Does your MIL do this?

No. My MiL doesn't do that and neither do I now I'm a MiL. Perhaps we were both off the day they delivered that part of the Things your DiL can moan about you for course. Funnily enough, my dad would do it. Perhaps he snuck in to class. If i hadnt liked it then i guess id have kept very private things off public display.

Yanbu. My mum does this. I find it quite intrusive to read personal messages that people have written (obviously the majority just say “happy birthday, have a great day” etc) but anniversary cards and valentines cards etc are a bit much. It’s not enough of an issue for me to challenge her on but yes I find it irritating.

I mean a sex toy on the coffee table unless hosting an ann summers party is a wee bit different to a letter or card addressed to one person from another.

Putting cards up in your own home is hardly putting them 'on public display'.

If that's the case, maybe she should ban 'members of the public' i.e. her MIL from her home.

I wouldnt read another persons bank statement no. But neither would I leave something so private on my coffee table. Your home isn't wholly private if you invite people in so you don't put personal papers on the coffee table or your sex toys on the hall table then get bent out of shape because someone comments on them.

My Mum does this. I agree that it is rude. The card is written to one person, it is not for others to read. We display them to celebrate the occasion, not for others to read.

If this is something you do then by all means crack on but just be aware people do think you're rude and nosy 🤷‍♀️

Because everyone knows it’s rude to read cards not addresses to you!

You should say ‘Adam, do you mind if I read this card?’

It’s usually aimed at MIL as mothers were used to reading their kids cards when they were kids and don’t stop doing it when they get older/move out.

Yes older female relatives in my family think nothing of doing this. They can read upside down too. Sometimes they even see through cupboards and get lost going to the toilet and just happen to be found near paperwork. Lack of boundaries.

I mean in honestly try not to. Very rude to not invite mil in who’s appeared on door step who in turn behaves rudely snooping.

So if my bank statement was on the coffee table you’d think it’s ok to pick it up and read it?

They’re not out in the open. They’re in my private home.

But then you invite people in right? They're not climbing in through the window whilst your back's turned?

Reading the outside of the card fine. Opening the card and reading the private message inside not fine.

If not on my mantle or bookcase where am I supposed to put them for my enjoyment on the day/s but without snoopers snooping.

It’s my home my private space, that letter on my desk is also private I don’t expect you to go over pick it up and read it.

My mil does this too, she is the only one to do it. I find it rude and would never do it. I don't think she realises. I've started taking down any cards before she arrives.
I thought it was just me who felt uncomfortable watching someone look through all the cards.

They're not on public display, they're in my private home on my mantelpiece. I haven't lined them up on the front wall!

My mother does this. I find it outrageously rude. I've even found her rifling through paperwork when I've gone to the loo. It's not that I have anything to hide but it's so invasive. I put away all paperwork before she visits these days and don't like leaving her unsupervised around my house because I think she will start rooting around in drawers. Awful.

My Mum does it and it drives me mad! My MIL doesn’t. Imagine reading your Son in law writing something crude to your daughter 😂

I'm with you, OP. In my case, it's my mum who does it and I do find it annoying, much as I love her. I'm happy for people to look at the front but what is written inside is often personal and intended for the recipient (me!) only. I don't think reading other people's cards is any more acceptable than reading other people's letters, really.

I think this is an older generation thing. I remember my grandmother always doing this. Luckily my own mum isn't so bad, she might make a general comment about the amount of cards for a birthday or ask if certain relatives remembered in which case I might point out which card they sent, but she doesn't help herself nosing through them.
MIL on the other hand definitely would, also asking who is so and so? Commenting about the printed writing and how lovely it is (me knowing that is just by chance and that's what happened to be in the card). We don't see them that often though so for kids birthdays it might be a video call and you can tell she is always looking out for her card and the one she buys for her (grown up) daughter to send (so I always put these in a different shelf for devilment 😂).

Same, I am not a MIL. But if cards are on display I always have a nose! And yes sometimes I will comment on writing, my MIL best friend has the most beautiful writing and I always comment on it when I read a card.

I read my inlaws valentines card at the weekend actually.

Actually yes, this would annoy me. I remember my MIL opening all my baby gifts and cards when i was in hospital after having ds1. She just took it upon herself to open everything up as i lie in bed shell shocked from the traumatic birth and numb from the epidural. I remember watching her but couldn't move or speak up. And so i never knew who gave me what as everything was mixed up!!!