On holiday thinking my marriage might be over

Yes. That's what I would be asking him. He's doing competitive skiing with you, because he probably can't beat the rest of the guys in his group and wants to be superior to someone. He sounds really insecure.

Book a group morning lesson and ski solo for a bit in the afternoon.
I lost form returning to skiing after a gap... DH hurtles down with no technique on the brink of an accident, so he wasn't going to be much help teaching me

It could be something simple and fixable that's holding you back, the instructor will spot it in an instant. I nearly gave up but booked into a small morning group.
The instructor took one look and said "Ski technology has improved since you last skied." He adjusted my boots, with a heel screw etc I'd not even noticed.. And suddenly I could ski properly again.. Not brilliantly but I could manage.

For your own sake, get some lessons... ( by the end of the week you'll be showing the rest of the group that any comments he's been making are unfair and unjustified. ) It was an amazing overall confidence boost to get my ski legs back and not just in skiing.

Apart from that, Ignoring you in private whilst being over charming to everyone else in public to enforce the contrast is one of the shittiest and most overly punishing moves ever. A very nasty to keep it going throughout the holiday.

Logistically, it will be difficult/pricey getting down the mountain range in a transfer to the airport mid holiday, depending on where your resort is. And it will probably make things hard for DD. And he'd go on an immediate sympathy drive citing your "unreasonableness". So I would tough it out if you can.

How to survive the week if you have to stay on and he's still trying to punish you? The others will start noticing his behaviour. He wants you upset and cowed so I'd act as though his "ignoring" behaviour was utterly normal from such a manchild and so pathetic it's not worth acknowledging. He wants to wrong foot you, so that the rest of the group think you are difficult and moody - because he's so charming to them right?

I'd give a bright and breezy superior Good Morning as if to a sulky child and crack on cheerfully with my day, generally showing him that no input from him is required as his behaviour is not going to spoil your break. He won't know what to do with that.
Or not... Not everyone will agree with that approach. It's the one I've used with difficult people in fixed situations but it may not work for you. It depends what you feel will get you through the week.
Try to enjoy your ski mornings. Visit a spa or relax in the hot tub if there is one, or have a facial, enjoy your DD's company Take the time to Have a nice coffee contemplating the glorious views and and think about your possible options you can act on when you return. Best of luck.

Can I start divorce proceedings on your behalf? This guy is a real POS and you should leave and never look back. I know it's never as easy as that but all of us here that have left horrible, miserable husbands that make us feel awful would tell you it was 100% the best decision.

When they start treating and speaking to you with such disdain, the marriage is over. You deserve better than this cruel, unkind man.

I had a similar experience with my exH. On a mountain bike holiday, I crashed ad hurt my knee. Struggled to walk so that evening he walked off and left me. Hated that I was slower for the rest of the week and left me behind. I told him that I was leaving him when we got home, and that I did. Twat.

He deserved what you said.

Where is the vomit emoji?

Take this post on board OP.

In what ways is he abusive to you when you’re at home? Name calling? Silent treatment? Shouting?

I have been skiing with my DH three times and am a bit nervous and still pretty slow having never done it before.

He used to be an instructor and is so patient with me, happy to wait at the bottom of each slope or I tell him to go off and meet up an hour later ... your DH sounds a twat and I'd be going home!

Also, I'm sure the rest of the party can do their own thing without waiting for you or getting anoyed you are slowing them down.

Absolutely. He’s an utter cunt To speak to you that way. It’s utterly cruel.

Depending on the age of my daughter, I’d be travelling home early without saying anything to anyone, except my daughter. I’d then message whoever I was closest to from the other families and say “I’m afraid that H’s abusive behaviour towards me all week has got too much and I’ve gone home. Enjoy the rest of your week.”

Your dh is a twat. It’s clear from the way he is treating you just now.
His ‘friends’ aren’t much better. If you go skiing as a group you adapt to the slower person. At least one if the time. You dint leave one person on their own like this. It’s true fir skiing, going walking etc….

