To not constantly be worrying about my children?

there is literally an example on the thread where someone essentially says that she only has one child so can’t take risks (because of course, I’d just shrug if one of my children was killed because I have another - sheesh.)

You have literally misunderstood what that poster was saying. She wasn't talking about siblings being spare children. She was saying she doesn't have a spare one in the cupboard she can take out if something happens to her child.

It really isn’t. It’s a thread saying - I don’t like the way anxiety (which as others have rightly informed me is a mental illness) is held up and encouraged.

It isn't. Different people have different experiences and therefore have different ways of assessing risks. My experiences have been different from the norm and so the things I see parents doing which put their child at risk are completely different. If it is something they might not know about and I think they might like to take into consideration, I'll speak up.

Other parents will have other experiences and might see things I'm doing as a risk and they will speak up. I don't see them encouraging me to be anxious, I see them as sharing information and I'll take it on board and decide if it applies to me.

If you are feeling a certain way about people sharing risks they know about and you decide that's not a problem for you, that's on you. You need to deal with your issues there.

I am not talking about those who have mental illness. I know what the difference is. But take your point.

I feel like I live in agony because I put my daughter on ponies at an early age, partly because she gave me no choice, but I am by nature extremely anxious about her safety. I ensure she operates within safe parameters which panders to my own needs but it is by definition a risk sport and her chances of serious injury are much higher because she rides. But I have seen how riding has developed her courage, persistence, patience, confidence and raised her overall level of well-being. And it took those skills to allow her to get into a school where she would be happy. So maybe the riding has protected her from a far more devastating mental illness or a life of unfulfilled desperation.

I wouldn't do this. Not a stone path. That's two lessons at once. Kinder to do the incline and terrain separately.

I largely agree with you except for rear facing, that's just safety. My child may protest that he has to hold my hand when crossing the road but he's still doing it for as long as I feel is necessary to keep him safe.

Same with rear facing.

A lot of mumsnet threads would be silenced if we could just accept that a diversity of approaches are acceptable.

No need to pick a side. Pros and cons both ways.

What about RF car seats? That’s not anxiety.

You sound like a sensible and level headed mum!
I was the same. DD was passed round the old ladies at church at 6 days old! She threw herself head first down the slide aged 3, falls of her bike and laughs at it, went to nursery, was sleep trained, goes to parties and play dates on her own (I drop and go), and is a great kid. I will worry when she actually gives me something to worry about.

Just to correct you, not "can't take risks" but "won't put her child in danger on the road". Slight differences, hey :)

I get you.
Traveled over Europe with 3mo baby forward facing.
How the hell are you supposed to feed and comfort a back facing child?
In a dire situation of a fatal accident I would be the first one to die anyway as I was rotated half way back lol.

But also, I am a kind of preson to lets a 18mo old run down the 30° path and bang on a stone bcs she was protesting to be picked up or holding hand.
Was her injury expected? Yup.
They need to learn.

I’m not particularly anxious. I’ve worked hard to not instil fear into my kids too, and will never say “be careful you don’t fall/slip/bang your head etc”, but instead say “do you think you can do it? Yeah? Go on then!” And then help them do it or better, stand back. Even if it is a bit sketchy for their age/stage. I think it teaches them to risk assess and know they’re responsible for themselves and their safety.

It has provoked comments before from other more anxious friends, and I like to wind them up as a result.

“If he falls off that rock he could break his neck.”
”Yeah, but he’ll only do it once.”

Could be a coincidence but it’s created brave but sensible kids.

Like a pp not plaque.

But like a plaque, everyone has a level of risk that they're comfortable with.

Like your baby monitor/car seat example. You say it's worrying, for other people they think it's safety.

I didn't personally have a video monitor or a rear facing (beyond a certain age). But if the rear facing car seats are safer then it's not anxiety to choose one.

It's like what age do you let your child cycle or run off ahead out of sight. Do you trust them not to run in the road. Do you feel otherwise safe in the environment you're in. This will be different for different families.

Who has told you that you're a lesser parent because you don't worry?

I don't think worrying is held up as being a good thing.

Feeling worried and anxious is a horrible state to be in.

I do think it can go to the other extreme. A certain amount of worry or more caution is a good thing. Children do need to be looked after at the end of the day.

It’s hard to get the balance. I’ve had to pull a child back onto the pavement - as he had gone ahead of his parents and his ball had fallen into the main road. He went to retrieve it without even looking - in the midst of fast traffic flowing.

Parent was so far back and didn’t have a clue what was happening .

Everyone will have a level of risk they are comfortable with. If someone is more cautious than you - it doesn’t make them anxious.

Mn is ridden with posters who have high anxiety. I don't really do anxiety. I don't really worry about ds's as such, even now they are older. I don't want them stabbed or hurt, but most of that is outside of my control anyway, so why worry?

I've found this at my kids very middle class school. It seems more normal to be less worried amongst some of my less than middle class school friends?! I worry when the kids are ill, when one kept having seizures, about my oldest fitting in/having difficulty with school, etc, but I had to mute some WhatsApp groups as some of the parents were so over the top about everything. I started to feel like a rubbish parent like you do, but I'm not sure what all the worrying about school dinners, swimming lessons etc achieves, so I ignore and eye roll nowadays.

Stealth goady thread.

But you can see your child asleep forward facing with a mirror.

Rear facing is 4 times safer so complain or not, your children would have been safer in an accident rear facing, that's not fear, it's just fact.

I think you are either a worrier or you’re not. I’m not and I’m very grateful for that. No one has ever implied (to my face at least) that not worrying makes me a bad mother, but to be honest I wouldn’t worry (see what I did there!) if they did.