Jealous MIL

I think you are being totally unreasonable!!! You are getting free childcare and complaining about it. You want 2 days family time but you don’t see why your MIL shouldn’t have Sundays as her family time. Am I missing something?

a very polite response to an outrageously assumptive and intrusive comment

OP, I honestly don't mean to be mean, but you have asked for advice on childcare from grandparents because you cannot afford it.

The number of people that accidentally get pregnant with a second, is surprisingly high.

The number of people who have grandparents change their mind about childcare having found the reality too exhausting is very high too.

The free nursery hours could be your buffer to both of them doing too much and not feeling able to continue.

I would take them and tell both grandparents that you hugely appreciate their offer but don't want them overwhelmed them with too many hours.

It is great to have buffer childcare for unexpected emergencies too.

I’m glad that you have made your decision and feel comfortable with it. The fact that the grandmothers are doing part days will help to make the plan sustainable. Some of us really do enjoy looking after our grandchildren and find having that one to one time with them is very precious and rewarding. Good luck with everything 😊

I think this is a bit harsh and don’t think this is necessarily the case - especially when you consider the 15 funded nursery hours currently available and the fact that 30 hours are coming into effect from September this year - this will help massively. I do agree that relying on parents isn’t the most stable option though.

What a mean thing to say. Bad Monday morning?

Clearly the work you both do is very low paid and cannot fund a child.

You cannot afford childcare and are dependent of it being given for free.

It doesn't read as if you can actually afford a child.

You are both going to have to look at your jobs and see how you can add extra work somewhere and bullet proof your contraception.

You definitely cannot afford a second.
How are you supposed to cope if either grandmother changes their mind through health or circumstances?

You need to focus on a back up plan.

I think you have to do what’s best for your family.
If your MIL is desperate to spend time with your little one maybe you and your husband can get her on board to put little one to bed one night a month and babysit in the evening so you can have a date night!

Good luck OP hope it all works out for you. I'm sure it will. I love looking after my grand children and I work so you're not putting on anybody they were all happy to offer. And that's how it is sometimes.

Did you come to a solution CJ98?

@Lamby225
How does op keep changing her work days to accommodate MIL .
It's lovely GP want to help with childcare but surely this has to be set days , what employer will put up with constant changes.

You say your MIL constantly changing days to suit herself - surely you should try to accommodate her - although it wonderful being a grandparent and spending time with grandchildren she is also doing you a huge favour to enable you to carry on with your career and earn a good wage. Time flies when your children are small and it will be all too soon time for school. My husband worked Monday to Friday and I worked Saturday and Sunday so our family time was limited. You have to make sacrifices. Our boys are now men and Fathers themselves and don’t seemed to have been harmed by lack of family time. I hope you don’t take any offence at my post, just putting another opinion forward.

Mil doesnt want to take the child on a Sunday.
Which is fair enough.
I dont know any childcare that works on a Sunday.
So the only obvious this is one of them eill have to gey a different job.⁵

The ops parents and mil offered.
I didn't say wow about working hours, I said wow about your apparent knowledge of a strangers financial situation.
Never said people don't work more than 5 days I said 5 out of 7 was a normal working pattern. There are many patterns and this is one of them.

Loads of people, myself and my partner included, work more than 5 days in a week or more than 40 hours. Most full time NHS staff put those hours in. Not sure what is ‘just wow’ about that. It’s more like they want to save money by using grandparents as childcare which is fair enough, but saying they categorically can’t afford it is probably not true

No that's a usual working pattern 5 days out of 7. It would be a rubbish life if we had to work 7 day weeks! Doesn't mean that they can afford childcare. And again the fact that you feel you know their financial position is just wow!

They can afford two days off a week each. so assuming they’re not scraping the barrel or one of them could take more hours on.

It's very bold of you to assume you know the financial details of op and what they can and can't afford

The baby will get funded hours. On two full time wages even minimum wage, they can afford 2 days a week childcare. Easily.

I thought that this morning @beautifuldaytosavelives.

Only on Mumsnet, where most people have never heard that it takes a village. ‘I gave up my stab at being next PM, ate dust for 5 years, organised a class camping trip the day after major surgery and never had a nanosecond of childcare I didn’t pay for and neither should you!’. Get real. Tons of families rely on happy grandparents to care, me included. Your MIL is being unreasonable and perhaps with some gentle persuasion your DH will be able to point this out. It’s a stressful time for all. Good luck.

mil offered. Mum offered.