If they all wanted a hols where they couldn’t be bothered tonnait fur a slower person, they should have said so. You wouldn’t have gone. But then ofc, your dh would have had to parent his dd in the evening etc… whereas with this arrangement, he can leave that to you.

I think you have two choices tight now
You made the best of the situation. Take skiing lessons. Find what else is happening in the place (spa? Nice patisserie?) Basically gave fum wo him. And totally ignore him. Up to him to come out of his attitude
OR
You go back home now. Leave your dh look after his dd. And tell everyone including the ‘friends’ why. No reason to hide.

What a dick, and well done for calling him out on it. Serves him right re: the comment about his people skills (or total lack thereof).

People who bully and force slower skiers out of their comfort zone are the worst, and are cruising towards spending their holiday going back and forth to the hospital where their victims will likely end up. Go and do your own thing - private lessons would be ideal as you'll learn so much. If they aren't available, just take yourself off on your own and enjoy the secnery from some cruisy blues and greens. You'll be happier without him (and the rest of the group, who are no better if they won't accomodate you) and will be able to enjoy yourself without pressure and fear.

You’d be better having a couple of private lessons to get your confidence back.

He sounds like a twat at best, and a narcissistic arsehole at worst.

I wouldn't waste anymore of my time with him. You and your daughter deserve better. It's far easier to bring up a child alone, than with a 'partner' who makes you feel shit and worthless.

Book ski lessons for yourself (PM me for discount code), it'll do wonders. I understand if you don't want to book flights home now especially if your holiday and skipass have been paid for, they're expensive.

And as for your husband, he's a wanker! such a terrible man. I am a slow skier, terrified when i was a beginner, a fall did affect my confidence but now once my husband who was a wonderful skier left me or said things that'll hurt my feelings. Hugss

What a cunt.

Personally Imwould either try and talk to him and tell him he now understands how you feel by the way he has treated you and been so rude and uncaring and he has a choice, continues to act like a bully or reflect in his behaviour, apologise and provide the support you need. I would also point out childish sulking and not speaking to you is a turn off

If he continues I would wait it out until I got home, then I would be getting ducks in a row ams leaving with the kids

and on another note - can you go and get a lesson or two on your own?

I know I have hurt him with the comment,

truth hurts sometimes but as you said - he dishes it out like jelly babies but can't hack it in return

My next comment wold be

if you can't hack me mirroring your nasty behaviour then think about how you behave

Sign up for private lessons with a hot ski instructor. And then when you get back to the chalet at night be like "omg best holiday ever!!!"
Only joking!!

What does he say when you point out that he can dish it out relentlessly, but can't take it?

It was the pp not the dad who let the mum suffer if anyone did. Why did she take her mum on a vertiginous hike if she knew she was scared of heights?

He must’ve been like this before, it is not from nowhere. He’s not being a loving caring husband, he is being a disrespectful ugly man who treats his wife with utter contempt.

I feel for you. If not for your daughter you could just come home. As it is you can’t put her in that position. The best thing to do right now is book an hour or two private lesson, to help your confidence (I used to be a ski instructor, in a different life, and private individual lessons work wonders). Then go out with them again if you like, but if not go up the mountain with your confidence get a hot chocolate and meet them for lunch maybe.

When you get home in a few days, seriously think about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who treats you like this.

I remember seeing an older angry man shouting at his meek looking wife in an airport, it was awful. She looked so sad. I wanted to hug her and say get away from this man. But didn’t 😢. I wonder how long she had put up with him for, and how she is today.

Your husband has a mask on in public but he’s like the man above.

Really sorry to say this OP, but anyone who calls you pathetic and is embarrassed by you, does not love you. This should be a wake up call for you to make your plans to leave.

When your DD is with someone that treats her this badly, I hope you find that just as acceptable...