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AIBU?

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Being locked in?

257 replies

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:20

New house to us, so please bear with me. DH nipping out the back door and conservatory so he can smoke a Marlboro in the back garden. He locks both doors behind him because he doesn't want dogs to follow. Fair enough, garden is not completely secure yet. He leaves keys in doors so I'm locked in with dogs and I feel trapped. I can't get out unless he turns or removes keys. AIBU to ask him to remove the keys so I can leave when I want?

OP posts:
Hopelesscase32 · 18/02/2025 22:00

Christ it takes 5 mins to smoke a fag unless he's smoking the whole pack in one go. You're massively over exaggerating and this post is pointless

PondWarrior · 18/02/2025 21:59

Convolvulus · 18/02/2025 21:53

Why on earth haven't you demanded the front door key from the previous owner? What do you do when, say, someone delivers a parcel to the front door?

This! Are you planning to just use the back door forever? I don’t get it.

discdiscsnap · 18/02/2025 21:59

So neither of you can get in or out the front door . ? That's dangerous and needs changing.

Why didn't he just shut the doors behind him, ? Why do you only have one key?

healthybychristmas · 18/02/2025 21:57

Why are you letting him make a decision on this? It makes sense for you to lock him out until he is ready to come back in. Or for him to put the dogs in a room where he can shut the door before he goes out for a cigarette.

Zanatdy · 18/02/2025 21:56

It’s for what, 3 mins?

dapsnotplimsolls · 18/02/2025 21:56

Sort the front door out asap - you need to be able to get out both ways. Where is the key to the porch door?

AppleBlossomMay · 18/02/2025 21:55

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Where is the key to the porch door with the new locks? Get a copy cut for yourself and arrange for the lock on the front door to be changed ASAP, you don't have to get your Dh to give his permission. You need to be able to go in and out of your front door, for safety reasons if nothing else.

Are your dogs able to open closed doors? What sort of handles do they have? This all seems so strange. Is this some sort of control issue?

Dolambslikemintsauce · 18/02/2025 21:54

He's in the garden not down the pub.... Trapped in?? Bloody hell dramatic....

Convolvulus · 18/02/2025 21:53

Why on earth haven't you demanded the front door key from the previous owner? What do you do when, say, someone delivers a parcel to the front door?

ThatWordDoesNotMeanWhatYouThinkItMeans · 18/02/2025 21:52

Why haven't you changed the lock on the front door, knowing you don't have a key for it? I can't figure out how you get in and out of the house unless you only use the back door.
Why are you worried that your husband will leave you locked in the house in the event that some terrible calamity will befall you in the 5 minutes he's having a cigarette in the garden? Would he watch you die through the window rather than unlock the door?

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 21:52

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Sorry what he wants to leave the house forever locked?! FFS get those keys off the previous owner or get your locks changed this is ludicrous

SBHon · 18/02/2025 21:51

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Kindly OP take some ownership of yourself! Just because your husband has an opinion doesn’t mean that’s the end of it. You can the locks changed or sort the keys out.

scanni · 18/02/2025 21:50

I can't believe a grown adult can't simply ask their husband not to lock them in. This isn't an AIBU, it's a simple conversation.

Sassybooklover · 18/02/2025 21:49

You absolutely should replace the lock on the front door, it's a fire hazard, you only have one exit out of the property. This should be a priority. Why does your husband need to lock the doors, when he goes out for a cigarette?! Why can't he just shut the doors behind him to keep the dogs in? Unless your dogs are clever and can open closed doors?!!!!!

ChoccieCornflake · 18/02/2025 21:47

What does he say when you raise this with him? I ask because it would be a massive red flag if he's intentionally locking you in. Do you go out without him ever?

steff13 · 18/02/2025 21:47

I think you need to change the front door lock for safety purposes; you really need two exits.

But setting that aside, do you need to leave when your husband is smoking, or is it a mental thing? Why do you think he wouldn't let you out if you needed to get out?

TwentyTwentyFive · 18/02/2025 21:46

Surely you contact the solicitor and they get the key? You're essentially saying the people who used to own your house could come at any time and let themselves in?

If you can't contact the solicitor for any reason then why on earth wouldn't you replace the lock on the door?

PeriPeriMam · 18/02/2025 21:46

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

None of this makes sense. You need a front door that opens and closes! Regardless of anything else re back doors and conservatory doors

Hollyhocksandlarkspur · 18/02/2025 21:45

So the lrevious owner kept the key - why? Write and ask for it back so you can have more keys cut or alternatively (much safer and more sensible) change the frint door lock and get keys for you both plus two spares. It is not at all safe to only have one exit.

why does your partner lock you in? That sounds horrible. Buy a second hate stairgate to put across the doorway to the room with the back door or ask partner to remove key after he has locked the door and make sure you have a key to it with you. Or shut dogs in a different room. Can’t he just let dogs have last garden visit at the same time as smoking and save doing it later?

You are definitely not being unreasonable and need to take action for yourself.

OnYerselfHen · 18/02/2025 21:45

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

This isn't safe at all. What happens if there is a fire and it's blocking your only exit?

SeriouslyStressed · 18/02/2025 21:45

ChaosAndToast · 18/02/2025 21:42

Dogs don't have opposable thumbs, they can't open doors.

I don't understand why he needs to lock them?

Large/medium dogs can open doors with lever handles. My dog did it accidentally the first time by jumping excitedly at a door and as she landed her paw caught the lever handle and it opened - then she remembered it forever.

rwalker · 18/02/2025 21:44

ChaosAndToast · 18/02/2025 21:42

Dogs don't have opposable thumbs, they can't open doors.

I don't understand why he needs to lock them?

My sisters dog used to jump up at the door and has caught the handle and opened it

SeriouslyStressed · 18/02/2025 21:43

The sellers have breached their contract by not providing you with a front door key. Talk to your solicitor. You can claim the cost of replacement locks and keys from them.

RawBloomers · 18/02/2025 21:43

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

But you see a reason to change it (and it's dumb not two have to exits from a house when you can). So get it changed.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him to remove the keys when he goes outside, are you second guessing yourself or have you asked and he's refused?

Carryingcarrying · 18/02/2025 21:43

OP what does new to us house mean?

do you mean you’ve recently moved and have a new house? As in the house isn’t brand new but you’ve moved to a new house?

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