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AIBU?

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Original poster

Does your MIL do this?

156 replies

SocialMeeds · 18/02/2025 22:18

So, if there’s been a recent event where cards have been exchanged, birthday Christmas, and most recently Valentine’s Day, MIL reads the cards that are on the window sill. She does it every time, commenting on the writing, what is written. For some reason it has always annoyed me.

YABU she can look if she wants
YANBU she’s a nosy cow!

OP posts:
Porcuporpoise · 19/02/2025 08:22

Probably not a good idea to put private things on public display.

Original poster
SocialMeeds · 19/02/2025 08:03

Definitely hiding them next time!

OP posts:
Coloursofthewind2 · 18/02/2025 22:54

I don't think reading Christmas cards or birthday cards is rude but I wouldn't read valentines or anniversary cards in case the words were too slushy.

Maybe in future put something really sexual in your husband's cards and display them to teach her a lesson😆

MrsEG · 18/02/2025 22:52

Yeah I agree OP, my mum used to do it.
Fine to have cards up and people can look at the front, but to pick up cards and read what’s inside is so invasive, especially say valentines or wedding anniversary. DH once wrote a really lovely message in an anniversary card after I’d had postpartum depression and Mum just gawped through it. We now have a wire noticeboard and I clip them up on to that so she’d have to physically unclip it to read it (still wouldn’t put it past her, but there’s a barrier there at least!!)
Shes so nosy anyway though; as you’ve said she’d have also thought nothing of picking up medical appointment letters in the kitchen and having a nose through those in the past. She also still begs me to come to my medical appts too (I’m 40!!!)

So yes; would do my head in too!!!

Original poster
SocialMeeds · 18/02/2025 22:52

WinterSun20 · 18/02/2025 22:49

Oh, I think some cards are private eg anniversary cards, Valentine’s, and birthday cards between dh and myself. So I wouldn't like someone reading them. I wouldn't read someone's cards either, they're not for me, so wouldn't feel right.

I never know quite what to say when she does it! DH got me two Valentine’s Day cards as he couldn’t decide between the two and she asked ‘why did he get you two?’

OP posts:
JC03745 · 18/02/2025 22:51

It would never occur to me to read other peoples Christmas/birthday/Valentines cards! I might look briefly at the outside of a pretty Christmas card, but to pick it up and read a personal messages is beyond rude!

To those that pick up others cards and read them, do you also read other peoples post if its on the table, or their paperwork its if on a desk, or their personal emails if their computer is open??? 😕

WinterSun20 · 18/02/2025 22:49

Oh, I think some cards are private eg anniversary cards, Valentine’s, and birthday cards between dh and myself. So I wouldn't like someone reading them. I wouldn't read someone's cards either, they're not for me, so wouldn't feel right.

Original poster
SocialMeeds · 18/02/2025 22:48

FrazzledHippy · 18/02/2025 22:47

I agree OP. I dislike it and actually find it quite invasive the couple of times it's happened. I put cards up to be admired because they're nice, not for public reading. If I wanted anyone to read the contents, I'd take it down and say "read this". It's just not something I'd ever think of doing in someone else's house!

I think that’s it for me also, I’d never dream of doing it elsewhere!

OP posts:
Newbie8918 · 18/02/2025 22:48

SocialMeeds · 18/02/2025 22:44

I just think it’s a bit rude. She used to glance at letters also from hospital, you know back in the days when letters were more a thing. We learnt to put those away!

Think we’ve got the same MIL.

My parents gave us a fake gift of a cheque for our wedding (money was transferred so it was just a way of us opening the gift).

because it was fake, I’d tidied some torn bits of envelope into the cheque envelope.
MIL dropped our dog off from dog sitting and when I returned home, the bits of torn paper were all over the floor. She’d obviously took the cheque out and looked at it.

A week later, we got an identical ‘gift’ towards our honeymoon 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Original poster
SocialMeeds · 18/02/2025 22:48

Newbie8918 · 18/02/2025 22:44

I absolutely hate this. Drives me mad. My MIL is the only one who does it and she also comments on what written eg questions ‘in’ jokes, no matter who the card is from. I find it really intrusive.

Ive actually stopped displaying them for this reason. Last time she visited she was annoyed that we didn’t have any cards on display (namely hers).

This has also reminded me that when it’s the kids birthdays, if she feels my parents cards are more on display, she moves her cards to a more prominent position when she puts them back!

OP posts:
Whoarethoseguys · 18/02/2025 22:48

If they are displayed surely they are for people to look at. If they are private isn't it better to keep them somewhere private

FrazzledHippy · 18/02/2025 22:47

I agree OP. I dislike it and actually find it quite invasive the couple of times it's happened. I put cards up to be admired because they're nice, not for public reading. If I wanted anyone to read the contents, I'd take it down and say "read this". It's just not something I'd ever think of doing in someone else's house!

redpickle · 18/02/2025 22:45

Mine does, I find it rude. She also asks "who is ...?" If she doesn't know them.
Erm, nobody you know! It's not your bloody card!

Newbie8918 · 18/02/2025 22:44

I absolutely hate this. Drives me mad. My MIL is the only one who does it and she also comments on what written eg questions ‘in’ jokes, no matter who the card is from. I find it really intrusive.

Ive actually stopped displaying them for this reason. Last time she visited she was annoyed that we didn’t have any cards on display (namely hers).

Original poster
SocialMeeds · 18/02/2025 22:44

I just think it’s a bit rude. She used to glance at letters also from hospital, you know back in the days when letters were more a thing. We learnt to put those away!

OP posts:
Thisshirtisonfire · 18/02/2025 22:44

Ha my mum did this once. It was a valentines card from me to my husband.
She read it and then GOT ANGRY AND OFFENDED ABOUT WHAT ID WRITTEN!!
Ffs why was she even reading a valentines card clearly addressed to my husband??

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 18/02/2025 22:43

My mum did this until she read a rude joke poem I had written to DH in a valentine's card that was in our bedroom. She was crimson. Hasn't done it since

Seacatt · 18/02/2025 22:43

I think it is rude.

mummybear2104 · 18/02/2025 22:42

Yes mine does!

Wbeezer · 18/02/2025 22:42

My Dad does it and he reads things on the notice board and any paperwork you've left out. It's annoying, I think it's a reflex with him rather than nosiness, he's a bit of a compulsive reader.

Mrsp2b33 · 18/02/2025 22:41

I always read cards at families houses, I didn't think it was a thing. I assumed it showed I was interested, which I am.

Starryknightcloud · 18/02/2025 22:41

You've reminded me to remove the v vulgar valentines card DH gave me from view

DramaAlpaca · 18/02/2025 22:39

I'm with you, OP. Fine to admire the cards on display, quite rude to pick them up and read them. Unless asking if it's OK before doing so, of course.

Needmorelego · 18/02/2025 22:38

I thought that was the point of displaying them....so other people could have a look at them 🤷

RIPVPROG · 18/02/2025 22:36

Mine doesn't, but I'd be happy for her to, I agree if there's anything in them you don't want seen, don't display them in an area open to visitors