Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being locked in?

257 replies

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:20

New house to us, so please bear with me. DH nipping out the back door and conservatory so he can smoke a Marlboro in the back garden. He locks both doors behind him because he doesn't want dogs to follow. Fair enough, garden is not completely secure yet. He leaves keys in doors so I'm locked in with dogs and I feel trapped. I can't get out unless he turns or removes keys. AIBU to ask him to remove the keys so I can leave when I want?

OP posts:
Silvers11 · 19/02/2025 00:38

JandamiHash · 18/02/2025 22:12

Do you have a link? I haven’t heard of that one

Show quote history

It will do your head in if you find it! It was the most frustrating post. We never did find out what the problem was!

MakeYourOwnMusicStartYourOwnDance · 19/02/2025 00:22

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Show quote history

Wait, what?! That sounds like a fire nightmare!
What if you needed to get out that way in an emergency?!
Get another lock fitted for goodness sake.

UnNiddeRides · 19/02/2025 00:22

I’ve never owned a dog, but isn’t there a sort of ‘stay’ instruction that would mean that your dog won’t try to follow him out? Still get the front door lock changed though.

Isittimeformynapyet · 19/02/2025 00:19

Carryingcarrying · 18/02/2025 21:43

OP what does new to us house mean?

do you mean you’ve recently moved and have a new house? As in the house isn’t brand new but you’ve moved to a new house?

Surely that was the least confusing bit of this story!

RawBloomers · 19/02/2025 00:09

suburberphobe · 18/02/2025 23:49

Just get your own key.

From inside and outside.

Stop being a damsel in distress.

The issue isn’t with her having no key - it’s that he leaves the key in the outside of the lock so that she can’t use her key to unlock from inside.

(Although it seems like the real issue is that she’s in a marriage with an abusive arse).

letthemeatcakes · 19/02/2025 00:01

Contact the solicitors and have them request (demand) the key from the previous owner

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/02/2025 23:59

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 21:37

We have a front door that is locked. Previous owner took the only(?) key and DH sees no reason to change that lock as it only leads to a porch door that has new locks "so no-one can get in". Fair enough, but when he's off smoking and locking back doors I (and dogs) can't get out of the house.

Show quote history

Such a fire risk. You need to be able to have a secondary route of escape in a fire.

why don’t you just contact a locksmith yourself and arrange a new lock?

UrsulaLongshanksTheFlamingo · 18/02/2025 23:54

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

It doesn't matter whose name the house is in if you're married. My house is in my DH's name, but that's because it was his and I moved in. It doesn't matter. I have every right to change what I want about it. Even if you weren't married, you live there, so you have every right to sort out locks and anything else about the place tbh.
Don't let your time slip by feeling unhappy and unsafe (if that's the case). Life is too short, and wizzes by at top speed.
Tell him you don't want him to lock you in. If you're worried about the doors and the dogs, you ask for the key and explain that you'll lock him out.

suburberphobe · 18/02/2025 23:49

Just get your own key.

From inside and outside.

Stop being a damsel in distress.

JMSA · 18/02/2025 23:47

SeriouslyStressed · 18/02/2025 21:43

The sellers have breached their contract by not providing you with a front door key. Talk to your solicitor. You can claim the cost of replacement locks and keys from them.

Exactly this Confused

JMSA · 18/02/2025 23:45

But isn't he only outside for a few minutes? And you could call out to him if needed?
Maybe I'm missing something.

sandyhappypeople · 18/02/2025 23:41

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

You are married, but your DH has just bought a house and you have both just moved in.. why can't you change the lock with the missing keys again?

Ariela · 18/02/2025 23:40

If the previous home owner still has keys, this means they can enter the house whenever. Likewise they could give the key to anyone else who could then come in.

I don't understand why you've not changed the lock on the front door so you have new keys

AppleBlossomMay · 18/02/2025 23:38

It's clear many posters aren't bothering to read all the OP's posts.
At the bottom right hand corner of the OP's first post there's a link "SEE ALL"
If you click on it you can read all the OP's posts and you'll see there's something more worrying going on here. I hope the OP will come back and explain further, we're here to listen OP.

fashionqueen0123 · 18/02/2025 23:33

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:09

What should I be fixated about?

Show quote history

You can’t open the front door and your husband seems to think that’s normal!

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/02/2025 23:27

Meh. He smokes Marlboros.
Be glad there’s a locked door between you. He stinks. A door is good.

(If you want to leave the house, maybe try the front door …)

BigHeadBertha · 18/02/2025 23:27

2025willbemytime · 18/02/2025 21:23

Lock him out. Or maybe just shut the door..

Ooh, that's mean! 😂

LovelyLeitrim · 18/02/2025 23:27

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:09

What should I be fixated about?

Show quote history

Your previous post?

saraclara · 18/02/2025 23:26

You need a front door that you can escape from in a fire. Most kitchens are near the back door. If a fire breaks out in the kitchen you will not be able to get it through the back door. So a permanently locked front door is a massive safety issue.

Also you have no agency in your home, your husband is controlling you and he's deliberately scaring you.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 18/02/2025 23:26

Agree
The post is about entirely the wrong issue

OP you need to leave this marriage

smooththecat · 18/02/2025 23:25

DazedandConfusedbyPolitics · 18/02/2025 22:05

Thanks. Yes one of my dogs is more than able to open a closed door. I don't own the house, DH does, therefore I have no right to change locks.Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected.

Sounds like you are not doing too well. Is he controlling you in other ways than the doors?

SlinkySprings · 18/02/2025 23:25

Are you going on a holiday to an air bnb soon where your sibling wants to sleep in the spare box room by any chance?

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 18/02/2025 23:24

Can you not text him, knock on the window/door, open the window and call out to him?
Has he done it on purpose?

*Yes I am depressed, oppressed, unhappy and dejected. *
You can change that OP, you don't have to be in an unequal relationship where you're not happy.

KrisAkabusi · 18/02/2025 23:19

Franjipanl8r · 18/02/2025 23:12

If this is all you have to worry about OP, you have a good life.

Her husband is locking her into a house, one that she apparently doesn't own despite being married, and there is no way for to get out. He is refusing to let her get her own key for the locked front door. She's unhappy and depressed about the situation. But you think this is a frivolous issue. Let's hope you never have to experience a marriage like that.

AppleBlossomMay · 18/02/2025 23:16

Franjipanl8r · 18/02/2025 23:12

If this is all you have to worry about OP, you have a good life.

Have you read all of the OP's posts? Something is wrong