On holiday thinking my marriage might be over

He sounds exactly like my husband OP. There must be a type! Mine is ridiculously sensitive to any perceived criticism, once on a group night out I tapped his chin. It was stupid but we were queuing at a bar and I just did it. He called me a fucking cunt under his breath and things went downhill from there. (He thought i was saying his face was fat, I wasn't). I was then situated the girls end of the table in the restaurant and he sent me loads of texts calling me every name under the sun and telling me to fuck off out of his life. The silent treatment then lasted for 6 weeks! There have been so many episodes of silent treatment over the years, too many to count and all lasted between 4 to 7 weeks.
I stayed for the children's sakes, but to be honest looking back, I think that was the wrong thing to do.
Sorry I should add that I don't mean to say that your DH does the name calling and swearing, but sounds remarkably similar in the sulking and cruel use of silent treatment.

It sounds like he should have just gone on a ski holiday with his work mates. It might humiliate him into being civil if you threaten to go home (and mean it) and say you'll be letting everyone know why you're going home early.
How's the rest of the relationship? Is this a pattern?

So, he talks to you in a charming way in front of others in the group, but gives you the silent treatment when you’re alone or with your DD? Even worse.

And one set of ‘friends’ know what he’s like with you, yet love him? They’re clearly not your friends.

Why be disrespected and humiliated in this way by an arrogant, belittling, immature man who clearly doesn’t care how he makes you feel? Take yourself off to do your own thing. Why keep up appearances for his sake?

He sounds horrible & has zero respect or care for you. Can you either pivot to go home early or swap out your ski trip for a trip to the nearest city and have some time recharging on your own. You deserve better

The skiing is not the point. His behaviour is.
He has no respect for you. You probably come across as needy to him, which he can't be bothered with. Don't issue threats or ultimatums or leave early. Make the best of your holiday without him and then tell him it is over when you get back. And mean it.

I feel desperately sad for you that you have such low self esteem that you’d want to spend time with such a vile excuse for a human being. I can’t imagine being married to someone who treated me so badly (well, actually I can - abusive ex who I left). You really need to give your head a wobble if you think any of this is okay.

This really isn't about the OP ability to ski. Her DH is a twat and she would be better off without him!

People will treat you how you allow them to treat you. Anyone who used the silent treatment on me would be gone, pronto.

Enjoy the mountains and the fresh air OP, to plan your new, wonderful life, free of abusers.

That sounds awful, can’t believe he’s calling you pathetic. What an unkind thing to do.

Regarding the skiing, I think you really should consider an hour or two of private lessons. I know you say you can already ski, but this is about confidence building. I’m a very capable skier but I still have lessons now and then, it makes a big difference. It will also mean you’re not skiing alone which is a positive.

Bin him. What a twat. Having said that, if I was the weakest skier in a group I probably wouldn’t want this knob to spend time with me every day and would let him go off and do his own thing. You could have some lessons if you need to but you know what he’s like so forcing him to ski with you seems pointless and will inevitably lead to an argument. I prefer to spend time on my own though and I know not everyone does. I would get rid of him as soon as we got home for the things he said to you.

I've been skiing twice with incredibly athletic people who never had lessons but seemed to pick things up quickly and were heading down black runs and thought I ought to be able to do them too. It's a horrible situation. Competitive people get very competitive and anyone who doesn't is considered a wuss.

Your loss of confidence isn't something he's going to be able to help you with. He is the worst person in the world you could have picked to assist you, and why you don't realise this is a mystery. You need to decide first of all whether you want to continue skiing or just give it up. If you want to continue, join a beginner's class and start all over again, building confidence as you refresh your skills. Either classes with people who won't be as good as you (what a confidence boost) or private lessons.

The fact that you seem to see him as having the answer and him as the person who has to change to accommodate something that only you can work on does make you look clingy. Not excusing his bad behaviour at all, but your neediness is making the situation worse. Take control of the thing you can work on — your confidence on the ski slope — and stop expecting him to help you.

Silent treatment can be a sign of abuse. Silent treatment can also be a person taking time to recover from a difficult conflict or just not wanting to be around us. No one owes us emotional labour.

This. Naturally unkind and fundamentally selfish sums it up.

Well your DH is an arse! I ski better then my DH no way would I leave him on the slopes!
But you still have a few days left of your holiday so why don't you do stuff for you and not cave to him being a tosspot? Book a private lesson or see what the resorts spa options are and book yourself in for an afternoon of pampering?

I honestly believe the men you gave to be concerned about the most are the ones who are charismatic and the life and soul with friends/in public and a nasty bastard at home/with loved ones. Look up narcissist and see if he fits.

Yeah, go home and take the time to decide whether you want to be with someone who thinks you're pathetic and holding him back. It doesn't sound like a pleasant life.

This happened to me in holiday once (not skiing but silent treatment)
I came home early on my own , got a flight the next day.
We are still together but he's never done it again.
I said I'd leave and I meant it.

You are not pathetic or shit or anything else derogatory he is saying.
He sounds mean and nasty.
You deserve better.
I would be inclined to either leave early, book some private lessons or else ditch the skiis altogether and spend my time drinking wine and reading books by the fire.
How is he the rest of the time, when you're back at your accomodation or out with the rest of the group in the evening?

Don't waste what is left of your life with someone who treats you with such nastiness. He is a cunt. Think about the next 20 years. Leave him. 💐

I wouldn’t even be friends with someone who spoke to me and treated me like that. Talk less of being married to them.

I would just reiterate your point when he thaws a bit ‘Just wanted you to ski with me for an hour…is that so bad? You can tell me i’m crap and slow and holding everyone back, but I can’t have a pop back? You then don’t speak to me for 24 hours! Let me know if you can manage to be pleasant again and we can salvage the trip, it would be great to ski with you alone for a bit. If not, I’m not taking this shit, I feel like I’m on holiday with teenage girlfriends and there’s been a falling out, not my husband. There is a flight back to XXXX at 14.30 tomorrow and I’ll be on it.

In fact, I’d send that as a text to him now.

I think my marriage might be over on every holiday.

Your husband is, quite frankly, an utter selfish arse!

I almost cheered when you hit him where it hurts - he does have a pathetic ego, doesn’t he?

In your shoes, I’d hang up the skis and use my time in the bars to do an internet research for divorce lawyers in your area and book an appointment for when you are home. I would be making lists of information you need to get regarding finances and start planning how to leave.

This marriage is dead.

This holiday has helped you to see what he truly is.

Or is it Ritzybitzy??! Lol