Is it really that common to be a grandparent in your late 40s?

I'd assume gran, I don't know anyone who has had a baby beyond 37, only on MN do I see starting a family over 40.
I'm 52 (no GKids) most of my friends have them.

In my area, it would be more common to be a GM at 47 than mum. I don't know anyone who has had a baby past their 30s. 2 other people I know have become GMs in their late 30s.

I’m in my 40s but not a grandparent (yet anyway) My DC are late 20s and some of their friends have older primary age DC. All 4 of my DCs grandparents were aged between 38-45 when they were born. More common to be a grandparent at my age than a mother where we live.

I know of plenty of people who were grandparents in there 40s. I only know of a couple of people personally who had a child in their 40s. My daughter has a friend at school who's dad is older than mine. I think it's getting so common now though, awkward that people assume.

There's a certain demographic in my area that tend to have their kids in their late teens / early 20s. They then tend to become grandparents in their late 30s / early 40s. Then you have the opposite who become 1st time parents in their 30s / 40s so become grandparents later.

I personally think that your early adulthood should be spent exploring life & establishing yourself. By having children early, you've barely come out of childhood yourself & then you're plunged back into it. I had my 1st at 30 & and my youngest at 33, this worked for me but I know it's not for everyone.

Yes my mum was mistaken for being my and my siblings grandparents. 47 is quite old to have a 3 year old.

So you and your‘circle’ have been lucky enough to conceive and have healthy children,but for many people who wait until their late 30s they have left it too late.
Just take a little wander to the conception board to understand what a lottery it is for the perfect time to have a good chance of having a healthy child .Age is definitely a big consideration.

I know someone that ha their 3rd child at 47. I am early 50s with teens as had mine in my thirties. I don't know anyone that had kids in their 20s where I live. DHs brother lives in the Midlands and had kids 19-24 but their kids didn't have kids until their thirties so they are just becoming grandparents now mid fifties.

I think grandparents in forties must be becoming rarer these days, very few people can afford to have kids in their twenties now surely.

OP, you are not alone. Only today I was sat beside a swimming pool watching DD10 & DD12. Lady sat next to me watching her granddaughter. She turned to me and said “your granddaughters have kindly taught X how to do a handstand”. I decided not to make her feel bad and correct her. I’m 58. I know I’m considerably older than most mums at this stage. But this lady was about 80! Why did she think we were of the same generation? Frankly I could have been either mother or grandmother - people shouldn’t assume.

I've been asked if I'm my DGC mum previously, and also asked if I'm my DMs granddaughter? So it can go both ways apparently 🤣

I'm 45 for context

My grandma was 2 weeks shy of her 40th birthday when I was born, so 39. She had my dad at 20 and then I was born when he was just about to turn 20.

I had my first at 31. So it does feel odd. I remember feeling like a teenage mother at groups - so, I would not assume 47 was grandmother material, now.

When I'm 47 my kids will be 24, 22, 20 and 17. My own parents, grandparents and great-grandparents were all grandparents by 47.

However I do understand what you're saying. 47 with a 3 year old is completely borderline and I'd always err on the side of (outwardly, at least) assuming mum not grandma...

Where I live, there are grandparents around this age but also first time parents around the same age, so for that reason I don't make assumptions and wait to be told!

I was mistaken for my children's grandma when I was 33! To be fair, the woman in question was visiting the UK from a neighbourhood in New York where everyone had babies at 16. In fact she'd had her first baby at 15, so that was her frame of reference.

I’m 41 my oldest is about to turn 21 and my youngest is 4. I get told i look a lot younger than i am someone at work was shocked when i said had a 20yr old they thought i was 27 lol My mum was mid 40s when she became a grandmother.

Was siply pointing out that my social circle aren't 'the majority of the public'. I have very little knowledge of what they consider' the norm'. For me and my friends 'the norm' was to prioritise work and fit in having DCs (or not) around that. I still managed to have 4 so I guess being old when I started wasn't an issue.

My brother made my mum a grandma at 45, I am 41 with a 10 and 7 year old. I would probably assume a 47 year old was the grandmother tbh. Having kids in your 30s is pretty much the norm in my circle and with the mums I see at school etc. I can't think of anyone I know IRL who had kids past 40 (fully appreciate that's my experience and plenty do).

The NHS is not the key point in this. Biologically at over 35 your fertility is dropping and there is an increased of complications. That's just physical reality.

I took my 15 yr old niece to parents evening recently and a teacher referred to me as ‘Gran’. I’m 45. That was a slap in the face… 😂

It’s much more normal to be a grandmother at that age than have a 3yo of your own.

Sorry, but yes I would think you were the grandmother although I wouldn't say anything just in case. When I am your age my eldest will be 23 and my youngest will be 15. When I had my youngest I was the oldest mum on the maternity ward by quite a few years and I was the same age as one of the visiting grandmothers.

@notquiteruralbliss OP was asking people on a public forum what they would think, so not sure why "We're not the majority of the public." Comment is relevant.

My mother was always mistaken for my grandmother - to be fair, she was a grandmother when I was born. I would auto assume that a late 40s woman with several children down to a toddler was the DM, and that one out alone with a toddler was the DGM giving her daughter or daughter-in-law a break for the morning. That said, it’s that “could go either way” age where I would carefully avoid making a verbal assumption one way or the other. 😅

@notquiteruralbliss exactly the point I was trying to make....it's not an odd assumption to think a 47 year old could be the grandparent of a three year old.

I’d expect it’s more likely for a 47yo to be a 3yo’s grandmother rather than mother, albeit neither is going to be pretty common

Unless you live in London you won’t have much choice. There are very few private providers of obstetric services. Not that it’s relevant to the fact that gynaecologically women over around 35 are regarded as what used to be called elderly primagravidas.