mothers are under 25 so a woman of around 50 is about twice as likely to be a grandmother than a mother of a small child.

Honestly I would probably assume you were the grandmother

My Nan had two grandchildren aged 7 and 4 when she was your age.

My cousin was a grandma before 40. My own mum won’t likely see her grandchildren as she’s 67 now.

I think it’s 47 is a perfectly normal age to be a grandmother. Not young or old.

Most mothers have to give up their careers or put them on hold when they have children anyway if mumsnet considers a 23 year old mother "deprived" then I guess it truly is over for people like me who became mothers at 16.

These threads always have older mothers with superiority complexes making thinly veiled nasty comments about "deprived" etc such a nasty word / assumption to make. Usually disguised behind some caring "those poor peasants are too stupid to know how to live their life poor things" attitude but I've been on here long enough to see through it

Edited to say they love implying they're better than others for having children as old as possible "only people in deprived neighbourhoods have kids before their 30" " I don't know ANYONE I socialise with who reproduced before 30" etc etc. just a giant rush to show off how they consider it peasant behaviour that they have no interaction with because they are so superior 🙄

My DM had me at 22, and I had DD1 at 27, so she was 49 when she became a Grandparent. I have one other friend with parents a similar age who had a baby before me, but other than that, most of my friends waited until they were in their mid 30's before having children. Conversely, my closest friend had her 2 DC at 42 and 44, and her DM was 82 when the first of those was born!

I had a friend at school who had a baby at 16, and her DM was only 30, having given birth to my friend at 14 - incredibly, my friend also had an older sister who their DM had given birth to at 13!

I would assume you were the child’s mother.

I think it’s a bit of a class thing tbh. Middle class women tend to have babies later as often focusing on their education & then careers in their 20s & 30s.

I'd err on the side of caution and say mum so as not to offend, but in reality I'd say it's more common to be a nanna of a toddler in your 40s than a mum in my experience

I was asked if I was "granny" when taking my dc to pre school. I was 39, and not especially old looking! Clearly older than the early 20s mums I suppose.

I agree. Probably wouldn't be thinking that hard about it. I'd say you were a mum to be polite. I'm 46 and would feel very old to be parent to a 3yo. Good luck to you but it's definitely on the older end of motherhood.

All my friends are aged 58 to 64 and only 1 is a grandmother.
Dh is 67 and has 3 under 7. His siblings were grandparents in their early 50s.

Biologicaly speaking, by the age of 35, pregnant women are deemed by the NHS to be geriatric. So whilst it might be common, I don't think it's what what the majority of the public see as the 'norm'.

Most people aren't working out your exact age, they're just guesstimating a bracket. They probably see you as "around 50" and that is old to have a 3 year old.

None of my friends have had kids young enough that their parents are grandparents at 47, but I also don't know anyone who had a child in their mid 40s. Most people I know had them at 30-35. If people think you're around 50, you're not the right age to be either parent or grandparent but you are closer to (a very young) grandparent.

(I don't think I've ever met a woman who doesn't claim they look good for their age or younger and it's hit and miss whether it's actually true so I'm taking you with a pinch of salt there).

I know quite a few people who became grandparents in their 40s.
But then there are also loads of much older parents at my kids primary school, who I mistakenly assumed were grandparents.

It's not that it's 'deprived' but for a lot of women it would be basically straight out of uni, and that's assuming you're doing a standard bachelor's degree rather having any plans to do any further training or education - most professions require further qualifications of some sort or another. It's extremely early to take time out of establishing a career and it also, if you don't have local family support, nursery costs are a barrier to returning to work as they can and do cost the equivalent of your entire take home pay on an entry level salary in many places.

I'm not saying that people don't succeed as young parents - far from it. But having children young puts a lot of barriers in to being able to progress in a paid environment.

I reckon it's probably more common to be a grandma at 47 than it is to have a 3 year old child to be honest.

I know quite a few people who were grandparents in their late 30s, never mind 40s and none of them were schoolgirl mothers either.

I would think over the whole country it is more common to be a grandmother at 44 than the mother of a newborn.