Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

I know far more people that became grandparents in their 40s than first time parents. I know someone who is 51 and has an 11 year old grandchild and a 4 year child. People frequently assume he is his child’s grandad. And men often have children later than woman so it’s probably worse for older mothers.

My mum was 39 when I had her a nanna (my dad 47). I am 48, no sign of any GC. But 2 of my friends had GC in their early 40’s.

We're not 'the majority of the public' though. And mostly wouldn't be using the NHS for childbirth as its not flexible enough

If you had a baby in your 20s and they had a baby in their 20s you could be a grandmother to a toddler easily. I think that's probably what most assume.

Having a toddler at 47 is unusual - nothing wrong with it though!

I had exactly the same experience. I was far more employable than women of my age with young children and continued to have an advantage in recruitment over younger women as my career progressed. I got promotions in my 40s that would never have been available to someone with small kids.

My mum and her sisters were all grandparents in their early- late 40's. Now in their 60's. I feel it was more common years ago but not so much now. More common in low socio economic areas though.

I think some of it depends on how old others perceive you to be. I'm 42 with a teenager and people have asked if we're sisters (twice in front of my dh). I'd like to think I look good for my age but we don't look like sisters, though I guess it is possible these days.

No, but I'm a similar age to you and my kids are between 17-21 so I wouldn't necessarily assume they were your child (but I certainly wouldn't say anything either way just in case!)

I have nothing but admiration. My first was born when I was 24 my notes said "elderly primagravidae" my second at 27 feeling as though I was leaving it late. I'm 67 now. I had a "scare" at 32 and thought I was way too old but it was a false alarm. OTH my husband's mum was 45 when she had him but he was the youngest of a large brood. Times change.

I know lots of people who are grandparents in there 40s , most of them had there own kids in their early 20s themselves.

My mother was 38 when my son was born. We both had children young. I was often mistaken for DS sister becsuse I looked exceptionally young in my 20s. It really used to annoy me when they thought my mother was my DSs mother.

I've mistaken a grandmother for a mother recently and in the past have made the opposite mistake. I don't think there's a specific age cut off in people's minds, it's just an assumption made without thinking. Someone recently thought my DMum was DD's mum, it made her day!

I'm about be a grandma at 54. And I look it!

I knew someone who made her mum a gran at 29.

I had my first in early 20s not long out of uni, used those years to lay the groundwork working part time and had another child then went back to work full time once the kids hit secondary. I then focused on my career and now in mid/late 30s my career has more than taken off. I spoke with a recruiter and told them I thought I'd be seen as a liability for having kids and actually got told I'm the opposite as my kids are up and independent but I'm still young and I'm career focused whereas someone else the same age who didn't have kids will be assumed to be taking the gas off soon. It's apples and oranges really. I don't think it matters when you have kids, a woman generally takes the hit career wise either way. At my age now i actually see little to no difference career progression wise to where I have ended up and where my friends who delated having children are

I think it’s a 50/50 thing of mum or grandmother. It perhaps depends on area. London for example has more women over 40 having their first child than other places. In deprived areas, statistically the age a woman has her first child tends to be lower.

I made my mum a nan in her 30s. If I saw a 47 year old with a 3 year old I'd assume that you was the grandmother. But where I live most people have kids in their teens and 20s.

I had a lady who used to clean for me years ago. She had two grandchildren and was 37.

It was a bit different 20 - 30 years ago. I'm 48 and almost all my close female friends from that time, including me, juggled studying, training and early careers with pregnancy and small children.

I think it was just about do-able back then due to lower housing costs, more grandparent help (because they could retire or work p/t earlier) and the cost of being a student wasn't as high.

It would be much harder, if not impossible, for women/couples in their 20s now.

My dad was early fifties when he became a grandfather to ds. One grandma was late forties when I was born, the other early fifties. One of them was 34 when she became a grandma to my cousin! 😳

It isn’t common to have a baby at 44 but having said that, it’s very rude for people to ask or presume you’re a grandma.

I’m 27 with 2 dc but I look a lot older. None of my friends of similar age have had dc yet.

@AntiHop I had this when I was 38 and pushing my two around in a double buggy. "Taking the grand kids out for the day are you?" I think I was asked.
People are a) stupid b) set in their ways c) not always firing on all cylinders d) have bad eye sight and e) make all kids of wild assumptions.

My mum had some of us kids in her 40s and dealt with the same. She just smiled and kept walking. I tried to do the same, but it can be annoying.

I've been in the exact same position as you OP. I was 42 when my youngest was born. When she was about 4 two women at an adjacent cafe table, who had very obviously been talking about us in another language started asking me about my " grand child".
The consensus is generally that I look younger than I actually am( I definitely don't like older) and I found this quite funny. Their extreme shocked reaction said alot more about then than me when I explained no, she was my child. Of course it's possible to be a grandparent at that age but I'm the UK, certainly in London it's not common. I know someone from Romania who equally finds it hard to comprehend I'm " so old" and have a young child so I think in other countries and cultures it's probably common to be a grandparent at my age.
People are also strange though and my oldest son is commonly 'mistaken' for being my partner and daughters father- he definitely doesn't look that old - he's just tall. I think lots of people don't really look at other people and think about it when they speak.
Biologically it could be possible that he could be a father and me a grandmother but looking at the overall picture it's not likely, especially in the area where we live. I know a lot of mums of young children in their 40s, a lot of who only have one child so i assume the person questioning you was either being deliberately rude it is just very narrow minded.
In answer to your question OP, I'd assume you were the mother and would be quite surprised if I found out you were the grandmother.

These days is hard to tell. Any toddler groups i go to i just make no assumption. Because sometimes I really am not sure if it's the mother or not. 🙈🤣 I'm an older mum but I don't think i look old. In the way I am etc. But on saying that- I've a cousin my age who looks no older than me. And she is a grandma and is about to be for a 2nd time! 🤷‍♀️

Are you suggesting it is purely random who gets pregnant at 18? I’m not sure that’s the case.

I don't know anyone personally who became a grandmother before 50 and, at 62 only have one friend who is a grandmother.

I’m 48, if I saw a woman of a similar age with a 3 year old I would be grateful that I haven’t got a 3 year old and that I don’t have a grandchild.

It’s not that common to become a grandmother at 44, but statistically it’s a pretty uncommon age to become a mother too. Looking at age specific birth rate data I’d hazard a guess both have a pretty similar likelihood.
Level of education, deprivation and region are all related to what age women have their kids so people tend to think their own situation is more ‘normal’.
I’m a 34 year old GP and meet some patients younger than me who are grandmothers - and I thought I was a young mum compared to my uni friends!